Paranoid Schizophrenia

by Nickey 33 Replies latest watchtower medical

• 

  NeonMadman

  After reading your later comments on this, I think I'm with wednesday. She needs to get psychiatric help. If she is being physiaclly abusive, you can probably force her to get help by charging her with assault and battery. In most cases of this sort, the judge will give the defendant the option of hospitalization over jail, particularly if you, as the victim, request that.

  This is going to be very hard for you to do, and, in a worst case, it might even bring about the end of your relationship with her. But the alternative is to continue to accept this abuse given to yourself and others for as long as she lives. I'd suggest talking to a lawyer, if you can afford it, and a free legal clinic if you can't. Describe the situation as you have here, and ask them what you can do to force her into a situation where she can get the help she needs.

  The worst thing you can do is cover for her with outsiders. If I had to do my first marriage over again, I would not have shielded my (then) wife from the consequences of her actions as I often did. It's like what they say about an alcoholic. If he passes out on the kitchen floor, and you pick him up, clean him up and tuck him into bed, you are only enabling his further drinking, and making the situation worse for both you and him. The best thing you can do is leave him there and let him deal with the natural consequences of his actions.

  Frankly, the fact that people like these can control themselves when others are around, and act out only behind closed doors (my ex was the same way), leads me to wonder if there is not a degree of deliberateness in what they do. They may be delusional, but they are not so far detached that they cannot see how convenient it can be to be crazy. You can get away with the most outrageous behavior, and people just chalk it up to the fact that you're looney. If you buy into that by covering for her - by keeping it the family's "dirty little secret" - you are enabling her behavior. Don't do it. This sort of behavior needs to be exposed to people who can provide help, and she needs to be forced to get help - if necessary, by being committed against her will to a facility where help can be provided.

  As I said, it won't be easy. Good luck.
• 

  garybuss

  
  
  I grew up with a mother who suffers from untreated mental illness. She is paranoid, has a percussion complex, is neurotic, anti social, and prone to extreme mood swings and episodes of violent rages. My father is in complete denial that there is anything wrong with her. Both are Witnesses. He spends his time manipulating people and things to try to appease her. He has ended up nearly as sick as her by living in her delusions and trying to pacify her. She became dependant on prescription drugs years ago and has abused those terribly. She has migraines, eczema, and every allergy imaginable. He is treated for asthma and has become as hateful and resentful as her.
  
  Now they are in their 80's, isolate with the shades drawn and live with constant resentment and fear. They have dispensed with me years ago, as has my only brother, also a Witness.
  
  Sorry to hear of your challenges. I hope it gets better. Best wishes.
  
  

  The Way I See it http://www.freeminds.org/buss/buss.htm
  
• 

  ballistic

  Why are you all talking about me???
• 

  LeslieV

  Dear Nickey;

  My heart goes out to you!!! I would suggest that if indeed she continues to behave this way when she begins you need to call a mental health crisis hotline. Explain to the worker what your mother is saying etc. They can issue a 945 pick-up order. That will send the police to pick her up. In this way it gets you out of the picture. If your grandfather or anyone else says you are wrong then tell them that they need to come and live with her because you no longer can tolerate living with someone that has mental health issues that everyone is in denial over.

  Dear you have been a martyr long enough. You need your own life. Your mothers mental health issues will take over your life so that you no longer have one. That is exactly what she and your family wants. If she keeps telling you that she is going to kill herself you need to tell her that she is the only one that can make decisions about her life you are in no way responsible for her actions. It is a manipulation tactic that she is using to hold you hostage. Don't forget that she needs help. Walking away might be the only way that she will get the help that she needs. Please think of your own stability and your own happiness. My thoughts are with you.

  Leslie
• 

  caligirl

  (((Nickey))) My heart goes out to you. What a difficult situation to live in. I am with those that are of the opinion that it would be best to remove yourself from the house as soon as possible. Her threats to kill herself are manipulative of you and your emotions. It is not likely to improve, and the fact that she is physically abusive to you is an added danger. You need to protect yourself from further harm, emotional and physical.You are no longer a child, and obedience is not a relevant argument for your grandfather to try to use.You are an adult and no longer under anyones subjection in those terms. Paranoia is one of the most difficult mental illnesses to treat because as you have seen, the person with the illness is often able to pull out a "sane act" to fool others due to their inability to trust anyone for the fear that the one offering help is out to get them. I hope that you are able to find your way out of this situation and move on to a healthy life.
• 

