Did being a JW stifle your ambition?

by ballistic 40 Replies latest jw friends

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  ballistic

  I read everyones comments and want to come back when I have time, but one thing that sprung into my mind as I read them was...

  The family who looked after me at age 17 - in the town where I was sent to pioneer school - never had children becuase of the "truth". NEVER HAD CHILDREN.

  Now, at the time to see them with beaming eyes looking at me like I was one of their own, almost tearful, touched me. But now looking back, and thinking about why people spend lives like that (and I MEAN spend lives) it really makes me sad.

  Imagine a life childless for the "truth". I hope that they don't suffer regret in their very last days, becuase that would truthfully be painful. Ignorance, at that stage, is bliss.

  I also felt for you Tatiana.
• 

  Big Tex

  I love astronomy and cosmology. I don't think I would have been another Stephen Hawking but I would have loved to have at least explored the field a bit. I had a four year scholarship at Stanford (among others) waiting for me when I was a senior in high school, but naturally I turned it down since college was evil and worldly. I was offered to skip a grade in school a couple of times, but I had to turn that down as well. When I was a junior in high school I was chosen to represent our school district in English at a conference. When I told my mother about it she sighed and said, "Well it's too bad you can't go." The next day I told them no and never even questioned why I had to turn it down. Looking back I'm amazed.

  One year in gym, the gym teacher for my class was also the basketball coach and he offered me a spot on the team. I was thrilled but, sports are very evil so I had to turn that down too. The baseball coach offered me a tryout one year, but I had to say no to that as well.

  So let's see, I could have gone to a highly respected university on a 4 year scholarship and gone on to be a astronomer, a cosmologist, an English professor, a basketball player or a baseball player. Instead, I worked as a janitor and pioneered during the day.

  Did the Witnesses stifle my ambition and talents?

  HELL YES!
• 

  Tatiana

  Ballistic, I know what you mean about being "childless" for the truth! My uncle (who claimed to be anointed) and aunt never had children. He was a brilliant man who could have been anything he wanted to be. He taught himself to speak Hebrew, German, and Russian. He was a very handsome man (kind of reminded me of Pierce Brosnan today) and had the patience of a saint.

  He made the decision not to have children on the fact that he'd be in heaven and not in the New Earth with his wife and child. Now, he's about 65 and very disillusioned with the society. He's emailed me telling me that he no longer believes in many of their teachings. He only attends the Memorial.

  What a tragedy. Their lives could have been so much richer......

  Guest...my mother was very controlling also. I think she took the "rules" of the society way too far. Also, I was very smart in school. Always on the honor roll. Put in college ed courses with only two other students. And for what???? To learn how to be a damn salesperson!!!

  I loved sports too. I wanted to play basketball so badly! But of course, like Big Tex said...sports are EVIL!!!

  To make it worse, she took my sister and me out of school in 1974. I was in 10th grade. But, you know, we only had a year till "the end"!! It was the worst day of my life!
• 

  Prisca

  Yes.

  I knew I wouldn't be allowed to go on to university so I didn't worry too much about getting good results, and just studied the subjects that I found interesting on a personal level. If I knew I could go to Uni, I would have chosen different subjects, and probably been able to choose any course I wanted. And probably earning twice as much as I do now.

  Or maybe not. Having a university degree is no guarrantee of a job. Or at least a well-paying one.

  To be honest, I don't worry about the "what-ifs". I have a job, I have a car, I can rent a reasonable place, I have good health, so I'm happy.
• 

  Gizmo

  Did not needing to plan for the future affect your career choices and your consequent wealth?

  Without a doubt in the world, as far as I'm concerned it hit hard with me, I wanted to wait till the New Order, I believed 100% in the LIE, and sometimes I let slip and still do. Grrrrrrrrr

  If I wasn'r brought up in the (B)org I would have definately been more ambitious No DOUBT!
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  kikisdragon

  Guest77 - I agree that life is what you make it, and that we should be our own person. But you seem to have forgotten that as a JW you are not allowed to "be your own person". If you decide to do so, then that usually gets you kicked out, or at least labeled a bad associate or an "independent thinker".

  >>>In response to the original question: Yes, I definitely think that being raised a JW stifled my ambition. I can think of several examples.

  I took many advanced classes in school and received good grades, all the way up through 10th grade, then dropped out. I felt like what's the point in trying so hard in high school, and training for a career, when I wasn't supposed to go to college anyways, and Armegeddon was supposed to be here before long and pioneering was supposed to be my career goal. Since leaving the Orginization about 4 or 5 years ago (I'm 33), I finally went to computer school, and received my Integrated Computer Applications Certificate. Not a degree, maybe, but I plan on taking more classes when I can afford to.

