Sorry about your painful and probably costly experience. I think it partly stems from the fact that when we learn about such good things in the literature we believe that life in the WT is just like they write about. And the more trust we can get the wind knocked out of us. I've had one too and my trust took a real hit. But I refuse to roll over and play dead for the full count.
However, I feel that my tough experience has benefitted me. It reinforces what Ps. 146:3 says, "Do not put your trust in nobles nor in the son of earthling man to whom no salvation belongs". I have learned that I put too much trust and was so obedient that I didn't actually make my conscience as sensitive to Jehovah's leadings. So I've dusted off my behind and read everything with different eyes. I see things with different eyes and hear with different ears.
Final analysis, I am still a believer, but I can prepare Bible students tactfully to not "look too closely" at what other (including the High Tower) folks do. Their relationship must be between them and Jehovah alone. He will make the final judgment.
"Trembling at men is what lays a snare, but he that is trusting in Jehovah will be protected." Prov. 29:25 These men may be in/out of the org. It just says MEN.
So I've been freed from fear of men and feel a weight lifted off my shoulder. I am not as dogmatic as I once was and try to "cut some slack" for others. I attend meetings and do what I can in service while I try to balance what I feel will help me have a relationship with Jehovah and He has given me peace.
Share my greetings with your husband.