by DIAMOND 23 Replies latest jw friends
Is it even remotly possible that a marriage can work if the wife is a JW and the husband who has been one for over 30 years is on his way out. Is there any advice on how this can work or is it just doomed for DIVORCE!!!! I love my wife and kids but she's not handeling this very well at all. Am I just stupid to think this can work?
diamond
True love can overcome anything. It doesn't mean however that it won't be difficult with drastic different viewpoints regarding the WTS.
It might mean that religious things are just not talked about.
Freedom, You are right. Things seem to go relativley well unitl something about the truth is brought up then all hell breaks loose.
The sad part is is no a great marriage to begin with and this is just another added distraction.
diamond
Hi Diamond: A close friend of mine was a JW for over 30 years, past PO, etc. He left the organization about the time I did. he and his wife remain together and appear happy. He is a well known 'apostate' and continues to particiapte in ex-JW activities (except the Internet) ... so, at least in their case, it works ... and that in spite of the fact that his wife is a loyalist to the Society, and the local Elders did at one time badger her about staying with her husband. he has been out ten years now, and they are still together the last I heard a few months ago. Hope that helps.
I'm going through that now. It hasn't been that long for me, only married 4 years. I left the borg 6 months ago. Divorce will be final in March.
Thing is now we are wondering if we should get back together. We still love each other. There are many reason why we should stay together and many reason why we should stay apart. Its all so confusing. In your situation, after 30 years I think you can make it. You have a long history together and watched each other grow. With us, Its hard because we are both young and still have a chance of finding that person who can be what the other person wants, A Dub for her and a non-dub for me.
It will be a struggle either way though. I wish you the best of luck.
Truthseeker,
I've been a jw for 30 years. We've only been married 7. So we haven't been together that long. Thats why I feel we are going to end up divorcing.
diamond
How sad to think that your entire relationship hangs on the dead meetings and ministry
of the organization.
Take it slow. Try not to engage in debates or arguments. Do things together you both
enjoy. Perhaps if you are a better husband now, it may shut the mouths of others -
and relieve your wife's concerns. Hide all your 'apostate' leanings and activities
and just quietly fade away. Tell everyone you are 'depressed' - even Witnesses will
pick that up and repeat it mindlessly, covering the situation.
On the other hand, only you can decide if the marriage is worth saving.
metatron
Wow. I don't feel so alone. I am in the same situation except me nor my husband have ever been baptized...but he is just a adamant as a baptized JW. I'm sure it won't be too much longer til he takes the plunge. I stopped going to the meetings back in Jan. We never really inforced too much of the doctrine with our children (they are only 6 and 4) and really only went one year without doing any holidays, taking down pics with crosses, stopped being involved with politics, etc...but it seems that since I have turned my back on "the truth" he has really gotten a lot more determined to indoctrinate our children with their beliefs. He has agreed to let us do the whole holiday things this year but at the same time tells the kids that Jehovah doesn't like such things. While my 4 year old hardly understands any of this, my 6 year old is very confused.
I don't want to get a divorce, but I really don't know what else to do. I don't want my kids to be so confused and I don't want them to worry that they are offending Jehovah every time they do something as simple as having "worldly" friends or say "god bless you" when someone sneezes. This just seems like a ridiculous situation to be in, you know? I don't really have a problem with my hub being a dub (dubhub...LOL) but I do having a problem with him screwing with the kids minds and the prospect of them having a simple and normal life. Does that make sense?
Gosh, I feel like I've just hijacked your thread. Sorry about that. Just want you to know, that you are not alone...and unfortunately, I have no answer for you either. I wish you the best and hope everything works out okay for ya!
BTW, Do you guys have kids?
Bona
It will work if you both want it to and try to make it work. If it is just one trying and the other giving up, then nothing is going to make it work.
My thought
Dragon
Thank you all for the replys.Metatron you are exactly right. Everyword. I think I will use the depressed thing becasue I know that will work. All my apostate learnings are done at work. I look up a few at home and she gets upset so I'll just stop that part.
Bona...You didn't hijack my thread. Its always good to hear from people that are in the same situation that I am in and I wish you the best in yours too.
Dragon..You are right. She says she wants it to work out and so do I but this JW thing seems to be bigger than both of us. But we are both going to try.
Diamond
