JW Code and Silent Lambs

by Goodboy 44 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • Goodboy
    Goodboy

    I have been busy for the past few weeks and finally got around to reading the thread containing Bill Bowen's latest letter to the Governing Body. Apparently the SilentLambs march didn't go exactly as some folks would have liked. Apparently the GB just locked the gates and ignored them. Correct me if I'm wrong, I haven't dug through all the posts...

    Before I get to the question of the letter itself, theres something I've always wanted to do. I want to suggest a system of reference:

    There are two ways you came to the truth:

    - (R)aised (born into, etc)
    - (F)ound (at the door, by a friend, etc.)

    I mention this first because it CANNOT BE CHANGED. Let's use the term, 'R' for Raised and 'F' for Found. (I've seen this topic discussed elsewhere, but I only scanned through it). The point is; you are either a Raised or a Found--forever. You cannot change your status.

    R's will generally have a pain that the F's cannot understand-- or so they tell themselves. Raised ones will always believe they would not have been duped at the door. They wonder how the Founds got trapped. The Raised feel like more-seriously violated victims, especially the female ones (in whose case, its pretty correct).

    F's will generally feel a greater private guilt (especially males who had/have responsibility). They are secretly embarrassed that they got tricked. They seek each other out to discuss the matter or they rationalize it to them and move on. The R's do not and cannot understand this embarrassment or shame. They have no frame of reference for it.

    I'm an R, just so you know. Gave my first talk at age 5 (sitting down, facing my dad like the sistas do). Baptized at age 15 (already losing faith, but was in love with a Pioneer girl (an R) who required it of me).

    The next classes can ALL BE CHANGED. Pay attention...

    Currently, you are one of three groups:

    - (C)urrent JW (baptized)
    - (X)-JW (was baptized, now DF'd, DA'd, Shunned, etc.)
    - (A)ssociates of either.

    Let's use the codes 'C' for Current, 'X' for X-JW, and 'A' for Associates.

    C's can only be reasoned with at the most basic level. They are not thinking properly, plain and simple, but there is definite hope for them.

    X's are the champions, either by force or by situation. They are cut off and on their own. At this point in history, they are Pioneers in the true sense. X's spend a considerable portion of their time supporting C's as those ones ask questions and struggle with the enormity of abandoning an entire life-system. They also spend a lot of time explaining this madness to their friends, who are A's.

    A's are simply bewildered by all of this. They cannot comprehend it, but they are often fascinated by it. Most C's and X's wish they could be A's (including me, I guess).

    I'm an X. Hung around to get my bearings and save my wife, finally walked my DA letter over and handed it to the congregation P.O. My wife and I are out now, friends living separately and fully enjoying our lives. I'm proud of my accomplishments, but would just as soon have met her now and fallen in love with her at age 29 than to have had to salvage our love at such a cost of pain and suffering.

    Finally, there is one another major class-distinction and it's the BIGGEST one. You are currently either:

    - (B)eliever in God (specifically, a God who gives a damn)
    - (U)nbeliever (in a God who gives a damn)
    - (N)ot Sure

    This is where a lot of stickiness comes into play. Before I discuss it, let's solidify the JW Code:

    Goodboy is an RXU (Raised, X-JW, Unbeliever)
    Vivamus is an FXN (Found, X-JW, Not Sure) --Viv, correct me if I'm wrong.
    My mom is an FCN (Found, Current JW, Not Sure if God gives a damn) --Mom, give me a call, willya?

    Before we can discuss any topic, I think we should identify ourselves with a code like this. It quickly gives the person to whom we are speaking a convenient frame of reference while not demeaning anyone. We are all interested in JW issues, but we are all very different.

    How can a RXB discuss the issue of homosexuality with an RXU? One of them believes in Paul's writings, and the other does not. Yet both of them were raised as JW's and are now being shunned. Shouldn't they be able to sit and talk about their common issues? This code will enable them to respectfully discuss the issues they have in common.

    (BTW, If you do not know someone's status in one of the classes, just substitute an asterisk, '*' in the appropriate column. In referring to Ray Franz, I could say he's a "*XB" because I don't recall if his parents were JW's. Bill Bowen would also be a *XB for the same reason.)

    Having done that, and speaking as a RXU, I can say that there are many people I love who are still *CB's. They are beyond my reach, yet I love the memory of the person who was inside them. Understand; this is the only reason I am even here on this message board. I am quite happy to walk away from the Watchtower forever.

    So how do we reach those people? And how do we "Protect the Children" (a politically worthless but nonetheless valid ideal)?

    Well, in regard to Bill Bowen's actions, let me just say this: He is engaged in a chess game. The only difference is that the pieces each weigh a hundred pounds for Bill, and they are effectively weightless for the Watchtower. Lawyers are nothing to them. Not only do they have the money to afford Johnny Cochran, they have an elite law corps, raised, trained, (molested?) by them. How can one win such a game when one cannot even lift the pieces?

    Ray Franz slowly learned how the gameboard was set up. A couple differences about Ray: (A) he was the observer to the things about which he wrote, and (B) he was the Thousand-Pound-Gorilla in regard to his credibility. The man was a member of the Governing Body, for goodness sake. He still knew he couldn't win the game so he wrote a brilliant essay on the matter, tossed it on the gameboard and walked away.

