after so long....

by 30years 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • outnfree

    God Bless You and Welcome, 30!

    S-L-O-W and easy really does seem to be the theme here, doesn't it? And I add my voice to the throng advising you NOT to follow your urge to tell all the other suffering 'friends' how misguided their loyalty is. (I only told one, and while I ended up disassociating myself, I would MUCH rather have faded away without the shunning.) Also, I think stephen is correct: "Time served" as a Witness is a prolonged education. It's what you do with that experience from now on that counts.

    Welcome also to Truman and teraly.
    I'm rather new, too, but I know you all will feel quickly at home here as you move away from the Society and find out just what your own truths are.


  • Had Enough
    Had Enough

    Hi 30 years:

    Glad to have you join us. I too have been raised in the org. for a little over 40 years. I know how good I felt after I finally took the plunge and joined in after "lurking" here for a couple of weeks. I needed answers, (and I still do) and I just couldn't hold it in any longer and the dam just burst. But boy did I feel relieved when I received such a warm welcome. So just want to add my welcome to you to this family.

    You've already received much sound advice like I did and I've found it already helping me.

    I know that I just have to take my time with my family who are still locked in even though I'm just bursting inside to say something. Any kind of pushing on my part will just make them clam up so I just bide my time.

    At least here you can talk to people who have been through this or are still going through it and you'll just feel better having someplace to talk, cry, vent, question, whatever.

    Looking forward to hearing things from the perspective of another elder (former).

    I too have,
    Had Enough

  • mole

    30 years, your new post pretty well sums up my situation as well. About a year ago my mother who is well entrenched in the org. came over to chastise me about my association with my Df'd dad. She had threatened to advise the elders if my association with him did not cease. That was really the final straw. For years I felt that something was not right with this religion. Every where I looked I saw broken families, mental breakdowns, and power hungry bodies of elders telling me I'm not a spiritual person, only to find out recently these very elders have been brought down by various scandals. At this point I started to question various doctrine such as disfellowshipping and began to search various sites on the web. What I found was very eye opening and I soon ordered the Franz book Crisis of Conscience. I found Ramond Franz's book to be well written and informitive, not at all what I had pictured since the WTS tries its darndest to innoculate its R&F from apostate material painting them as vicious revenge seekers with an axe to grind.
    I have shared some of my findings with my wife, however she would rather turn her head and pretend that these problems do not exist. She feels that if we attend more meetings Jahs spirit will be upon us and these feelings will fade with time. I know her intentions are good, but I don't see this hapening at least in my case. I have two young daughters that I do not want growing up as I had to and it is difficult when you have a mother who wants to brainwash them everytime they go to see her when we are not around.
    I agreed to go to the meeting last night with the wife as the CO was in town. It's pretty amazing to see who crawls out of the woodwork to attend meetings and go out in service when he is in town, when on sunday we are lucky to get 60 people in a new KH designed to seat about 150. My wife was irritated with me and said I had a smug look on my face as I sat through the meeting, its hard to sit there and listen anymore with a smile on my face.
    I guess for now I'll just bide my time and read all the interesting posts.

  • Gopher


    Welcome aboard! You strike on some very familiar themes: The harshness of shunning, the hypocrisy of judgmental elders, the damning of those (like Ray Franz) who leave, and the CYA mentality of those who come out of the woodwork to be noticed during the C.O. visit.

    It seems that there is a "threshhold" that people cross once they have found out the truth about "the truth". You have crossed that threshhold, and there is no turning back.

    Please continue to post & read here. You'll find support! You face a hard situation, and isn't it good to know you won't have to do it alone!


  • unanswered

    30 years, i just wanted to add my welcome to all the others. i hope you can find something helpful here. looking forward to your perspective on topics-nate.

  • Had Enough
    Had Enough

    To Mole:

    Welcome to the family too Mole! You too will find much satisfaction here from finally getting answers that make sense. No more "well just accept it because the powers that be say so and Jehovah will make it clear later". How many times I heard that I could scream!

    Lots of us are new here and have told there story. We all have one. But we certainly don't get told to not ask questions, or we'll be booted out. The answers are here. Someone's always been there already and can at least offer support while you work things out for yourself. Question away! And keep us posted as to your progress (even if there is none for awhile post anyway!)

    Had Enough

  • hippikon

    Yippi Another Mole. Welcome.

  • riz

    30years, mole, all other new ones,

    Welcome aboard! I am looking forward to hearing more from all of you. Don't be afraid to speak up. This isn't the kingdom hall.
    I am proud to be a part of this happy "family" and I hope you all stick around to enjoy the benefits of experience and wisdom that all of the people on this forum contribute.


  • jst2laws

    Thirty years, Truman,Terally and Mole,

    I too just started posting a little over a week ago. I’m still serving as an elder, unless the CO gets his way. That’s a story to tell when the dust settles. But we all have interesting stories. I just wanted to suggest we are careful of two things:

    1 We cannot share what we learn here with anyone local. You have probably already read several disaster stories due to that. I have been dropping little clues on my wife such as, “why do you think it is that we don’t baptize in the ‘name of the father, the son and the holy spirit’?”

    2 My second concern you may not subscribe to. Accepting reality does not mean loosing God. Some here have doubts even about God. As you have observed, however, nearly all are kind and concerned. I personally belief I have learned a lot of good from the WT society. It stimulated me far beyond my Baptist experience. But now we see what we have been drawn into and we are looking for ways to get back out. But getting out does not mean we leave spirituality. I believe, as others have proven, we can back away as more spiritual persons than we have ever been. Bible reading, prayer and your personal relationship with God should actually improve because now all the wrong motives are removed and you are walking away from ‘dead works’.

    This is just theory considering it is coming from a 35 year dupe who hasn’t left yet.

  • BadAssociate

    hi 30 and all other newbies - i think the good thing about a place like this is that it breaks the mentally isolated stranglehold that the wtbts likes to keep its members in

    and reading the posts u begin to realise that u are not alone in experiencing the doubts fears and concerns etc you have with the wtbts

    which is the absolute last thing the wtbts wants to happen because it means lose of power and control over u

    but then i am probably not telling u anything new


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