HELP!!! Hubby turning home into 'Book Study'

by Skeptically Yours 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • Blueblades

    My thoughts have already been posted,by the good advice expressed here.Francois mentioned something that could be an underlining reason for your husband wanting to use the home as a book study.Reaching out to be appointed an Elder.Using the home as a stepping stone to this end. C.O. love to hear that a ministerial servant opened his home for the use of Field Service head-quarters.It means that he has a place to come for chow during his visit.

    One thing comes to my mind also that might help,or might not. The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS Book Chapter 3,Two Keys to a Lasting Marriage. The Second Key, Good Communication,page 37,par:24 Question :How will love and respect help when there are disagreements? Give an example.

    Answer :Recall the occasion when Sarah recommended to her husband,Abraham,a solution to a certain problem and it did not coincide with his feelings. Yet,God told Abraham:"Listen to her voice."Genesis 22:9-12.Similarly,if a wife suggests something different from what her husband has in mind,he should at least listen to her voice.

    Hope this scriptual example from the slaves own mouth will help you to persuade him to see things your way.We had a book study in our home for many years,got sick,cancelled it.Blueblades

  • lisavegas420

    This is kinda gross but here a little kid we had a Tuesday night study at our house....I remember seeing some little boy wipe his boogers on our couch.


  • Xander

    I don't see why no one has suggested the obvious:

    1) Buy 10 copies of 'Crisis of Conscience'

    2) Lay at least 2 in the bookstudy area (right before they start arriving) each week.

    You shouldn't even have to go through your whole stockpile! (If you think 2 is too conspicuous, try 5 'Gentile Times Reconsidered' and 5 'Crisis of Conscience', 1 of each every week)

  • Skeptically Yours
    Skeptically Yours

    To all,

    Thanks for your ideas and support.

    Hubby and I went out for breakfast the other day and I told him nicely that there's much needed house work to be done and that having the book study is a major inconvenience at this time.

    I'm watching him closely now; should he pull the JW male chauvinist attitude I'll announce that if the book study is placed at my house, I'm just not going to attend that meeting, ever!!!

    He'll be sooooooooo upset for a while, but ultimately he'll get over it.

    Take care!

  • SYN

    Just get a giant Smurf and put it in your garden where it will be immediately obvious to visitors!

    Oh, and make sure you tie down those floating couches, they're a dead giveaway!

  • PurpleV

    With all due respect, I think you have a bigger problem than the book study. You must love your hubby very much to do yourself the injustice of being spineless, either that or you are afraid of him.

    If he goes ahead and agrees to the study even knowing you don't want it, IMHO that would be a sign of great disrespect for you and borders on abuse. He should have said "OK honey, we won't have it" immediately after hearing your objection and not make you wait to see what he'll do.

    HUGS to you and I hope it all works out.

  • Room 215
    Room 215

    I agree with Purple V.... It's your husband that needs to be firm but polite in this matter. By the way, it's intersting that the chronic shortness of available houses for Book Studfies is a universal problem for JWs, or in trhe U.S. at least. No wonder, it's a thankless obligation.

  • BluesBrother

    Just returned to the thread. Had a thought too for husband who has to go back to the elders and say "Sorry, despite what I said, we cannot have it at our house after all" ..

    I know that the elder/M/s world is so damn macho that to admit that you have to consider your wife's feeelings is a real humble pie experience . after all they always say "Yes" to what ever they want and their wives just put up with it.

    You are considered a real wimp if they think that you're wife has put her foot down .. This is the circle he is trying to progress in . Better he learns it now.

  • target

    Many years ago we were asked to have the book study in our home. We had just moved into that house and soon found that there were strange things happening. If you sat in the room where the book study was held, you could clearly hear foot steps directly above. People would ask "Who is walking around upstairs?" We would reply "no one" If they were JW they would get a funny look on their face and never come back.

    Now my suggestion is, start a rumor that strange things like that go one in your house and there is not a JW who will come near your house. You know how JWs love to spread rumors.

    The elders asked my husband about a shepherding call and he said sure but he did not tell me. They showed up first thing in the morning and I was loading the dishwasher in my nightgown. I ripped into those elders and told them that they better ask BOTH of us next time. When next time came around and they asked, my husband told them no. They had no business asking your husband and not you when the imposition is on you.


  • truthseeker1

    If I were you, I'd show up late (I know, its at your house, but just start getting ready when people start showing up) and go and change right after meeting and come out in your PJ's. I think they'll get the hint. Maybe open up a beer or glass of wine too. Nothing wrong with a little alcohol

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