after so long....

by 30years 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • 30years

    This is my first post in any network such as this. I have been "lurking" around the "apostate" sites for the last year or so. I am glad I have! I have discovered a lot of things that the WTS doesn’t want us to know. As my username implies, I've been around the WTS for a long time. During the last year I have educated myself concerning the history of the WTS. It was devastating to realize how many years I have wasted. I gave my whole life to that organization. I have recently stepped down from serving as an elder. (that really raised some eyebrows) Reflecting on that position has left a bad taste in my mouth. To think I was defending all that BS the WTS was feeding us. My whole family is firmly entrenched in the “truth” something I guess I can thank myself for. (sigh) I haven’t told anyone as yet how I feel or what exactly I’m going to do since I appear to others as “weakening” in my “zeal”. I still love the friends very much. All that a lot of them need is a little information that will help them think a little and realize that things are not so “peachy keen” with the WTS.
    I love my dear wife very much, but she doesn’t know how I feel yet. It will devastate her. All my children are grown and away making me grandchildren:-) I guess I will let things alone for the time being and see what develops. For now I’ll just try and fade off into "inactivity". Hopefully the elders and others will chalk it up to spiritual weakness and not come around asking questions. Anyway, I’m here reading all your posts. It’s comforting to know that all you “apostates” are really good people. (grin)

  • Farkel

    Welcome to this board. My only suggestion is one you probably already know. Take everything very slowly and don't do anything rash. It is a sad and common mistake for many who've discovered stuff about the WTS they didn't know existed to want to share it with other JWs. As a former elder you must know that oftentimes that can mean disaster.

    There are many who've been in your situation who can offer timely advice. I just faded away and was never shunned by my family, so my situation is different from yours.

    Again, welcome.


  • terraly


    Welcome to the board, I'm fairly new here myself, at least to posting, though I've been lurking for a while.

    I guess truman just posted for the first time today, and the thread "I hope this is a friendly place" has a lot of good advice about how to take things slowly with your family/friends.

    Don't blame yourself for getting your family involved- but don't blame the Watchtower too much either. Granted, they deserve the blame, but it's important not to dwell too much on it.

  • TR

    Welcome, 30.

    I'm looking forward to hearing about your insight into the WTS as an elder.


  • truman

    Hi 30years,

    I just made my first post today too. It has also been nearly 30 years for me. I do not know where I am going, but I cannot go back. At least not in my thinking and knowledge, although I will have to go back to the KH probably for some time. I have good days and bad days. Right now, the difficult ones are prevailing, as I am caught in a nether world of neither in nor out. Having an outlet to speak about my concerns, even one I just began tonight has already lifted my spirits. I hope it will do the same for you.

  • larc

    Welcome 30years,

    If you haven't already, you might want to look at the comments given to Truman, on his thread "I hope this is a friendly place"

    Best Wishes

  • thinkers wife
    thinkers wife

    Welcome Thirty and Terraly,
    Thirty, I wish you were my Dad!!!! It would make my life so much easier. I was raised as a witness and now am experiencing the fall-out of no longer being one. With the majority of my family still in. It is a tough road you have before you, but it sounds like there is no going back for you.
    Take care of yourself and enjoy the freedom of speech here.

  • Prisca


    It's hard being in the org when you want to get out so much. When I started to learn about the Society, I tried to give it a year, hoping it would get better some how. It didn't.

    I was raised in the org, family are still in, all of my friends were witnesses. Was a typical "good Witness girl" (yes, really!)

    At some point you will have to make a decision. But take your time, and I hope your wife will be understanding of you.

  • Angharad

    Hi 30 years, terraly & truman, your all very welcome.

    30: I'm sure all find a lot of support here.

  • hippikon

    Hi and welcome. Im only new too but I bet you never got a welcome like this at the KH. Lay Low & Stay Kool.

    You will receive your orders in due course.

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