I just thought I would post a little about myself here, even though some of you might know me from the "Beyond Jehovah's Witnesses" forum.
My name is Bradley and I live in a suburb of Chicago Illinois. I'm currently twenty six years old and left the JWs about nine months ago after a year and a half of intense doubts, many hundreds of hours of research, cognitive dissonance and bouts of vomitting (stressful, eh?). I was appointed a ministerial servant at eighteen years of age, pioneered for six years, served where there was a "great" need in the inner city and did just about everything an elder would do short of being one.
I was a voracious student of the Bible. Probably, because of this, I was aware of conumdrums in both the text itself as well as the Society's interpretation of it. Usually I would try to rationalize away these doubts, but time to time they would come up. Little did I realize just how many there were till a couple years ago when my best friend was reinstated and started to convey some of his doubts to me. He mentioned chronology, carbon dating, failed prophecy, evolution and the like. As he listed his concerns I said in the back of my mind, "you know, you have a very good point", although I initially set out to "help" him strengthen his faith. I endeavored to start doing extraneous research outside the corpus of WT literature and in the process lost my faith. (I truly wonder how many people leave the Society in an effort to help someone else regain their faith!)
It wasn't easy. Years of indoctrination and cherished beliefs are not given up in a few days. It took months and months of intense research into areas like science, history, psychology and the hidden history of the JWs. I also set out to compare the JW interpretation with other Christian viewpoints. Many dozens of books and hundreds of internet searches later I reached a state where I knew I needed to get out.
Last May I told my family I no longer believed. I was taking care of my sister and brother in law's house while they were serving at Bethel. In conversation with my ultra conservative Bethelite brother in law he told me, and I will always remember the exact words, "I want you and all your things out of my house and I never want you to talk to your sister again." I hung up on him. I left that weekend.
Amazingly, I never received any elders visits. I was able to just "walk away." (This was quite a shock to many people as my exit was sudden. I even conducted the bookstudy the week I left) Fortunately, my mother is a "liberal" JW and my best friend is a non-believing JW (he's only in it for the girls, hehe); they still talk to me. The rest do not.
I'm not bitter at the JWs, really. I do feel they are just misled zealots with a few truly nasty people in their ranks. My beliefs are now of a completely secular and scientific nature. I respect the Bible, but my intellectual honesty does not permit me to call it in any way inspired. I consider myself a weak atheist, but I enjoy studying Taoism and Buddhism (from a psychological standpoint only).
Currently I'm back in college with about two years to go for a teaching degree (perhaps in history or biology). Life is much better now that I have left and also put the process of leaving behind me.
Take care good people.
J. Bradley Potts
Edited by - logansrun on 29 January 2003 12:29:30