Tonight's memorial - did you go?

by dmouse 46 Replies latest jw friends

  • mustang

    Dang, I'm slighted, too.

    I didn't get the letter in the mail about Feb. that has come for the last 2 years. Neither did my brother. It's been coming from a fellow that I used to study w/ when I was a pioneer. He fondly remmebers those days (30+ years ago) and reminds me of the old times.

    But, he sounds like a real Fundy Bible thumper. (I know about them; our 2nd KH shared a lane with a Pentecostal Church. We used to slip out on warm evenings to watch them through their open windows! Yes, they did get 'the spirit'!!!)

    He hangs around w/ my Daddy Dearest, these days. Those two are a real pair of IN YOUR FACE Dubs. They are 'Get to the Hall, do the right thing, do more, time is short' or else JW's for all its worth.

    The complaints against Dad finally got deep enough that they busted him from MS. The Elders had a discussion w/ Dad's disciple along the way. He met my brother, by coincidence and said 'no more letters'.


  • LovesDubs

    {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} to all of you, myself included, that have to even THINK about any of this. What is WRONG with this picture people? Where did Jesus say, "Fasten your seatbelts, kids, this being-a-Christian thing will be like doing Mach 4 on a Tilt O Whirl, your life, your kids, your friends, your sanity flying in all different directions. Isnt this FUN? What do you MEAN this isnt what you signed on for?? appreciation for the fine things Jehovah gave you!" NOT

    He said 'MY YOKE IS LIGHT'...and here we are sweating, crying, straining, wishing the day away while our loved ones are doing basically the same thing about US only at a HALL somewhere and we cant do any of this TOGETHER. We cant work it out together with them. We cant talk about our feelings, or spiritual things or our worries or our REAL wants and needs...our lives, our relationships hanging by a thread. There but for one badly placed comment go our marriages, our children...everything we hold dear.

    And is God doing this to us? A resounding NO!!!

    The man made organization headquartered in Brooklyn Heights, New York under the guise of being GODS has taken away everything, and is on the brink of taking whatever else it can from us.

    And there they sit, on this "holy" night, bypassing the gift that Jesus gave to all of them, excited over what? dressed up for what? listening to that Brother from Bethel speak for what? Were we all so pathetic that all but for 45 minutes of every year of our lives we looked forward to nothing else??

    My husband went. He took the three kids, they grudgingly went. I helped to dress, feed, cajole them...even took pictures, found their NWTS, kissed and hugged them all. And the sun is setting now. I know every word being said only a block away from my home. Every word...none of them being "love your family, love all people as I have loved you. Let nothing come between you."

  • Kristen


  • myMichelle

    My husband just left with my two children. I keep them away the rest of the year, but cave in on this day. I managed to keep things civil, almost pleasant in the days leading up to this, asking if he was planning on taking them. I didn't get a definitive answer until 2pm today.

    He's trying to keep up appearances, and please his family by taking them. He even asked if I wanted to go. LOL! I will not inflate their numbers tonight by going this evening, I will not lend any kind of credibility to this organization. I would have to leave before they start passing around "the emblems" any ways, I may no longer claim to be a Christian, but I refuse to participate in that farce.

    I got the children clean, dressed and ready to go. I wasn't smiling and singing, but neither was I grumbling or sulking. He had the nerve to ask me on the way out the door why I was so somber. DUH! For a smart guy he can ask some rather unwise questions, so I let him know how unhappy I was about the children going. I worry by him taking them that he is indicating that joining the Org is an acceptable thing.

    It all went downhill from there in a mere 45 seconds....I did tell him as he stepped out that I would be heartbroken if my children ever joined his cult. I suppose I'll be hearing more about this on his return tonight.

    I laugh at his insistence a year ago that it is not a cult and that he could leave any time he wanted. The latter is not a lie, I suppose, he just didn't want to acknowledge that you don't get to keep any of the relationships you have formed within the Organization.

    Frustrated, pissed, and worried now...

  • Thirdson


    You have to do what is right for you. I am lucky that I moved along way away from Witness family. I stopped attending meetings when I reached the point I thought the religion was all wrong. I didn't have a family need ever to re-attend. I hope you can keep the peace and work at leaving in ways you see fit.


    Good to see you here and battling hard for justice.

    Best wishes and hugs to you.


