Yes Lady Lee, I agree with you. The abuser is going to try to push all the blame onto someone else. The solution isn't going to come from that source. The solution has to come from some outside agency reaching the person and convincing them they don't have to take it anymore. That's what I meant by empowerment.
In my situation, I knew that I didn't have to put up with what I did, but I was worried about dealing with all the crap I'd have to deal with once I left. It did turn out bad, but then it started getting better. It's hard to believe it will ever get better when you're stuck in something bad that you've developed a coping system for. It's easier to just stick with what's going on then face all the new experiences and challenges. The number one being whether anyone is even going to believe you.
Another thing I've noticed when in an abusive situation is that you start to wonder if maybe things aren't that bad. You start to wonder if it's all in your head and that maybe it isn't your mate who has a problem but it's your mind. Master manipulators are great at exploiting this. So you can start to feel that you are lucky to have this person who is willing to put up with you in your messed up state.