Life after the witnesses, friends, faith etc

by Theburstbubble 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    I like your name Theburstbubble ! Welcome to the rest of your life . Take your time there is no rush to have all the answers at once. Yes it is a scary step to take ,but seriously will be the best one I think you can make for your daughter .

    When I left I felt the need for a spiritual community ,and attended a Church down the street . I am glad I did ,because all my life I had been told so many lies about 'worldly' churches .I wanted the chance to see for myself . Everything I had been told was a LIE . It was a good experience for me ,but over time I found I just didn't need it anymore . You won't know unless you try . This is what I find so amazing being out of the JWs is that now I can fully decide for myself whatever I want to do or not do.

    Best wishes on your journey ! ENJOY

  • kaik

    I had changed my life by starting living in another country. Went to school in years, when others were starting to climb in the career ladder. I did not received my B.S. until I was over 30. I earned two graduate certifications afterwards and now I am six months from completing my Master's well over 40. Nothing is stopping me and my life after KH is fulfilled.

    People are good and bad as in the KH. I met genuine people outside KH. I am married to Jewish person and my in-laws are great. While I am very doubtful of others people intention and I do not trust to people, I am friendly enough to have friends which we camped in the woods, shared beach house, or went ski.

    Question of God, faith, and religion will be your personal struggle. There is not much someone can advice you as you need to deal with it with your own feelings, beliefs, and upbringing. Everyone is different. Some people joined other churches, while other became atheist. Either way, it will be your own personal journey.

  • LisaRose

    Hi and welcome. I have been out for a long time, so I have completely adapted to life as a non JW. I have new friends and find them to be just as good as my friendships before, but different. I only think about the JWs when I come here, otherwise it's not a part of my life.

    It does take a while before you get to being your natural self, the person you were meant to be if you hadn't become a JW. Be patient, as change doesn't happen over night, and it takes a while before you get rid of Watchtower thinking. At first I just thought they were not just mistaken on some things, but as time went on I realized they really got nothing right. About eight years in I lost faith in God completely, I am happy to not have to worry about any of it anymore. I think we are here for a short while on earth, make the most of it, you don't get a do over or a second chance, so don't waste in service to a cult. I am happy in my life and my only regret was not leaving sooner.

    I hope you have a very successful transition as well.

  • FayeDunaway

    All of us are different. For me, I found the deepest faith I ever had by studying the Bible on my own. I compared NWT scriptures with other translations, especially focusing on Jesus' relative position with his Father. Long story short, this led me to the nice liberal Protestant mainline church im in now. I chose really carefully, based on how openminded the believers were and how much diversity of thought and if they valued education and independent thinking. Also it's not a huge church and the people there are like family now. Actually one of the older couples is like my children's grandparents. Truly. I've made a lot of other friends by pursuing hobbies and volunteering at school etc., but the church friends are the best ones. It was huge for me to walk in the first time and sit down. I actually cried through the whole service, I must have looked like an absolute nut. It was kind of a joyful mourning. It went against everything I had ever been taught. It felt like I was betraying everyone I ever knew. But it was where I was dying to be for a few years, and I finally faded and got there.

    Most of us exJWs seem to become atheist. But I needed God in my life, and I'm happy this way and feel like it's right for me and and it's brought me many, many good things. And Christmas and Easter at church are absolutely amazing. I really really love it all. Well a couple of people annoy me but mostly it's all just hugely wonderful and a really important part of my life that I just couldn't live without.

  • problemaddict 2
    problemaddict 2

    Hey BB,

    Honesty is shocking isn't it. Like when you really start to allow yourself to believe what you already think, its kind of amazing. Well that is just starting. Not "feeling like a fraud" as you put it, is its own reward.

    I had a friend of 20 years tell me 2 weeks ago we could no longer be friends. That hurt. Last week I have a friend of 23 years old thank me because a conversation and link I sent him opened his eyes to the fact he was part of a high control group that does not speak for God.

    That is a roller coaster. But I like you, felt like the price of living an authentic life was WORTH loosing those who would not be my friends. In particular, because my two young children need an authentic father with integrity to raise them.

    Dont stress about what else you HAVE to believe or WANT to believe. Purge the REQUIREMENT to believe anything from yourself first, and then you can figure out what you think and feel on your own terms, with an honest heart.

    Making friends? Not always easy. I'm aware of certain social awkwardness I was unaware of before because everyone I knew had t the same. But I'm fortunate.

    In all honesty have your husband on your side, and your little girl. that is more than a lot that leave get to leave with. So good for you!

    And this place.......kind of therapeutic.


  • Ding

    Regarding your question about the GB, I think they really believe in their own important role in history.

    Beyond that, who knows?

  • OnTheWayOut

    Welcome. My new friends are way way way more genuine. They are not conditional. They don't care if I am liberal or conservative, atheist or Buddhist. I had to find friends instead of just having the instant fake friends from the Kingdom Hall.

    As far as your need to believe or not, take your time. If God doesn't understand your need for time out, then he is not who they say he is.

  • Mary J Blige
    Mary J Blige
    I made many friends at university through my degree, found I was always interested and lifted by intellectual conversation. Not doom and gloom other than eating 2 minute noodles day in and out. We were all striving for a similar goal so it was a positively motivating experience. I never missed my witness friends, some of whom disowned me before I officially left. Your sincerity will be very noticeable to others like you. Weed em out, pick and choose.
  • Theburstbubble
    Thanks for all of your comments. It's nice to know there are many out there who have felt the same and have moved on. I get so frustrated with feeling the way i do. I feel relieved to be leaving but on the same hand so nervous to be breaking away and facing the real world. I know we have made the right decision though, no doubt about that.
  • Perry
    Begin with Jesus. He is the beginning and the end.

Share this