people df'd for having sex

by placebo_apothecary 37 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  MrMoe

  placebo - In my judical meeting, I cried my eyes out... did no good... was DF'd anyhow.

  You say you don't need to heal. Tell me this then. Did all of this, the whole JW thing, the DFing, the premarital sex, did it cause you pain? Does it still cause you pain? Yes. So sweetie, you DO need to heal. Regardless if the injury is physical or emotional, pain inflicts injury, and in turn, the only way to overcome that which ails us is to stop picking the sore, soothe it, and hope the scars aren't too severe. If you catch it soon enough, you will barely even see a scar.

  Emotional injury is the worst. All of my life, I have been subject to all sorts of not-so-lovely things, but the emotinal pain hurt so bad, buried it so deep, and in the end it made a far worse impact on me than anything somebody could have done to me on the exterior.

  You can't get over the BS until you recognize the fact YOU were a victim and you WERE. But, you don't have to play the victim anymore. Be it the JW's or your love life, what you decide to do with those in your life is up to you.

  Do I know your whole story? Nope, don't care to ask either. I used to say I don't need to heal, too. I used to think I was just peachy. Take a look at my posts over the past year. You will see when I first left the borg, I was a total nutcake. Still am to a degree, because healing is a lifelong process. But, this past year, with that magic word called healing, so much guilt and anger has subsided.

  I can help you, we can help you... if you want us to. It's your choice, and you will make it when you are ready.

  Edited by - MrMoe on 4 December 2002 23:10:2
• 

  LB

  Some guys, guys not nearly as manly as myself have a need to heal even. I don't know if I would trust such a guy. But I hear it happens.

  I hear it takes quite awhile too. Lots of denial will come first. I went through an extended angry stage after figuring out that I had bought a bowl of lies for several years. I was angry at them, then very angry at myself. Very depressed.

  I'm glad to hear you are feeling better. Stick around. There are many women here that will fully understand your issues and concerns.

  I'll just be clicking through the threads looking for bikini pictures. Seeya all later.
• 

  OUTLAW

  Df`d for sex? The WBTS has a double standard on this issue. They have been screwing their own members for over 100 years...OUTLAW
• 

  Kingpawn

  Placebo,

  i feel like im just waisting my time when i could really be doing something valuable but how do i know what im doing today will be valuable tomorrow.

  If you're asking this in the sense of, will it be of valuable to the world in general, then it's not easy to answer.

  If you're asking in the sense of, is it valuable to you, the answer is: if it brings you pleasure, or relief, or joy, or knowledge...something beneficial...then yes, it's valuable.

  But i've always believed that if i had the balls to do what i did then i should have the balls to deal with any of the consequences.

  That's the mature reaction and a commendable one. Sometimes though we overestimate how well we'll handle things when the bad aftereffects do come about. Or the situation comes with angles and consequences we didn't expect. Maybe someone/thing we counted on for support backs out/isn't as secure as we thought...like a job offer that is rescinded, when we counted on it to support our decision to change jobs on moral grounds, for example.

  So in this regard I think you can cut yourself some slack.

  I guess none of what I'm really saying makes as much sense as it does when you know the whole story.

  It's something we all do too easily. We forget that just because we lived it, not everyone else knows it that well. Important stuff can get left out.
• 

  heyfea

  placebo_apothecary,

  First of all, I want to tell you to PLEASE relax. You may feel that you lost something, but in reality, it wasn't you who lost anything, it was your JW friends and family who lost YOU, can't you see? And maybe your partner is right, JWS DID ruined your life. But is not your fault!

  I understand that Jesus' followers should lead an excellent moral life, but it is up to God to judge us, not other human beings. If you're living La Vida Loca, sleeping with this guy and that one and so on and so forth....then I would say worry, but not about what people say, worry about what God thinks of you. If, on the other hand, you are not married with your current partner but are absolutely monogamus, then....you are OK.

  Don't sweat it
• 

  czarofmischief

  Two girls, at the same time. Can't say I do things halfway, eh? heh heh heh...

  BTW, if any two new-age hippie style free love chicks want to hookup for the magic beanbag bounce, give Czar a head... sup....

  Hee hee hee...

  Czar of the menage-a-trois class [a little known subset of the modern day antitypical Jacob class]
• 

  Abaddon

  I had sex, but wasn't df'd.

  Then I had more sex, but as I was way inactive by then, it's never been an issue with my family (Dubs one and all), and I don't hang around KH's.

  This new hunting down inactive one's though, if they could find me, would be interesting. I'd love a JC, I really would...
• 

  SheilaM

  AP:

  Listen to Moe and the others PLEASEThey have been there. We left on our own but my hubby grew up in the Dub's and he battles the programming a lot. It takes time, just like anything that damages you or you lose you''ll go through guilt/being mad/being ok and back to guilt again or mad again, that is what heals you. Also TALK about it we are all here and more than happy to talk to you. You sound very young and that is confusing enoughI'm 39 err almost and still find life a mystery but ya know that is also what makes it fun. I've said this before and will again we all have baggage just carry yours BEHIND you instead of in front and that way you can meet the world face to face instead of through the baggage OK

  Be at Peace AP