Paranoid Schizophrenia

by Nickey 33 Replies latest watchtower medical

• 

  wednesday

  Nickey,

  u go and have a life. Your mom is not old and unlikely to die. probalby she will not kill herself either, just based on the fact jws think suicide is a sin. Keep in touch, but find support and friends and have a life. And yes, being around someone like that can cause u to become , well for lack of better word, strange. Moving out is a normal thing. u are an adult. u weren't going to spend your life living with her.

  U are beating your head aginst a brick wall trying to decide if she knows what she is doing. Probably on some level she does, but she is mentally ill and will probably continue this behavior without treatment.Even with treatment, paranoid schiz is very hard, on the person and the family.It's a dastrdtly illness, and will destroy your life if u do not distance yourselfl form it a bit.
• 

  ugg

  (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( nickey )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
• 

  SPAZnik

  Nickey,
  
  I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. I empathize with your situation
  because I have had to deal with abusive and paranoid family members with various
  mental health issues my entire life. I also ended up married to someone for
  about 5 or 6 years who was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
  
  My primary suggestion would be to seek outside help for yourself. Talking to us is a great start..
  but I'd also suggest finding professional help asap to support YOU.
  I say this because I feel strongly that no person should have to put up with being abused, physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, or spiritually...and no person should be
  expected to deal with this type of thing all on their own. I've tried, and I'm
  pretty resilient and invincible. But even I couldn't do it. ;)

  Recognize your limits. You cannot help others until you help yourself. You can, but you will wear out. There is help out there. Why not get some? Go find professional counselling for yourself, first.
  You could talk to your Doctor. Call community mental health clinics and investigate what programs
  or support groups they offer, for YOU. This can help support you in dealing with
  the situation you face. At the very last, they can provide a hearing ear for you
  to talk to and they can also give practical advice and suggestions on how to
  deal with the kinda stuff you are faced with. These types of organizations have experience with
  what you are facing. Don't go it alone, use them. Once you've gotten some support for yourself, you will probably find it easier to find solutions to help your mother.
  
  Please try and recognize that you are not helping your mother if you allow her
  to be abusive to you. People, with or without mental illnesses, do not change until they are made
  uncomfortable. From what you say, your mother has already made this evident
  (acts up at home, acts normal when others will see). Don't let her harm you.
  Noone deserves to be abused. Don't put up with that, k?

  SPAZ
• 

  Gizmo

  Hi Nickey,

  Firstly let me say I'm sorry you are being made to endure such abuse, I haven't read all the responses to your original post..so maybe i am repeating something someone already suggested...but here goes anyway.

  • Get yourself a tape recorder, a small one and keep it on yourself at all times when you are around your mom.
  • When your mom starts hurling abuse at you or ranting....record what she is saying...you stay calm
  • Date the sessions..by adding the date and time at the end of her rantings
  • After a while a few weeks should suffice...take the recordings to the Elders of the KH she attends explain to them that you are concerned about her mental health and play the tapes to them...DO NOT LET THEM KEEP THE TAPE unless you made a copy.

  Maybe this way they can help your mom???? Big question...but at least this way you will have recorded proof...in case your mom is mentally ill and needs medical assistance.

  Just a suggestion

  Good luck
• 

  shera

  I am sorry to hear you going threw this Nickey.No matter what the circumstances are you donot deserve to be abused.Like everyone elese said,if she is that involved with the org,she will not kill herself.You have to get out,but always let your mother know you love her.(if you can).If you have marks on you,mabey that can be away for you to prove she can have violent moments. More BIG hugs to you.... take care.
• 

  nakedmvistar

  Hey nickey, ever see the movie "Carrie"....the old version with Sissy Spacek and John Travolta.
• 

  jgnat

  Um, sorry, I have to disagree with this advice.

  After a while a few weeks should suffice...take the recordings to the Elders of the KH she attends explain to them that you are concerned about her mental health and play the tapes to them...DO NOT LET THEM KEEP THE TAPE unless you made a copy.

  Maybe this way they can help your mom???? Big question...but at least this way you will have recorded proof...in case your mom is mentally ill and needs medical assistance.

  First of all, was the recording taken with her consent? Your word with some documented (not recorded) examples of her behavour should be all you need for a mental health professional.

  Second, are the elders better trained in discerning "sin" or dealing with the mentally ill? Keep the elders out of it!
• 

  Nickey

  Thanks to everybody for the advice and kind words. I've been trying to solve or figure it out on my own for the longest time. And I guess I just reached the end of my rope. It's beginning to be too stressful for me and it's less easier to cover my emotions than before. Yelling and fighting can really wear a person down.

  It's almost like an illusion because I start to feel guilty when she's acting "normal". And I find myself making excuses saying she was just having a bad day or just loss her temper in that moment. And she'll apologize and buy me something or give me a card. That's a whole lot of guilt felt everytime she does that...

  My first priority is distancing myself so I too don't lose my mind. I'm just trying to finish school. Once I can help myself, then maybe I can help my mother. For her to know that I still love her, but it's time for me to move out like most adults do.
• 

  jgnat

  Red light! Red light! Your mother sounds like a master abuser. When the tables turn and the good child feels guilty, there are very bad things going on. Your mother will be OK on her own. Take care of yourself. It sounds like you are on the right track. I bet you will feel much better a few months from now.
• 

  Gizmo

  Second, are the elders better trained in discerning "sin" or dealing with the mentally ill? Keep the elders out of it!

  This has nothing to do with wether the elders are trained or not to deal with anything....this is just to show them that this member of their "flock" is somewhat not everything she may be appearing to be at their KH.

  And the evidence recorded would also benefit professional medical people to have a clue as to what is going on....it is highly unlikely that a person knowing they are being recorded will act the same way.....the recordings are not aimed to harm but to help.