Life after the witnesses, friends, faith etc

by Theburstbubble 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • cantleave


    My wife and I left in our 40's after both being brought in the cult. Our whole social network was JW, I even worked for a JW owned company staffed primarily by JW's. We started making new friends within the Ex-JW community. We also gained lots of support form neighbours and others in our local village. It takes time but eventually you will replace your conditional JW friends with those that are unconditional and who genuinely for you. "Worldly" people are authentic people, not the synthetic drones found in your local Kingdom hall.

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Hi BurstBubble, welcome to a place where you can be free to talk and listen to others who are/have already faded from the control of the Org - having found out what you've discovered.

    One size doesn't fit all, so take your time and don't be hasty to make any dramatic moves.

    If you want to keep friends & family on board, (to some degree) then you'll have to fade, very gradually.

    Decrease field service, miss a meeting now & again, come off the Ministry School, avoid assemblies.

    When questioned by anyone - especially elders - be prepared to say nothing, except that you both have private & personal issues which you are taking in prayer to Jehovah.

    If they persist, simply repeat - private & personal!

    I wish you and your family a safe journey.

  • SecretSlaveClass


    Welcome to the family mostly dedicated to researching and discussing an anti-Org vaccine. As I'm sure you can already tell, you will find no shortage of genuine and compassionate members eager to help and make you feel welcome. You are amongst an online dysfunctional but sincere family of sorts. Enjoy!

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    Hi Theburstbubble, lovely to have you here! When the bubble burst you never need to get trapped inside another one!

    It really does take time to get the brain rewired after being a JW but eventually the old proddings fade away and you can be true to yourself and your immediate family.

    I found it surprising how very good friends shunned me after leaving but then if their friendship was conditional on the imagined requirements of an invisible sky god, I'm sorry for them... but there are plenty of happy sensible contented non JWs out there who are good company.

    Hope it goes well with you and husband in the beautiful real world.

  • StarTrekAngel
    The only thing I disagree here is faith. Blind faith can be defined as believing something without proof. In my own awakening process, I have come to realize that God does not demand blind faith. The definition of faith in the gospels talks about expectations for the future but the rest of the bible shows that such expectation does account for the positive experiences of the past. Is sort of like a spiritual credit score in my view. Credit score for God that is, not you.
  • SecretSlaveClass
    John Aqila:
    If there is a God and he is almighty, just, loving, and merciful, you shouldn't have to worry about judgement. If there is no God or he doesn't care, then you shouldn't have to worry either because once we're gone we won't know a thing. So enjoy your life and your family, that's the best thing. Isn't that what the Bible teaches.

    Well said!

  • SecretSlaveClass


    My main thing is that I don't want my little girl to be brainwashed the same way as I have been and want her to be in life whatever she wants.

    The fact that your child takes priority over the doctrines and policies of other men in itself disqualies you from the JW candidate pool. Outstanding, I already think you're awesome!

  • millie210

    Hello theburstbubble, great to have you here!

    I admire that you think so clearly at your age. Its taken me a lot longer to begin my exit and to help my now grown kids exit also.

    Try not to feel you have to rush in to a new set of beliefs. Other people have put it beautifully above so I wont beat the drum again but I hope you will know that we live in a world where there are a lot of unknowns and a lot of grey areas and you owe it to no one to rush yourself.

    Take your time and you will sense what is right as you go along.

    One nice thing is your daughter starting school next year will open a great doorway to meeting other young moms like yourself.

    Even as a JW, I volunteered a lot at my kids school and made wonderful friends (wordly people -gasp - lol) that are still friends today many years later.

  • Giordano

    My wife and i both grew up in our respective JW congregations and left together in our twenties. We weren't shunned back in those days, the 1960's, you could just fade and have a 'normal' relationship with one's family members however the 800 pound gorilla 'the truth' was always present during our visits.

    As far as all of the 'friends' like others here we had to make new friends the same exact way we made friends in the JW world. We found people with common interests who met on a regular basis. That way relationships can grow organically and naturally. A Mom's club works, you have your kids in common, school in common, events etc. Playing sports, music, either playing or attending,Volunteering for a non`profit something you believe in, the food pantry, free clinic, library, civic groups, all provide a natural way to meet people and do some good.

    You have left the limited world of the JW'S and now have choices plus an extra 20 to 30 hours a week to do something with. Learn a new trade or profession, start a business, get a degree.

    Meanwhile there are hundreds of people right on this forum who have left, or are leaving/fading or DAing themselves or hiding in plain site, Elders, MS trying to accomplish their exit.

    This place will serve as one of the bridges to a new and better life.


  • Ding

    I wouldn't recommend going to a church right away. That's too big a culture shock. Lots of negative triggers created by the WT (crosses, collection plates, paid clergy, fear of demons, etc.).

    Since you want to maintain faith in God, I recommend that you get a non-NWT Bible and read the New Testament without WT materials.

    You'll find that the message is quite different than what the WT says it is.

    What Bible version should you try? There are lots of good ones. New International Version, English Standard Version, Revised Standard Version, New American Standard Version. If you want, try several versions and compare them. They're very similar.

    If you'd like to discuss what you find there, feel free to PM me. I promise not to try to get you to join some organization.

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