Does this happen often here? (page 5)

onacruse

larc!

If my name was Bill Gates, maybe I would have put up real numbers.

Craig (of the not very good at sarcasm class)

Larc, I have that same hot button you mentioned. Those who try to equate almost everything to JW thinking etc, or WTBTS thinking, is so pathetic. What about just normal, everyday, common sense? Just because many of us have been associated in varying degrees with the JW's, doesn't mean that every aspect of our thinking abilities comes from that experience. I've mentioned this very thing on another forum, and it just irks me when I see posts equating almost everything to JW or WTBTS thinking. So ridiculous.

I've personally known of individuals who've been helped by members of this forum, done privately, out of the goodness of their hearts. Some who were not able to afford to go to the March in New York were approached and offered assistance, plane tickets, etc but all done by offers made and not by asking or begging for handouts. The joy of helping others as we see fit and can afford to is a wonderful thing done by many, and it has nothing to do with JW this or that. So, when people equate common sense thinking to JW-hood, I simply shake my head and try to ignore their ignorance. Some just don't get it, and it's their problem, not mine.

Iwasyoungonce

Lin

What about just normal, everyday, common sense?

That you would use words like normal common sense and Jehovah Witness thinking. I just have to bring it up. WHMO

Jesika

Lin,

Thank you for looking out for me, but I don't have any money to give anyone. I have been talking with Yizuman via email and I believe he is in a bind. I also think he went over-board by asking for money. I emailed him about that and asked him to apologize to Simon and to retract the request for money cause it was wrong to do so.

I honestly think he was just paniced about loosing his home and did something without thinking, which was asking everyone on the forum for cash.

I have said things here that I wish I could take back, and I hope everyone here will understand this was a mistake and let it go.

I also want to say thank you to those who have given Yizuman suggestions on how to help his situation.

Sincerely,

Jesika

Yizuman

Lin,
Thank you for looking out for me, but I don't have any money to give anyone. I have been talking with Yizuman via email and I believe he is in a bind. I also think he went over-board by asking for money. I emailed him about that and asked him to apologize to Simon and to retract the request for money cause it was wrong to do so.
I honestly think he was just paniced about loosing his home and did something without thinking, which was asking everyone on the forum for cash.
I have said things here that I wish I could take back, and I hope everyone here will understand this was a mistake and let it go.
I also want to say thank you to those who have given Yizuman suggestions on how to help his situation.
Sincerely,
Jesika

Thanks Jesika.

I do thank for all the suggestions everyone has given me.

AGuest

Okay... I guess it's my "turn" again...

May you ALL have peace!

Kingman, peace to you and and please know that I did leave the thread, albeit quite reluctantly, though I don't know if "early". I had a bit of life to attend to, and unfortunately, it took precedence. As for missing my "chance" to put my beliefs into practice, I have to say that (1) NOT doing so would show me to be quite the hypocrite, wouldn't it, and (2) I was unaware that the deadline expired last night... or that those here (like you) would have some way of knowing what I did... or didn't do... one way or the other... at this particular point. Oh, and I am a "she", just so's ya know...

Larc, my dear one... peace to you and please know that I meant no offense, to you, Lin or anyone else here. Unfortunately, however, the "truth" does tend to offend... sometimes. If telling the truth makes you or anyone else no longer consider me "friend" (if you at any time did), well... what can I say? Okay. So be it. With regard to your statements, however, you said:

For a person to be cautious in handing out money is just good sense, no matter their background.

And I absolutely agree. However, for someone to IMPLY that someone else is dishonest, without knowing whether or not that is true... is slander. And it is judgmental. Lin was entitled to her opinion that perhaps caution should be used. But that is not what she posted. I ask you, go back and read her post again, please, if you will. It was not a post of caution... it was one of judgment... and alarm. And apparently, wrongly so.

You also said:

Since coming here two years ago, I have helped four people, which is four more than I helped when I was a JW. In all four cases, I knew the people well, and I knew their circumstances

But truly, that was YOUR choice, wasn't it? And aren't there people who would say that even with someone well known to you, you shouldn't have helped? And that is THEIR opinion, yes?

In none of the four cases did they ask me for help.

Which implies, to me... in the likeness of the responses here as well as the practices of the WTBTS... that it is only those who DON'T ask... who really NEED... or DESERVE... help. Yes? Well, unfortunately, as a christian, I know for a fact that my Lord indeed helped those who ASKED him, as well as those who didn't. He did not "shut the door of his tender compassion" on any, no matter whether they approached him... or he, they. If, then, I am to be LIKE him... to the best of my ability, how can I do any differently?

