HELP!!! Hubby turning home into 'Book Study'

by Skeptically Yours 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • Skeptically Yours
    Skeptically Yours

    All, please HELP!!!,

    My husband, who's a Ministerial Servant, was approached by an elder and asked if he'd offer our home to become a 'Book Study' meeting place.

    I'm a bit of a loner, and need lots of peace, quiet, privacy, and solitude; plus to boot you all know I'm living this sort of double life, you know, just doing the very minimum to remain a Witness.

    This is awful!!!!!!!!!! I can't deal with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    How do I get out of it?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Take care!

  • patio34

    I don't have any help--sorry, but lots of tea and sympathy Good luck in dodging this bullet!


  • jgnat

    Can you speak frankly with your husband? He understands your temperament, I hope. Can you agree on what is "too much"?

  • Swan

    You could write a letter of disassociation. After I did that they never asked to use my house again.


  • SheilaM

    I personally would tell him you just can't deal with this at this time, I would start a major project painting the room he wants to be in for instance if he is one that can't take a hint. If all else fails I would tell him that it is YOUR house as much as his and you don't want people traipsing in and out every Tuesday (if that is the day they have the study...I swear I have BLOCKED WAYYYY TOO MUCH of this stuff)

  • blondie

    SY, consider the crunch on "your" time. Who will be responsible for seeing that the house is picked up for company (vacuuming, spotless kitchen and bathroom) twice a week? Who will do it when you are sick? Who will set up the chairs? Who will take down the chairs? If you have a secular job, how will that and this responsibility impact on you physically. In the winter, who will make sure the sidewalk, steps, and driveway are clear for visitors, even if it snows an hour before the study starts?

    I don't know your relationship with your husband, but will he turn it down if you just say you aren't up to it right now. That the stress of having it in your home will take energy away from your other spiritual responsibilities. If you are a private person, your husband should know that by now. My husband turned down the request to have a book study in our home because he knew it would put too much stress on me. Thank goodness.


  • RubyTuesday

    Strategically place little smurfies around the house and swear you have no idea how they got there.<sour apple martini speaking..not me>

    Serouisly ....I think just talking to your husband and letting him know your not up to it.

  • Skeptically Yours
    Skeptically Yours


    My husband is the type that does what he wants even when I disagree. And I'm a bit spineless when it comes to getting in his way once he's made up his mind about anything.


    Take care!

  • blondie

    SY, then let him clean the house. Let him do the vacuuming, let the bathroom be dirty, let him do the dishes, let him set up the chairs and take care of the snow. You just powder your nose and pick up your books and go downstairs just seconds before the study starts. I guarantee after a couple of complaints about the dirtiness of the house, that it will most likely be moved.

    Sounds to me like you have a big problem with your husband if he didn't consult you and doesn't care how you feel. The elders at least asked my husband to check with his wife to see if I could handle it.

    Just come down right when it starts and retreat right afterwards to your bedroom. Let your husband be the official greeter and get the children ready (if you have any yet at home). I would suggest getting locks for your bedroom and insist that all children be accompanied by a parent if they go to the bathroom during the study. Don't let anyone roam your home before or after the study.

    Blondie (who has seen and heard horror stories about have the study at one's home, even when you are a "good" JW)

  • JosephAlward

    You could try writing a letter disassociating yourself, addressed to the elders, then show your husband what you plan to do because you can't stand the loss of privacy. Perhaps he would rather suffer the embarrassment of having to abandon the home study than having everyone know his wife disassociated herself.

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