    Enter Bill Bowen, a 'Nobody'. An anonymous elder from some backwoods Kentucky congregation, who somehow managed to get Connie-Freaking-Chung to expose some seriously heinous goings-on (on primetime TV no less!) within the JW membership and also how the organization tried to hide it. Well done, William. You have ALREADY succeeded beyond anyone's wildest dreams. Not to mention the fact that you've helped two really sweet girls (and hundreds of other folks, both male and female through the website) tell their story of abuse to the world.

    Bill Bowen has no lawyers. Those of you who mumble, "This now should be handled by lawyers" should dig deep into your pockets to pay for such legal services or shut the hell up. Plain and simple. As my dad (an FCN disguised as an ex-uber-elder who stepped down long ago to deal with his rebellious son but never stepped back up once the son was gone) used to say, "If you're not suggesting a better solution, you're just a whiner." How much have you donated to the Silentlambs legal fund through PayPal? So you drove/flew to New York and were disappointed. Give us a break.

    Bobby Fischer is the greatest verifiable chess player in history. His games against 'superior' chessmasters are analyzed to this day, especially his game at age 13 against Grandmaster Donald Byrne, commonly referred to as "The Game of the Century". When he was a child, he lost a few initial encounters with the world's best, but he always came back to beat them soundly and permanently. In analyzing his games, chess players will often comment, "That move is the _wrong_ move!" yet Bobby Fischer understood gameplay in its truest form. The ultimate rule in chess and in any game is this: Play the board when you face a weaker opponent, but play the player when you know he's stronger than you. Men are predictable and if you understand their patterns, their size and strength become non-issues.

    My point:

    You aren't Bill Bowen and you aren't sitting at the gameboard. Remain silent until the game is done. Moves, which make no sense, become "Brilliant" if the game is won. I don't know how good Bill Bowen is at chess, but I know brilliant moves when I see them. Here's hoping he (or the next guy/gal) brings the 'tower crashing to the ground because I'll be the first one sifting through the wreckage for the people I loved and still love.

    Goodboy.

    Edited by - goodboy on 5 October 2002 5:8:33

    Edited by - goodboy on 5 October 2002 5:11:23

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    RXN Ballistic. Is this like asking ASL to which I always reply 31, not often enough, UK.

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    LOL @ Ballistic.

    I'm a RXB 32/F/Australia

    BTW, good essay, Goodboy, although I disagree with you about Bill Bowen bringing down the WTS. No one will ever bring them down, their own policies will eventually do this. Give it time, and the numbers of JWs will fall, never to reach the publisher peaks of the 1990s.

  • Klaus Vollmer
    Klaus Vollmer

    Prisca - you have forgotten that maybe Jehovah will bring them down

    he did it with Israel - the northern empire

    he did it with the 2 tribe empire Judah

    least he gave to Jodah in the days of the early christians his blessing (by the Romans)

    and we can be sure that he will finally break those guys in the present ivory towers who more take care for monetary and immobile belongings than for any molested child.

    I trust in god. And I think that Bill Bowen goes the right way, even having no present success. But they must hear what is true, they recognize it and yet they think like the highpriest about Jesus and his disciples: amhaarez - damned people they are.

    I cant believe that they wash their hands and repent what they've done. WTS did never do so.

    They must learn by penalty

  • UnDisfellowshipped
    UnDisfellowshipped

    Great Post Goodboy!

    I am an RXB, and very happy about it, except for the "R" part.

  • rwagoner
    rwagoner

    RXB here - Interesting Code and a Great Post...

    RandyW

  • safe4kids
    safe4kids

    Hi goodboy,

    Interesting post and I agree that there are differences in perspectives, depending on whether one was raised, or found, etc.

    However, I have to disagree with some of your generalities, as I don't fit your profile. You stated:

    R's will generally have a pain that the F's cannot understand-- or so they tell themselves. Raised ones will always believe they would not have been duped at the door. They wonder how the Founds got trapped. The Raised feel like more-seriously violated victims, especially the female ones (in whose case, its pretty correct).

    I don't believe that I woulndn't have been "duped"...who knows?? Depending on where I might have been emotionally, mentally, and spiritually at the time, I might have fallen for it hook, line and sinker...then again, maybe not. To me, this statement implies some negative judgment of those who "came in" and I definitely do not carry that type of mentality. Also, I do not feel that my pain is in any way more significant than that of others. Pain is pain. Yes, some have been more traumatized than others, this is true. But the feeling of pain is common to all of us, though perhaps to lesser or greater degrees.

    Anyway, I don't mean to be argumentative, just sharing my opinion.

    Dana

  • johnathanseagull
    johnathanseagull

    FXN.........great post

    J Gull

  • gumby
    gumby

    Apparently the GB just locked the gates and ignored them.

    Believe me....they were NOT ignored. Did you read of the security they had with 'brothers' surveiling the situation? The Bethelites looking out their windows? The statements to the media by the dubs.......not ignored!

    I am an R......and an X

    To say how would R's respond to a dub if they were not raised a dub.. at the door... is an excellent question. I have ALWAYS wondered how I would have responded to a witness at my door had I not been raised one. Actually.......there is no way of knowing. Our beliefs we know have were shaped by being raised a witness.

    I think with my personality and curiosity about life.....I may have been taken in by them anyway.

    The way the dubs present questions to you that all people wonder about is an excellent sales pitch.......and I may have bought into it.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Some very interesting thoughts

    RXU

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