Now, am I saying that all should help the poster? No, for in fact, I even said to Lin that if she couldn't help... then that was entirely up to her. My point? Just as I stated to Lin: all should do whatever they are compelled to do. And those who don't feel compelled shouldn't attempt to stop others from doing so by 'slandering' someone they have no TRUE knowledge of one way or the other. To do so is... well, quite 'foul', truly.

Dearest Valis/DOBeer... peace to you, as well.

My dear one, I have to let you... and several others here know... that you do not have the "market" on poverty. So, I will tell you all a story. It is very dear to me... and very true; not one part is false. (Taking DEEP breath...) Okay, here goes:

When my youngest was about 4 months old (20 years ago), I had a "falling out" with my ex, with my father, with my best girlfriend... and with my boss. Why? Because I began studying with Jehovah's Witnesses. The result? Eventually, we became estranged, my father (the son of a baptist minister) wouldn't speak to me, my girlfriend told me to choose between her and "them"... and I was terminated because I wasn't a "team player" (didn't make the Xmas party, etc.). All of this left me... well, destitute, as well as... family/friendless (my mother was aleady dead). No job, no money, no family, no friends... hmmm... what to do?

Took kids and went to live with mother's sister in New York. Stopped "studying" because, well, didn't know anyone there and really thought that all of this "bad luck" was the result of it. Things were great in New York, for close to a year: got along well with Aunt/Cousins... had GREAT job... good babysitter. Gave my aunt all of money to (1) pay rent and (2) "save" for me to get my own place (her suggestion). Yep, all was going well... until a JW "sister" knocked on the door... and I talked to her. She gave me the PE book. No problem. Until my aunt asked me, "Why was that woman here?" She had come home from work and saw the woman leaving the door. I told her that I had been speaking with her... and for the first time, told her what I had learned. And oh, LORD... all Hell broke loose!

For about a month, my life turned to Hell: my aunt called ALL of my mom's family (okay... there were 17 children!!), including my grandfather... and all tried to talk me out of studying. And I really wasn't go gung-ho about continuing, until my grandfather... who's never gave me more than a harsh word in all the days I knew him... and certainly never a gift of any kind... told me that "we" were Lutherans, and if I didn't leave those folks alone, I would be disowned by that side of my family... and completely forgotten. All would be forbidden to speak to me! (Now, this was a "big whoop" to me, as most of them hadn't seem me since my mom's funeral, and about 15 years before that! My siblings and I grew up in Cali...).

Okay, well, so I guess you know what happened next: I could no longer stay with my aunt. How she made that CLEAR... was a trip: she came up to me one day, and with the money I had saved, gave me one-way tickets for me and my children... back to Cali. Oh, wait... and NOT to San Diego, either... but to Los Angeles (since the tickets were for the VERY next day... it cost all I had saved! Well, that minus what she took out for the next month's rent... as she "needed it".) So, I found myself in the Los Angeles airport one fine day, with a baby, a young child... and one suitcase (which only had baby stuff in it.) My daughter and I had only what we could wear... as I didn't have time to pack... nor the ability carry many suitcases... or the desire... 'cause I didn't know where I was going... or how.

Okay, so now I'm stuck in LA... how to get to San Diego? Called father... told him story... told me "I told you to leave those people (JWs) alone. I have to work, can't come get you." Called girlfriend. "Nope, sorry, can't do it... gotta work. Wish you had let me know... (heck, I didn't know!). Finally, called "ex". Argggh! Yes, he came... reluctantly. In the meantime, he had moved back in with his mom...

So, now, back in 'Diego... where to live... me and kids? Father says, "No, sorry, girlfriend ain't havin' it..." Ex says "No, sorry, Moms ain't havin' it..." Girlfriend says, "You, sure, but not kids. Landlord won't allow it." So... know where we went? Salvation Army. Know where we ate? Soup kitchens. For almost a month. And you know what? At the soup kitchens, NEVER did one meal pass where the adult men wouldn't push me and my kids to the FRONT of the line... and give my baby their milk or my daughter their cookies/cake. Never. And they didn't know ME... from Adam. On occasion, one or two would give me some change... or a dollar, etc., and say "this is for the baby/little girl."