  Debz

  Certainly I believe that religion can influence the degree of paranoia that one may mainifest - my experience is that when my mother was younger she was worse, much worse than what she is now....BUT she did`nt have much to do with me for 20yrs so not sure how she worked through it. I remember a `sister` in my cong when I was younger who stated she used to `see` devils in her bedroom...no-one questioned her about it - in fact they were almost in AWE that someone may have had this experience. My daughter is a PS and the influence of my folks (the dub ones) seriously affects her hallucinations and delusions - my folks state often that satan`s power is working through the popular ornaments and statues thats she has of wizards etc...you can imagine the UNhelpfulness of such comments!.....Sorry you are experiencing this and hope the future gets better for you!
• 

  Jerry Bergman

  A very interesting thread! I have worked with many many Witness paranoiacs when I was practicing so all of this sounds very familiar to me (and obviously to others). This is why I wrote my book on Witnesses and the Problem of Mental Health (and my critics have hammered it home to the media that I am way off base. They claimed that there is no problem with mental illness among the Witnesses)! The Australian study by Dr Spencer concluded paranoid schizophrenia is 4 times higher among the Witnesses population than the nonWitness population. I am still convinced that this is true. By the way, it is a very difficult area to deal with, and the courts and mental hospitals are not much help in many cases. I am aware of many horror stories!
• 

  ThiChi

  Hey, your mother and my mother would be best of friends if they would ever meet.

  If you have really no other outlook or fulfillment in life other than God, then things can become unbalanced. God has better things to do too, you know.

  Edited by - thichi on 24 December 2002 11:2:13
• 

  dannyboy

  The laws that apply to how to get someone help vary greatly from place to place.

  What follows is for California:

  Here in California, the "5150" law covers the "non-consenting" situation (i.e. getting someone help who does not see the need for it). The thrust of the law is that the person must be either:

  1. A threat to themselves as witnessed by a person who is listed in the law (i.e. Police Officer, Doctor, etc.)

  2. A threat to someone else as witnessed by a person who is listed in the law (i.e. Police Officer, Doctor, etc.)

  In other words, bringing a relative or other loved one to a hospital or mental health facility in California and making a statement about what the person has been doing, has said, etc. won't get you anywhere (remember, this is for California). The reason for this seems to be concern for a false claim of mental illness so greedy children/relatives could benefit financially, etc. So the law here in California makes it difficult to get help for a high-functioning person who needs help but doesn't recognize the need.

  Even if the person meets at least one of the above two criteria, they are only taken in for a maximum of 72 hours. If the medical professionals don't see sufficient evidence to hold the person further, they get released. Imagine the situation where you succeed in getting the person in for treatment, only to have them released and come back home to vent their feelings on you......Been there. Done that.

  The agonizing thing here is that some people who don't see the need for professional help can function quite high-level, (i.e. not manifest symptoms continually), making the prospect of getting them needed assistance a minefield. I know. Been there, done that.

  It is my understanding that some other states have much more enlightened statutes on this issue, for example, requiring a brief mental evaluation upon sworn statements of specific people (adult son/daughter, spouse, etc.)

  I don't know enough about the situation described above and feel personally restrained from giving advice about moving out, etc. But I can understand the concern.

  Nickey, hope this helps. You are not alone. As you can see, lots here in this forum have lots of love and concern to share.

  ---Dan
• 

  Nickey

  Yes, I am thinking of doing that.

  The odd thing I notice is, she's only happy if she's getting sympathy or if someone else is having a bad day.

  We flew home for a family reunion and the whole visit was centered around her being "sick". I'm asking my family what they meant and they told me she called everyone before we arroved and told them she has cancer. This obviously made me very upset because she knows, I know and the doctors know that she does NOT have cancer. CT scans, almost every expensive test showed no signs of cancer and said she was healthier than most people her age. Which she isn't even 50 years old yet.

  She will not stop until someone feels sorry for her to the point of tears. It's hurt alot of people. Even me because all through my childhood she told me she was going to die any minute. That was 10 years ago. I spent my childhood afraid she was going to die. And now I hear that she's healthy after all these years.

  So my questions is:

  Is she fully aware of what she's doing?

  Either way, I will take the advice and move out. Because I've missed out on enough of my life as it is. Mental illness does rub off because they can DRIVE you to lose your own mind. And it didn't help that people in the congregation would reinforce and instigate the notions in her head. Pumping fears of demons by pointing out what was demonized. A hair clip, a coin, a piece of paper with "church" on it...etc. It just added an extra burden on me.