My parents sent the elders after me

by atacrossroads 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • atacrossroads
    I checked my facebook and I have a dozen messages from concerned friends and family telling me to come back to meetings. I shut it down. That will be one less avenue they will have to contact me even though I am hardly ever on fb.
  • Tornintwo

    Well done for the way you handled the elders, they weren't there to 'encourage' you, it sounds like they were there to try to catch you out. It's great your husband is being more reasonable, might wake him up.

    im in a similar situation, second month inactive so I'm expecting a visit soon, my planned responses are; I have some personal problems right now (true), thanks for your concern, don't want to discuss it right now.... Etc. etc.

  • WingCommander
    Don't shut down YOUR Facebook account. That just means they've won on some small scale. No! Learn to use your settings and security protocols correctly. Got people messaging you? BLOCK THEM. Keep on blocking people until they all get the message. Have your FB settings so that ONLY your FRIENDS can see your posts. That's it! People leaving their social media "open" is a huge problem that comes back to bite them in the ass. Lock it up, people! Don't less the assholes of the world win.
  • LisaRose

    Wow, it's crazy that your parents tried to plan physically force you to go to the meetings, that is really over the top. You are an adult, married woman, not a child. From now on just say that your parents and those elders have stumbled you by their unloving behavior. That puts the ball in their court, it's something they use to prevent people from doing normal things that are allowed per the bible, as in " if you did that, some people might get stumbled". Turn everything back to them and their atrocious behavior.

  • Lieu
    Odd how they don't realize their behavior coincides with Job's so-called friends. Harassment (in their minds helping) while attempting to compelling Job to do something he was not willing to do. Even with the loss of 10 children, he didn't allow the other people to make him do anything.
  • Vidiot

    Trying to force you to go; great idea.

  • FinallyMe
    My first part on this life saving forum. So good but sad 2 know how many are going thru the stress of leaving the borg. So angry tonight at the waste of my life, at the shame of shunning some family for so long, at the stress of clawing/begging /apologizing my way back into their lives. Have been so glad 2b free that i haven't been angry yet. What a fucked up way 2 live 46 years of my life! So glad I'm free while my kids are young enough 2 have a chance at normality. They're going 2 the convention tmorow wth their father tho and i hate the thought of it. He's a recently re-instsated areshole. Does anyone else feel stupid for being deceived for so long? AAAAAARGH! But really am so so glad to be finally me.
  • LisaRose

    Welcome finally me. Yes, of course we all do feel stupid for falling for this. But don't beat yourself up, we were victims of mind control. The people that did this knew what they were doing and manipulated us, just remember that and pat yourself on the back for figuring it out, many have not.

    Lisa 🌹

  • tiki
    I think most of us once we see the light are kicking ourselves for not waking up a lot sooner....esp we knew nothing else but cult control and were very conditioned to accept it as normal...its a longer journey in many cases...but self deprecation is unhealthy. Your parents acted crazily...and the two jokers at your door are just playing their ego trip as important ones out. Ignore all the stupidity. If you see them coming don't be available.Keep yourself unavailable for comment. Detach quietly if that suits you. We all have to do it in the way best for us as go girl!!!
  • problemaddict 2
    problemaddict 2

    Good job. really focus on your husband. His comment you "associate with apostates" is a bit concerning. Help him see you are just trying to be true to how you feel. To live with integrity is what you have been taught your entire life, and that is what you are exercising your right to do.

    I have a few great responses here that just shut it down, but stop anything from going further.

    I tell people, "I don't want to affect anyone elses faith negatively, even in error. So I keep my questions to myself. However for matters of conscience, I no longer attend meetings of Jehovahs Witnesses. that is all i am really willing to share without being in violation of my first rule."

    This in my opinion is the perfect FADER statement. In are doing the right thing, telling them what they would like to hear. Elders think it won't apply to them, and you just repeat it to them as well and act like it does. :)

    Your parents lost it, but it get heated. Give them a break. Speak to them, be vague. I told my mother the following just last week when she offered my the return to Jehovah brochure.....and she accepted it. Wasn't happy, but accepted it, and she visited me and her grandkids this week. :)

    "Mom I remember when I was young, you told me we follow God, not men. And if anything God was saying was different from what that WT taught, then you would choose God. You gave me a sense of integrity and loyalty to god over men from a young age. Because of things I know to be true that you probably don't know, and because of the evolution of the religious structure and dogma in particular over the last 10 years, I feel like I have to do exactly what you taught me to do. Follow my conscience over men. That is all I am doing. (I left my agnostic leanings and rejection of the bible as authentic out of it.....its too much at this stage).

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