But then... my time at the Salvation Army was up. They only give you two weeks... and they had, out of pity, extended my little family's time... to four weeks... but could no more. Now what to do? (Taking deep breath)... I put my kids... my LIFE... up for adoption! Well, not exactly. I didn't know where to go or what to do... so I called an agency... who agreed to place them in foster care "temporarily" until I found housing/employment. Since my girlfriend could house me... but not my kids... I felt I had no choice. And so... I took them... and left them. And it was THE longest, hardest, most terrifying four weeks of my LIFE! Nothing I knew before had EVER effected me that way... nor nothing since... save when my son almost died at age 10. But those are the only two "tragedies" that are of any significance to me; all the rest is "small stuff". ALL the rest.

Anyway, during the four weeks, I must have gone on a zillion interviews: but I had a "transportation" problem, since I had no car. Now, you all might think "bus"... but there was NO way I could get one kid to a sitter, one to school... and still get to work... without waking them at 3am and getting home around midnight. Or it seemed so.

So... what did I do? I do what every other TRULY desperate person does: I prayed... and I ASKED for help. The result? By the second week that my kids were "gone" (ouch! My Lord knows that hurts, still!) by the third week, I got a GOOD job. By the fourth week, I bought a little raggedy car... and when they came back... I told my father that I didn't care what his girlfriend thought... or he thought, for that matter... I was moving in. I told him that I would pay his mortgage (which I did, as it was the same as what rent would've cost me - but he never used it; he saved it, and within 2 months, I was back out, in my own place...).

My POINT? That you all don't have the market on tragedy, on poverty... or on desperation. This is only ONE "story": I am female, African American, former single mother... who was molested at age 3-4 by a 10-year-old boy, physically abused by an alcoholic stepmother (yes, to the point of hospitalization), lost my own mother first to abandonment at age 6, then to death at age 18, had my first child at age 18... almost lost my son when he was 10... AND I am a former JW. Dear ones... I have a TON of stories! But... they are ALL fairly irrelevant with regard to my true life. Most of the tragedies were due to the actions or inactions of someone else... and I don't carry someone elses "guilt" around: I don't even carry my own, anymore.

But the bottom line is... when I was MOST desperate, it was NOT those who "knew" me who helped me. THOSE folks... well, let's just say the tables all turned and I have since had the PRIVILEGE of being there for ALL of them when they needed it... without any remorse at all... praise JAH! I was not angry (the girlfriend, who I've known 31 years, and I just had dinner together two weeks ago, when she came here on a business trip - we still speak and I still consider her my "sister"). But I was saddened because of the "type" of hearts they had... just as I am saddened by those here: hearts that are small... and hard.

No, it was people who KNEW what it felt like to be in "need" (just as many of you here say you know...), and couldn't stand seeing someone else endure that feeling. It is called PITY, dear ones... and COMPASSION. And for those of you who lack such, I must tell you, you learned such lack MORE from the WTBTS... than you EVER did from the "world". For the world will at least TRY; the WTBTS, however... always... ALWAYS... "begs off."

And dear, dear JC... peace to you and please know that "discerning"... is NOT the same... as judging.

Again, I bid you ALL peace... as well as ears to hear... and HEARTS... to feel.

YOUR servant and a slave of Christ,

SJ

Edited by - AGuest on 8 December 2002 20:58:36

Jesus Christ

Eh, judge, discern, if it comes out of my butt and stinks you can call it whatever you want but I'll still call it poo.

Well, either that or a hamster.

AGuest

if it comes out of my butt and stinks... I'll still call it poo.

Of course you would...

Well, either that or a hamster.

Er? Oh, you meant gerbil... yeah, I'm not surprised. (Note: Next time you wanna be sarcastic, see my responsive post regarding being silent and thought a fool, versus opening the mouth and removing all doubt... first. K?)

Peace.

SJ

Jesus Christ

see my responsive post regarding being silent and thought a fool, versus opening the mouth and removing all doubt.

What, the bible wasn't enough to make me look like an idiot? Have you read some of the crazy shit that's in there? Yeah, dad and I just pulled human out of our butts one day, that's likely. They'd never fit up there! Hamsters, yes. Humans, no.

AGuest

the bible wasn't enough to make me look like an idiot?

You mean in the plethora of places where it where talks about "the stupid one"? Nah, that's nothing compared to what you're doing here, your own self, dear JC. Tell you what: just go to bed. It's way past your bed time anyway, and your "idiocy" is showing a bit more than usual, so you most probably really won't "like" yourself in the morning... (not that you seem to now...)

'Nite-nite...

SJ

Does this happen often here?

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