Hello again, Marilyn. Thank you very much for your complimentary words. No one has ever accused me of having wisdom. If the ceiling weren't here to stop me, I'd be floating off into the clouds. When I read your post, I was very touched and I'm glad to know that you've been able to keep the lines of communication open in your family, even though it sure can be hard. And I hope that that is what Tammie and countless other victims will try to do. I can think of many times when I've burned my bridges behind me, so to speak, and it seems that I usually end up regretting it. So I try to be careful and consider the eventual consequences of my actions. The word that you used---compromise---is the perfect word for this situation. I wish that everyone who is faced with this problem could find a way to get together and compromise. It would save a lot of heartache, I think.
I didn't develope this thought earlier, but I might touch on this : It seems that using children to get revenge or exact punishment is pretty common and that is what seemed to be the thinking of several who posted to this thread. But we apostates aren't the only ones who can stoop to this. Even active witnesses do this as a form of punishment and I guess that that is what shunning is all about----punishment. So I suppose that it is natural to retaliate in kind. But to use the kids seems deplorable. For example, we've all read about Barbara Anderson being disfellowshipped and how her elder son and daughter-in-law now won't let her see her grandkids. It's cruel and disgusting, and we see that for what it is. But when we on this side of the board do the same thing, I can't see any difference. It's cruel.
So........Compromise. Keep the lines of communication open. And who knows what can eventually happen. I never thought that my parents would ever leave the "truth". But after 50+ years of faithful service, they woke up to what it is and they are totally out now. It can happen. Now, I have just one brother left inside, and you never know just what will trigger him to start thinking. Maybe he'll never leave, but then again, you just never know.
Your David sounds like a very nice man, one with rare compassion and conscience, and I'm honored that you made the comparison that you did. Say "Hello" to him for me, will you?
David