MY MOST PAINFUL CONFESSION
Note to Simon: I will use some expletives, but I hope that they will be retained as this is intended to be an otherwise civil and thoughtful post to all my fellow ex-JWs. This is my Last Post for a while, not because I want to leave the Internet, but simply because I need to focus on getting cured of my heart disease.
I hate child molesters, to a point. Please read on, as this is most painful. However, they too need some kind of help ... and I hope that one day their treatment will be so simple and obvious that future generations will see our time frame as barberic ... in the same way we see our ancestors treatment of TB and Leporsy patients as wicked.
Common Sense: It has been said that Common Sense is not so common. I disagree. The average adult uses good common sense all the time ... that is why it is so common ... have faith in your fellow human being. Rather, it is our failure to use this "common" sense that gets the attention most often ... and makes the newspapers.
Life is most painful: It is just the way it is. Anyone on earth can say they were screwed by something. Ex- Communists can bitch about the Party in Russia messing them over. Ex-Catholics can moan about the Pope. Ex-wives can rightfully complain about the bastards they were married to. Adult children of alcoholics can cry tears of grief over a lost childhood. Children in war-torn countries have every right to fear and hate the senseless slaughter of their families ... and on and on and on ... and ex-JWs have the same right to spew foul language at the Watchtower Society, just as victims of molestation have the right to mourn their pain over lost innocence ... life is a difficult challenge ... it has always been and always will be. We humans collectively and individually have the power to change much for the better, but we fail to do so, or our best of efforts and intentions often do not fully achieve what we initially intended. It is just the way it is ... and ... sometimes in our effort to fix things we make things worse than when we began ...
By what right do I have to register a complaint? Here is my record:
The short story of Jim Whitney: I was born in 1951 at March Air Force Base, near Riverside, California. Like anyone, I was just a baby, entering this world to live or die, or grow or shrink, or succeed or fail, just another one of billions of people on this planet.
My mother had miscarried three years earlier and the doctors insisted she have a hysterectomy ... instead they tied her uterus to her backbone and told her never again to get pregnant ... three years later she conceived me and was told to abort or she would die. She told the doctors to go to hell as she did not believe in murdering her own child. She had values and as a result I was born. She lived until 1966, when she died of cancer. In her personal opinion, she viewed abortion as cold-blooded murder period and anyone who tries to justify abortion, in her opinion, is worse than a pedophile. Regardless ... because of her values ... I am here ... and I am most grateful to a great mother ... Dorothy Whitney. Thank God she protested abortion ...
By the time I was 5 years old my father had already molested my brother and sister many times over many years. I caught my father raping my sister just before I turned 6 years old. It was fascinating and disgusting to watch him hide in the closet while my sister laid in his bed ... and as I approached her crying because neither of us knew or understood what was really going on ... my loving and caring sister showed more concern for me. She did not then, nor does today, play the victim card or feel sorry for herself. She is a great hero. She is like my mother ... she has guts, intestinal fortitude ... she is a medical worker ... and I would stack her up any day of the week against anyone ...
IN 1966 my mother died, my father abandoned me, and life seemed pretty grim. IN 1968 I started associating with the JWs. I was baptized in 1970. I became a JW because I truly thought that they had something going with respect to a paradise earth and a cure for the ills of all humankind. What a sad pathetic joke of a religion. What a cruel twist of fate!!! How could a good and gracious God as this so-called "Little Jehovah" purport to be, ever in his right mind, allow such a total and wicked deception? As I have come to realize, this "Jehovah of the Watchtower" is a false god, a wimp, a pathetic little nothing that cannot even measure up to the excrement of Beelzebub! Am I too bitter? No. As an adult, I finally figured out that the "Jehovah of the Watchtower" is a fictitious false god and not at all associated with the Son of God, Jesus Christ. Jesus would be ashamed and sickened at the so-called "Jehovah" invented by the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses.
Insult to Injury - My Most Painful Confession: Something I have never stated publicly is that I too was molested when I was 8 years old. I was thereafter ridiculed by the molester, being told I was sissy or that I had legs like a little girl. I was taunted for years and years by this molester. I was not molested by my father and have never revealed to this day who molested me, except to my wife, but the molester is now dead ... yet ... I hold no hatred ... just pity for the man ...
I grew up in fear thinking that people would think I did something wrong ... and my fears were made worse when society at large stated that male molestation victims were most likely to become molesters, thus making male victims once again fearful and hated. It is a goddamn nightmare and anyone who has ever truly been molested, and taunted by a molester, knows what in the hell I am talking about ... yet, I can rest in good conscience that I broke the wicked cycle with my own children ... and they will stand tall as free from anything to do with that crap in their life ... praise God!
The Watchtower gets exposed. Being a JW somehow made me feel a false sense of security thinking that somehow I was protected by this person called ""Jehovah"" ... I did not understand that there is no protection. Life is painful and that is the way it is. Eventually, I became a JW Elder ... WOW ... lucky me ... and then I discovered the pedophiles in the JW religion. I was horrified ... and honestly, I knew something was wrong, even before I read Ray Franzs books. I knew I had to leave this pathetic religion ... then, when I made my exit, I finally turned to the authorities and reported a JW pedophile. Nothing could be done, but at least my conscience was clear ... and recently, I had the pleasure of giving many details regarding many molesters to an attorney who will be filing suits against the Watchtower Society.