  In school, I was always in Choir, and love to sing. One of my dreams was always to be a singer - In high school, I tried out for the "elite" choir group, the Chansons, and was accepted, but had to turn it down, because so many of their performances were on meeting nights. (parent's decision, of course) I was pretty shy at that time, and I am convinced that if I had been able to be in the Chansons, and travel all around performing, I would have progressed towards my dream of singing, and it would have helped with my shyness I'm sure. Last year, when I was going to church for a while, I thought about joining their choir, if they'd let me. But that will not work, seeing as how I no longer believe in God or religion. That would be pretty hypacritical.

  One other example: I was also interested in architecture; I used to draw floorplans of dreamhouses I wanted to move into all the time. But I was discouraged from taking that class, because it was filled with all boys, and of course that could lead to dating worldly guys (gasp!), or being too friendly with the opposite sex, or who knows what else.....

  My other "secret" interests growing up were science fiction, and astrology. I know, science and astrology are kinda opposites, but that's what I'm into. I also liked to write, and did pretty well. But when my younger sister came along, well, she was The Writer and The Artist of the family, and just about everything else. And my family and "friends" certainly wouldn't have encouraged me to write anything related to science fiction when all good JW's knew that there were no aliens or other inhabited planets because Jehovah would have told us about it ahead of time of course. Okay, the astrology thing really didn't have anything to do with my ambitions or anything, just threw it in there.

  I am definitely trying to not spend too much time blaming my JW upbringing for every problem in my life; I think that we all need to take personal responsibility for our own actions, and consequences, and not blame/credit them to God/Satan or anyone else, where the blame doesn't belong. But I can't help feeling a little resentment for how I was raised, because it is so hard to catch up to the person I really want to be instead of who I am currently.

  -Karolyn-
  www.kikislittleshops.com
  http://kikisdragon.niftyfingers.com

  Edited by - kikisdragon on 18 January 2003 7:11:11
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  Emiliano

  In this race in the journey of life I see that the wathcower for many I would dare to say the majority of those raised in the "truth" has been a hinderence.

  While the everyone else is running the race you are being held back .

  IN you mark,

  get set,

  everyone else go!
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  Emiliano

  Ok, now that you dont have a clue where everyone else is at now see if you can catch up. Good luck! Go.
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  AlanF

  Oh yeah, I was stifled alright, but only until I wised up. Graduating high school in 1969, I fully believed the Society's prediction that Armageddon would come by 1975. I believed their lie that I would never grow old in "this old system". Largely due this, I did barely enough to get by in my senior year. Nevertheless, I received a minor scholarship but did nothing with it. I was offered help by a couple of non-JW family friends, who offered to help pay expenses given that my family was dirt poor. I remember thinking hard about whether it was better for me to go to college and only have a couple of years from graduation to Armageddon, or do "better" things in the intervening years. I chose the latter. In doing that, I realize now that my ambition itself had been stifled.

  After Armageddon didn't arrive, I gradually realized that the Society was wrong about a lot of things. In 1978 I went to college, ultimately graduating from MIT in 1982 with a Bachelor's in Electrical Engineering. I received no help from family, but my JW wife and I worked things out with the usual grants, loans and generalized scholarships as well as by working. During this time my ambition to do well grew by leaps and bounds. After I got a good job with an electronics company I got my Master's degree in EE, and later took about half the required courses for a Ph.D. So in the long run, my desire to succeed came back, even though it had been completely stifled by my JW upbringing.

  Of course, my career was badly set back. A lot of fellow EEs my age are already retired, but I'm probably going to be working until I'm 70. A divorce from my braindead JW wife didn't help any.

  AlanF
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  Tatiana

  kikisdragon

  I can relate to so many things you said in your post. It seemed you were talking about ME!!!

  I was interested in so many things. Ironically my "anointed" uncle got me so interested in Science Fiction. I now have a good collection of SF books and movies. He took me to see 2001 when I was about 11, and visiting him in Atlanta. I was hooked. When my mom found out, she forbid me to visit him again.

  I love to sing, but was not allowed in school to join anything. I once got a very bad beating when I was caught singing "Silent Night" behind a tree in our yard. I also love to write. I'm working on a story to submit to a paper here in Chicago.

  But, as AlanF said, who knows what we could have been, had we gotten started early in life like most "normal" people. When other people are retiring, we're just getting a degree, or even worse, still trying to catch up, like Emiliano said.

  because it is so hard to catch up to the person I really want to be instead of who I am currently.

  My feelings exactly...so well put.....

  Love...

  April