I totally understand what you are saying. I guess you just have this view of how your life will be when you grow up and something unexpected happens to change the whole thing. I wonder sometimes if the ELDERS have trouble sleeping at night for all the hell they put us all through, to stand up and be judge and jury and say for that one mistake for being human, you cannot ever have a loving open relationship with your family ever again. It really makes me want to hurt them, the way they have hurt us, and sometimes I think why in the hell would a normal person not see what they are doing to them? After all, at one time most all the rank and file JWS were worldy. And notice that the ones who are suckered in are (nine times out of ten) from a disfunctional family? Makes you wonder, why me? Why us? What meaning is there for us? Is God sending us a message? Is he telling us to yes, go and preach the REAL TRUTH? OR WHAT?
Wanting to speak to someone
Anyone still around?
Smokey - welcome to this board - may you find some peace & comfort here!!!
Yes, it is extremely difficult when those you love choose to shun you based on religious beliefs. There are some good articles on tim campbells board (www.beyondjw.com) that deal with this very issue - I think you will find them interesting and a worthwhile read as well.
Keep posting! You're a very strong person to have come this far.
Welcome Smokey..I am new to this board also..again..I joined last year, I think..and lost my password three times..when I met the friends (oh boy reverting again but you all are my friends, right? RIGHT? )anyway as I was saying..when I met the friends who came to the March I saw how excited they were when everyone ran to the hotel computer and typed"Live From NY, its Silentlambs" ..I knew that I would have to find my dam password again or register again..and low and behold..here I am..(Did I get sidetracked?) So once again Smokey welcome and howdy!...hugs jeannie
I wonder sometimes if the ELDERS have trouble sleeping at night
To answer your question honestly, I know many elders that do lose a lot of sleep at night. Jehovah has given them very hard responsabilities and they spend hours helping their brothers and sisters. Many elders spend a lot of time praying for their brother and sisters that get involved in wrongdoing.
to stand up and be judge and jury and say for that one mistake for being human, you cannot ever have a loving open relationship with your family ever again.
I guess you mean that you or someone is disfellowshipped when they make one mistake. This simply is not true. The person is disfellowshipped for not showing signs of repentance not because they make one mistake. Most of the time, a person is disfellowshipped because their sin was a practice over time and not just a one time thing. Most one-mistake sins are private reproofs.
But if you're mad because you or someone else is disfellowshipped for sinning, well let's say that the sin is fornication or adultery. While the individual is banging the other person, are they thinking about their relationship with God and the family? Obviously not, but when that individual is disfellowshipped then he/she cries foul and whine that now they can't associate with their family as before. IMHO the individual has to fess up to reality and really examine his/her own actions instead of the actions of the elders. In reality, the elders would never have to make a decision if the person wouldn't have sinned in the first place.
Sword of Jah - I respectfully have to disagree with you on this one. Too many times, people who are not within the "in" crowd regardless of their "zeal" for the truth are used as an example....
I know this was especially true in my case, and that along with other circumstances, left me with scars that took 15 years to even try to heal. Tell smokey here what you will, but that point was not true. Maybe in your KH - I don't know. I find that different KH's have different personalities. But, if you've been reading here, there are alot of KH's where obviously wrongs were committed so as to "stumble" someone, and NO actions were ever taken to rectify the situation.
I'm sure there are alot of good, warm loving elders - I don't deny there are many within that faith who are people who truly care. But, there are just as many, if not more, who banter their titles like a crown, and do not REALLY attend to the needs of their flocks.
Too many times, people who are not within the "in" crowd regardless of their "zeal" for the truth are used as an example....
I don't deny that this happens sometimes. But in the rare instances that it does, the option is there to appeal and have a new committee look into the case. I say rare because even if one elder has a hidden agenda against the sinner, the other two elders add balance to the committee. That's why judicial committees are composed of three or four elders, not just one.
I find that different KH's have different personalities.
This is true and I have experienced it myself. That's why just because some problems occur in one congregation doesn't make the whole bunch the same. I have witnesses some elders that only worked for the position, but in my experience I have also witnessed that most elders have a love for the Bible, Jehovah and the brotherhood. I respect their heavy responsability and the amount of time they dedicate to the brothers and sisters. We might look at things from our individual standpoint, but the elders are looking out for the souls of every member of the congregation, some might only be 70 members and others are huge congregations of 200 or more.
Rare cases?? How many of these stories on these boards have you read? And these are just the ones that found this particular board. Do you know how many boards there are?
And, even if it were "rare", so what? Sure, everyone's human, and everyone makes mistakes. But, you can't tell me that when a family is viewed as "weak", for WHATEVER the reason, it makes all elders find it much easier to throw these people to the wayside so to speak. I can guarantee that unless an elder's child is throwing themselves away from the organization, all "sins" or transgressions are dismissed altogether, or a private reproval. Give the same set of any given circumstances to a woman with 5 children & no believing husband - they have a different set of standards. Its human nature to some extent, so therefore almost understandable. But - it does not justify the horrific trauma that child will have to endure. My brother was da'd at 11 - because he argued w/his bible study conducter. An 11 year old!!!! Another brother - da'd at 13 - because an elder's son stole from the collection plate & even though there were 2 witnesses to who actually stole the money, the thief climbed into my mother's car w/my brother....guess who got into trouble! Me - I was df'd @ 16 - for not screaming while I was being raped by my "fiancee" or go running to the elders afterwards (there are reasons why of which they knew - they just chose to ignore).
Anyways, I'm sorry Smokey - this is about you, and I didn't mean to hijack your thread.....it just never ceases to depress me that the JW's can so easily dismiss even 1 human life.............and yet they are the true spokesman of god.
I would love to talk with you! We do have much in common. How long since you left the dubs? It gets so much easier with time and understanding and much prayer. You can e-mail me if you like.
Love in Christ, Dj