I couldn't agree with you more, Cassi.
I suspect that when marriages fail, it's rarely just one party's fault. Whilst it's not usually the case, oftentimes the least of the blame should fall to the party that leaves. The marriage wouldn't be failing, if all were right in the world.
In the case of an abused spouse, I agree, they should get the heck out of there (though that's their decision, in the light of their individual circumstances). Abuse is NOT acceptable, be it mental, emotional, or physical.
Society at large, and many folks of a religious persuasion, tend to elevate one person over another. Frankly that's just plain unacceptable. We are all equal in God's sight, regardless of what we have done (which was the thrust of my argument, albeit ineptly put).