Are There Good People Out There?
Not every JW is judgemental and critical
Yes Lauren, a resounding yes that there are wonderful people out there. Like I said in another thread, a couple from my church has adopted my kids as their grandchildren. We're going over to their house this weekend for football and pizza, and they're going to teach my little son all about football because he wants to learn. They needed grandparents, my parents unfortunately don't see them, they don't seem to care about my children since I left their religion.
You found a real doozy of a guy, superficial and dependent on drugs for a good time. Not that all drugs are necessarily bad, but dependency on them is dangerous and desperate. You can do a lot better, I promise.
Not every JW is judgemental and critical
Right, but the organization, as run by the Governing Body, IS judgemental and critical. The elders are a direct product of this 'leadership,' hence they must become judgemental and critical. That can breed a mentality of distrust and gossip among the 'flock,' hence making THEM judgemental and critical.
But yeah, I've been one-on-one with JWs, during vacations, outings, sport events & such, where they've unplugged from the Borg, and I've found some genuinely decent people, once they let their defenses down.
I have many wonderful friends--some raised in some sort of religion and others with no religion--and very few of them have done drugs or go out partying. I know JWs I grew up with who had wilder double lives than my non-dub friends.
There are plenty of good men out there--you just have to look in the right place and you have to bring good things to the table for those good men to want to date you.
Theres a lot to be said for where you look.
The dating scene for some people is a bar.
For other people its volunteering or work or a sport they like.
A general rule of thumb is you will find people drawn to activities that indicate who they are.
Find something you like to do and see who else shares that interest!
Some of the best people I ever new were Roman Catholic.
What da hell is wrong with partying? As long as you can keep your life in balance, there's nothing to be ashamed of, notwithstanding the expressions of condemnation communicated by those who lack experience. I was raised a JW as well. If you think there is an "up side" to being raised a JW, you're delusional.
When you're raised with all aspects of your life controlled and sheltered, along with constant propaganda, you're bound to fall into experiences confirming the propaganda in your mind if you haven't full woken up and broken free.
I often mention in my comments that I've never been a JW, hoping sharing well rounded experiences on this board will be of benefit as well.
Even though I'm no longer mentally a JW (I still technically am) I do recognize that there are some benefits to being raised one.
There are countless other organizations/religions that offer the same benefits, if not better, and without the harmful undertone. A pedophile offers benefits when "grooming" their victim with promises, yet the abuse is the end result.
For example, the first (and only so far) wordly guy I was involved with had to smoke weed every day and got drunk all the time and that was his idea of fun. I couldn't help but feel bad for him. Just because I'm not a witness, I still think using drugs and alcohol as the only means to enjoy yourself is unnecessary and sad. Isn't it better to have a good time without mind altering substances?
I'm "worldly", Agnostic/open to and question all types of possibilities besides intentionally misleading mind control cults or anything that tries to strip one of their inner power. What you stated here left me laughing because it's what I've always felt word by word. Pretty open minded,yet not into drugs, weed, cigarettes, being promiscuous and rarely ever drink. None of it is my cup of tea, and I prefer getting "high" through life or being in the company of someone with a great sense of humor.
Also, he was super obsessed with his job. I can't help but still believe that money and career aren't the key to happiness..friends, family and adventures are!
True, money and career will not give you happiness. They simply make life easier to navigate through and a career enjoyed causes a ripple effect in all areas of life by means of stress reduction and some fulfillment as you're using your gifts.. Family, friends and life experiences are icings on the cake. True happiness comes from within, and only then, all else is fully enjoyed consistently.
Gotta get yourself out there and start meeting and experiencing different aspects of life. There will be good and bad in all types of people. The reality however, is that there are far more genuinely nicer. loving, healthy, well rounded people with good values out in the real world then within the JW's, and it's not with the aim of gaining "everlasting life".
hat they care about is a very telling factor. Do they have a substance abuse problem? Do they come from a generous family? These are all good things to research about the person.
Oh Bonsai, everything you said there is 100% true, but it cut me to the heart.
I come from a very mean family, mum left my dad as he was violent alcoholic, but at 8 I stayed with my dad ss I thought he needed me. My mum married a conservative man who didnt want his family to know I exsisted. All my life I felt unworthy to marry a good man because I felt I must be evil like my parents. Being a JW as a young teen made it even worse, a lot of Jw women have very low self esteem. I became a nurse because I wanted to do something posative in the world and not be a blood sucker capitalist type.
FOR ORIGINAL POSTER think ex JW can still have a "saviour"complex. I believe being kind and long suffering are wonderful qualities and Christs teachings are incredible.
ATHIESTS FOR JESUS!!!YEAH!! After studying philosophy and evolutionary biology I cannot help but be an athiest but I love Jesus and what he stood for, or should I say Pauline christianity as at least we know Paul exsisted. I also think all the negative stuff about women were 3/4th century additions. Knowing these Christian matyers were JUST HUMAN BEINGS with no holy magic makes them even more incredible and worthy of respect in my eyes. Sorry for going off topic.......SO
OP I am so glad you didnt take drugs/drink he may SAY its "fun"but I believe he is hurting inside and using to escape his reality. Your gentle non judgmentsl attitude makes u wide open to folk who have deep troubles, take care of YOURSELF first,u can only help others if u are healthy and strong yourself.Can you join a "hobby" group, if u have an interest persue it, u will enrich your life and its a great way to meet new people, potentialy a marrige mate with comman ground between you. There are many good worldly folk, perhaps if you volunteer for a charity or homeless shelter u will meet some loving souls there.
I have said before the only good thing people take when they escape from the borg is a good marrige mate-as most JW 's take their marrige vows seriously.
THERE SHOULD BE AN EX JW DATEING SITE!!There are so many kind and funny people posting on here, I often wonder what would happen if we all met up😃
OP Take care lovely one, I am sending my athiest Christian posative vibes!!
Secretslaveclass if you've been fed cheddar all your life and you're offered gorgonzola once not every other cheese besides cheddar is going to stink.
HA HA HA...BRILLIANT😄😄😄😄😄😄😄👍👍👍👍👍👍👍