Before the Internet was the world wide web, back in 1994.. or so.. I joined a mailing list called PHILIA. It was a mailing list of former XJW's. I had been out for 11 years or so. The joining was just on a whim. I had never really thought about it at that point.. I just figured that part of my life was OVER. But I joined to join in the conversation and companionship. Talking to them, I realized that I had never dealt with alot of stuff: feelings bout when I was a JW. All that stuff came to a head. In 1995, I tried to commit suicide by slicing my wrists. I was put in the hospital. The reason that I did this is because I had secretly all those years from 1981 to 1994 harbored the belief that this religion was the TRUE one. When I discovered tat it was all wrong.. I got a feeling like: This is it. Nothings worth living for and I tried tokill myself. The persons that helped through this particularly bad point in my life was all my friends from Philia... and that's the most important and special thing anyone did. One of those special persons was Kent Steinhaug, and his wife. He was on the list.. and he and the others sent me a beautiful bouquet of spring flowers and a note wishing for my best.. I'll never forget their kindness and love.
CG