    Mrs Thirdson and I went to an evening meal today and just got back. I hope this doesn't sound like I am blowing my own trumpet. 230 homeless people were provided with a hot meal, drinks, fruit and desert. Meant more to me being there than at the JW thing.


    'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'

  • Francois

    My Michelle, I posted a list of cult characteristics in StillinTruth's thread, and included a little bit of information about how JWs exhibit each and every one of those characteristics. It's hard to argue with the facts without displaying a gross insensitivity to the truth.

    For dMouse and all you other folks who didn't go, you've got my support along with everyone else's. I haven't been to a memorial in over 25 years. Don't even think about it. But from time to time when I have my spiritual friends over, we will celebrate the remembrance ceremoney among ourselves. Since it's symbolic, we don't worry if the bread is leavened. Or the wine isn't kosher. We're not demonstrating our Hebrew-ness, we're demonstrating our remembering-ness.

    And it feels just FINE.

  • Esmeralda

    Some boat we're all in, eh guys? Rocky seas tonight too :(

    My heart goes out to you, luvsdubs and Michelle...I know how hard it is to get your child
    ready to go like that. I've done it for the past three years...since my ex was out of town I
    just couldn't bring myself to do it again. If he'd been here, and had his usual weekend visitation
    with her, he'd have taken her and there wouldn't have been a damned thing I could do to stop it.

    And Michelle, I know you worry about your kids being converted. Remember, little ones are very
    smart, they aren't easily fooled. They have a great example in their mom...they'll be allright.
    That goes for your kids too, Luvs...

    Interestingly, my family never left a message so if they tried to call, they must have realized
    that I was screening.

    It's over now. Their memorial was the early one. Now the fallout happens. I'm trying not to worry
    about when my ex gets back and finds out that she didn't go. I will tell him, truthfully, that I never
    talked to my family about it. That they never got in touch with me. He really can't argue with that,
    it's the truth.

    I don't know if I'll hear anything from my family about it. My grandmother is going away on a trip
    day after tomorrow, so I doubt I'll see her. My parents, I don't know when I'll see them.

    We all did the best we could do in our circumstances today. We've all gotten through it, and
    that is something to feel good about. I'm proud of all of you, guys.

    *hugs* all around,

    p.s. Thanks, Thirdson for your words: it really is a battle, isn't it?

  • myMichelle

    Thanks Es,

    I'm not incredibly worried about them being converted, but irritated that the factor is still in the equation. I could look at the bright side and hope that all of this has a reason, when they are off on their own, it will be hard for them to be taken in by any high control group. They will have had a lot of reading on the subject.

    Guess that I'm irritated that the Matriarch (the mother-in-law) got it her way again. Can't upset her afterall, just wouldn't be nice.

    Glad to hear your evening went smoothly and remember don't let your ex take out his irritation on you for not seeing her off to tonight's little ritual. He knows exactly where you stand.

    Here's hoping it's the last time my kids have to go. They grumbled the whole time, to the wrong parent, "I thought you said we didn't go to meeting anymore Mom.", etc.

    Have a good night all

  • Esmeralda
    Guess that I'm irritated that the Matriarch (the mother-in-law) got it her way again. Can't upset
    her afterall, just wouldn't be nice.

    Boy, Michelle can I relate to that. That is true in so many JW families. For all their talk about
    men being the an awful lot of families it's the mother in laws/grandmothers who
    run the show!!!

    You have a good night too, hon, I'll e mail you when I can! Goodnight!


  • eyes_opened

    Hey All,

    My husband, my boys and I did not go! We were called on a few days ago by a few folks who encouraged us to go. When the one elders wife asked me if I was going to go I said "well, probably not" She looked so flabbergasted you'd think I had just hit her upside the head :) I kinda wish I had left it like that, but being somewhat newly into the breaking away thing I had to add "yeah, I haven't been feeling well this week. I'm just getting over a cold" <which is true, I did have a cold...untrue that I'm not feeling ok now though> Boy how I wish I could lay my true thoughts and feelings out for all to see...but you know how that goes :( This is the first year since we've been married that we haven't gone at least to the memorial, so that's something at least. My mom didn't even ask if we were going, I think she was afraid of the answer. If I click my heels together three times and say there's no place like home, can I get out of this WTBTS induced quasi-nightmare land? lol...someday.................


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