Sometime later in a sad turn of events I learned that my wife of 27 years was molested by a hospital chaplain ... yes, a man of the cloth ... and a so-called family friend. The untold effects on my marriage are too numerous and painful to relate herein. The pain, the confusion, the unthinkable tragedy and insanity are simply unthinkable and frankly, in spite of my most noble passions and words ... I would likely do harm to this poor excuse of a human were I given a chance to meet him ... then again ... maybe not ... maybe I would find some way to show compassion ...
One Day, I found the Internet ... yes, thousands and thousands of ex-JWs ... and like so many I started to tell my story ... and soon my ""Justice Series"" became well known on H20 and then JWD and included the accounts of pedophilia within the Watchtower religion ... then Bill Bowen came forward ... and then SilentLambs ... maybe there was a god after all ... Justice was just around the corner ...
All was going well until the incident with Ray Franz ... not because I think Ray is perfect, but because the allegations made against him were asinine and plain bullshit ... what in the hell are we? As ex-JWs we of all people should be most sensitive to false allegations and hurting innocent people ... but somehow this mattered not to the blind and militant people who are somehow ""one can short of a six-pack."" ... then before I knew it some poster named Trauma_Hound on JWOL (and also JWD) called me a "Pedophile Loving Asshole" ... Wow!!! ... how in the hell did this happen? How did I, a victim, somehow end up being called this by a fellow ex-JW simply over a difference of opinion? ... Cause it is the fault of Evil-ution ... Why can't we simply agree to disagree when necessary?
I am sure that this Trauma_Hound fellow has had his own sad story and his own pain ... that is why I cannot hate the little immature wuss ... but what I learned is that all this crap in life boils down to two things: Common Sense and Maturity (Come on TH relax and see the humor )
IN my life, I have suffered: Many bouts of life-threatening pneumonia starting at 24 months old ... I have had a stroke, a heart attack ... been molested ... I have been most successful professionally and been bankrupt twice ... I have raised a family ... loved a great wife ... got divorced ... and am now starting to succeed again ... I am a published author and a loser ... I have believed in God and ... been a virtual atheist ...
In all this, I have lived ... I have pushed the envelop ... made a life and continue to live the life ... yet somehow, we seem to manage to be our own worst enemies ... even as ex-JWs we somehow manage to hurt, and revile, and curse, and spew painful things at one another why? I dont know ...
But, in concluding I guess I am afraid for the average ex-JW ... Why? The Watchtower system is not about to give any accountability or justice ... we are plain screwed ... admit it and move on. I am also very concerned that many ex-JWs, due to lack of formal education, are not willing, capable, or understanding of what they read and will become yet victims of more radical cults and wicked religious leaders like the Governing Body of Jehovahs Witnesses so ... here is my thought ... (yes, my Thirteen Final Holy Commandments for Life) for many of these folks:
- Get a college degree especially in a serious discipline like law, medicine, or engineering ... anything but basket weaving.
- Read and think about what is written and stop assuming what people mean ... understand that your fellow human is much like you ... give the benefit of the doubt ... give up being anal-rententive.
- Think for yourself and stop parroting what you hear ... I mean really think.
- Get over the Watchtower religion. It is a pathetic false religion, and a proven fraud, so why do we give it the damn time of day?
- Have some fucking compassion for your fellow human being stop judging and cussing people out ... I mean ... come on ... why all the needless angst?
- Relax and have some fun and make life good. Most of our happiness is in our own hands
- See and enjoy the humor of life ... listen to Farkel with a Sparkle to see the humor in life ... 90% is humor.
- Realize how short life is and value every moment as precious ... it may be your last.
- Build up your fellow human, not for gain, just because it is good to do.
- Regardless of your belief system, at least love one another. For in this Jesus proved righteous.
- Christmas, Birthdays, Easter and other social customs are good and don't ever again let anal-retentive religions stop you from having happy moments.
- Don't arrogantly discount God, he just may care about you, and he likely have invented evolution ... and he may have your eternal happiness at heart ... besides we have to admit Jesus Christ is cool.
- Life is painful enough, so why kick one another in the ass all the time? Why not love and care for one another? Regardless of our individual beliefs, at the end of the day what we made of today and how we treat one another is what really makes up the stuff of life .. like a bank account ... what we make of life either says we are bankrupt or adds up to a ""big positive"" that says we are all millionaires in our hearts.
It has been a great experience ... I love you all ... and thanks for everything you have given to me in the way of good words, phone calls, cards, letters, and most of all, for your prayers, I am eternally grateful.
Happy New Year and Bye for now ... Love, Jim Whitney
1816 S. Arlington Heights Rd.
Arlington Heights, Illinois 60005
847-952-0909 x 122
Edited by - Amazing on 29 December 2002 4:9:51