Guess who called Sunday morning

by Tammie 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • Tammie
    Tammie

    Some time around 7 am, my mother in law calls. Hubby answers. We were still asleep. The last time we saw her was back in May, and before that was May a year earler. Any way she calls to ask if she can see the boys. Same old thing, she wanted to take them some where else. And of course the answer was still no, but she could come to our home for a visit. And then the tears started. OH BOO HOO, Ah buh humb bumg!!!!
    Hubby said no, and then she wanted to speak to me, but I would not come to the phone. I'm getting a bit tired of this stuff.

    She even asked if she could take the boys to the park, and you all know that is with out us. She asked my 7 year old if he would like to go to the park. At first he said yes, that was until I told him that mommy and daddy would not be going with him and his bubba. He changed his mind real fast. And he told his grandma, that he did not want to go.

    I almost forgot, learned that there was an assembly about an hour away, that she was trying to sneak them to. She made the mistake of telling her sister that, and hubby's aunt told us.

    Then she wanted to speak with my younger son, but he was still asleep.

    To make a long story a bit shorter, she was on the phone for nearly an hour and a half. In that time period, she did start in the name calling (that's why I won't let her take off with the children.) She called hubby an apostate, and he returned it back saying that JWs are the apostates. And Russell, and Rudfords were liers. He told her about the date line story and the child molestors, and the involvement the watchtower had with the UN.

    Hubby was getting agervated with his mom, that he was the one that hung up first. But she heard every word he said.

    He said that he mom is starting to crack (meaning that one day she might leave the JWs). I said good, then maybe keeping her from taking off with the boys will eventually get her out of that DAM CULT.

  • kenpodragon
    kenpodragon

    I did not know you posted on here too! Great to see ya.

    Take Care

    Dragon

  • A Paduan
    A Paduan

    Good to read

  • david_10
    david_10

    Tammie-------I remember posting to a thread of yours a couple of months ago about your family, and I was hoping that things would be going a little better than this. Paduan says : "Good to read" , but all I see is another family blown apart by the WTBS. And that's never good. I don't mean to sound like Dear Abby here, but I think that you should take the high ground and try to find some way that ya'll can get together and let your MIL see her grandkids, with the stipulation, of course, that she can't be hauling them to the Kingdom Hall or out in service. I have no doubt that she can be sneaky and manipulative, but I know that, in the long run, you wouldn't have any regrets if you did everything you could do to smooth things over. I've just turned 50, and I can tell you---------absolutely, positively-------- that life is just too short to waste even a minute of it embroiled in family fueding. I hope it works out for you. Good luck.

    David

  • professor
    professor

    I know exactly where you are at with this. My mother is the same way about our girls. No visits with me are allowed, you understand. She just wants to see my daughters. Don't they see how insulting this is?

  • Marilyn
    Marilyn

    David, I turn 50 in December, and I don't agree with you one bit. Tammie and her husband did not make up these stupid rules. The WTS makes up the rules and mother-in-law can either do as she is told by her beloved religion or she can see her grand-kids any time she likes in the presence of the son she gave birth to. Fancy anyone letting a religion dictate to them to such a degree that they will not see their grand-kids if their own child is present. M-I-L gets all she deserves IMHO.

    David I've been separated from my family for 20 years because of this WT insanity and you don't get any where by pandering to them. They want us to play their games and when we left the WT we gave up all that. I'm into "give em' enough rope and they'll hang themselves". Make granny live according to the WT dictates and maybe she might get to thinking how truly barbaric her religion is. I must admit that I don't think Tammie's husband should argue with his mother. They should remain kind, but firm. She can visit the house and behave in a civil and mature fashion. What is she afraid of? Is her faith so weak that she cannot even enter her disbelieving son's house and set religion aside for a few hours? It's truly pathetic. Is this what Jesus wanted of his followers?

    I applaud your kind heart - but my heart has become hardened from 20 yrs of shunning when all I did was leave the religion quietly. These are not normal people we are dealing with.

    Marilyn

  • Larry
    Larry

    I can relate

    Peace - LL

  • moman
    moman

    I feel ur frustration.

    The wierd thing is, most of us were that screwed up at one time!

  • safe4kids
    safe4kids

    I'm with Marilyn on this one. I would be VERY careful what type of contact I would allow my children to have with the MIL. Tammie stated that she was going to "sneak" the children to the assembly. That implies that she's fully aware this would be in total defiance of the parents' wishes, and yet she would do it anyway. Since she's that willing to lie and manipulate, I would not allow her to be alone with the kids, as there is no telling what she might say to them. This is a case where the parents really have to stick to their guns and protect their children from harmful influences, IMO.

    The MIL has the opportunity to see her grandchildren, she just doesn't like the rules her son and DIL have made...tough bunnies. It's her choice and they (the parents) have every right to set and enforce those limits. I do agree David that kindness is what is needed; however, I don't think that kowtowing to her religion is the way to go.

    Dana

  • Marilyn
    Marilyn

    :::::::::she just doesn't like the rules her son and DIL have made...tough bunnies.

    Actually Dana, it's not the rules her son and DIL have made. It's the rules the WT have made. All Tammie and her husband are doing is playing it thru to its logical conclusion. No worldly parent in their right mind would demand time alone with their grandchildren. A grand-parent (or anyone ) must earn the trust of the parents before the parents can leave their kids alone with them. A JW cannot be trusted to behave in a reasonable manner. Certainly the time will be spent filling the kids heads with the same destructive rubbish that has already destroyed the relationships in the existing generation. BUT even if the grandmother promised not to mention Jehovah et al, I would still not agree to this condition (though I did do it with my parents a few times - but then I knew they were being blackmailed to stay in) - I would stand my ground and say: You don't speak to me, you don't speak to my kids! After all, by WT thinking the kids are made evil thru their parents evil.

    Marilyn

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