by Trotafox 35 Replies latest jw friends
Hey Trot....waving from Lake Worth ~~~~~ FloriDUH
Im not as free to ROAM the swamps down here as kidless Ms. Venice is (LOL) but it would be fun to do lunch with "boat-a-yooz" some time :) I have a 14 year old son who is itching to learn to drive and all I keep telling the kid is DEfense!!DEfense!!DEfense!! I dont care HOW good YOUR driving is...you live in this state and the senior citizens will kill you in the Publix pedestrian crossing sure as yer Nike's hit the pavement!
FOR the NATIVES: F. B. I. : FLORIDA BORN IDIOT.
(Anyone ever hear THAT one growing up in FLA?)
Hey Trot, interesting & fun thread! and
LOL! @ "Because I'm fat, ugly, and antisocial."
Speaking of terrorists and their so-called wannabee's like those idiots on Alligator Alley... when we learned more about the terrorists last year, I had the heebie-geebies because ERAU is right around the corner from me (aeronautical university), and the hijackers had made contact with some of the students there. Great! Bombs and/or bioterrorism comes to the neighborhood...
Whatever is wrong with South Florida can't be any worse than Central Florida or Northeast Florida! (My sis calls Florida the "penis state" due to its shape.) Born and raised Florida Natives we were/are, having grown up in what I hear they refer to as The Sleeping Giant. (big ugly JAX!) I "escaped" from Florida for a wonderful five years to the Rockies when I was still a "youngin'", but have been back in this sauna-state for 22 years, residing in the city of The World's Most Famous Beach (only because you can drive on it, and they have cut that down more and more as the years have passed). It's also The Land of [dare I say Red-Neck] Race Car Driving and The Land of [dare I again say Scuzzy-Wuzzy] Bikers by the hundreds of thousands! (Pleeeaase, we locals can't take the NOISE anymore!)
As was already stated, the ONLY good thing about FL is the "cooler" WINTER, short though it may be. The worst thing about Florida is the HUMIDITY. It totally sucks. You DIE or stay inside for 8 months, or run from A/C apt. to A/C in the car to A/C in the store, etc. And if your A/C dies in your car, then you just stay inside, period. Unless you ENJOY MELTING, SWEATING, forget wearing makeup or fixing your hair. I remember visiting here while living in Colorado, and I could NOT get over HOW SAPPY EVERYONE looked, GREASY if you will. (It was the sweat on everyone's faces!) I SWORE I would NEVER live in Florida again, and yet I came back to engulf myself in DubDum away from all the "worldly influences" of that Sin City in Colorado (Aspen), which is where I learned "the truth." And oh, the days of door-to-door in this FLA heat with pantyhose... how did I ever do it for 10-11 years?
Another thing I noticed when moving back here from the West, and began attending the KH here: Everyone seemed like SUCH HICKS! After a few meetings, I was sooo disgusted I could hardly stand it, but my money was gone and I was stuck here (it must be "genetic" -- see further below). The 'spirit in the air' seemed SO WEIGHED DOWN, SO BLAH, SO APATHETIC, Soooo SAPPY compared to where I had come from out West where there was LIFE! and Invigoration! (I used to think it was the humidity "weighing everyone down." That or Jah had "removed his HS from the cong"). The WHOLE TOWN seemed full of "hicks" and "red necks" compared to the "international flavor" of Aspen. -- Jax., FL was even worse than here. I remember visiting my parents and they wanted to eat breakfast at "Famous Amos," and the "hick accents" of the waitresses and the people sitting nearby almost blew-out my eardrums it was so painful. Being young enough I actually lost my Florida "hick" accent while living out West. Unfortunately, after 22 years back here, I'm afraid some of it has returned. Ya'll come back now, Ya hear?
One thing is for CERTAIN: For anyone who is born and raised here, YOU MUST ESCAPE at least once and travel around the country and live somewhere else at least for awhile. You MUST GET OUT THERE and see that not all minds are so small and so BACKWARDS as can be found in some places of Florida. My sister left Florida in '74 and has NEVER returned. Out of 8 kids, 7 all eventually "escaped" Florida and live elsewhere. Only 1 brother has remained in Jax. from day one. My poor Mom can't figure out why everyone "hates" Florida! (and especially Jax!)
On the other hand, when you are a Sun-Goddess and "live for a tan," then Florida is great. I lived and breathed for a tan for 30 years (approx. age 10 to age 40), so after returning to Fla from the Rockies I lived at the beach several times a week, worked at night/weekends. (NEVER could get a good tan in the Rockies: a "red" COLO tan v. a "dark brown" FLA tan). All during my dub years, I only met about one other JW who ever had a GOOD tan, and that was a CO's wife who took "tanning pills" so she wouldn't have to wear hose. Mickey was the husband, ah! that's it! SHIRLEY (she was bleached-blonde) & MICKEY (he was bald), but what was their last name??? [30 minutes later I remember: ERSKIN!] Mickey and Shirley Erskin (or similar. They were actually quite fun). Anyway, I'm "over it" now -- having to have a tan -- just call me Snow White.
Speaking of getting a tan: I remember years and years ago Bob Barker or some TV show personality (maybe it was Monty Hall?) did a test as to where you could get the best tan. So they sent a lady to Florida and a lady to California for a week. The Florida lady "won" as she ended up with the best tan. It was in that show I learned that the northern-most point of Florida was 100 miles SOUTH of the southern-most point of California. (Some such important facts we never forget, eh?)
Another "lovely" thing about Florida is DC&F (State Dept. of Children & Families) who "lost" something like 120 children. I heard on the news the other night they have finally located and made contact with about 20, so still 80 "missing children" to go. Those DCF people are pathetic.
A friend who traveled around the state for his job and thought of moving said he checked it out, and found Volusia County was one, if not the, cheapest place to live in the State; with Palm Beach County being the highest cost??? I'm always willing to move, however. Anyone know of a large 1 bedroom with den/office/library, W-D hookup, for a good price they want to rent? (Central A/C Required!)
Over the years (from childhood forward), I've seen some other parts of Florida: Miami (attended a natural health convention there in '89 -- fun but HOT, loved the catwalks and South Beach which was just being renovated at the time; attended a little KH which was in a "storefront" which previously had been a synogogue, Lincoln Street? And I couldn't get over all the elderly people I saw down there! They are here, too, but I think Miami has us beat by a long shot!); and Miami Springs (lived there for 3 months the summer of age 19 -- hated it! it's even HOTTER than here, but got a job to "model shoes" at The Playboy Club & Hotel for a "shoe salesman convention" -- I swear, it's true!); West Palm Beach (LOVED the green water); Melbourne/Eau Gallie (attended 1st-Ever FL 2-Day KH build); St. Augustine many many times (as kids we went every Easter for the city's Easter Parade; during Catholic Grade School we went many times on day-trips to the Fort, etc.; as a dub was there for St. Augustine's 2-day KH Build which the elderly sisters complained because they moved the KH from near the center of town way out to some property off the highway); Orlando (parents lived there for awhile in the 80s, nothing but highways, shopping centers, apt. buildings -- YUK! Also was at the Grand Opening of DisneyWorld in 10/70 because my Dad built their first "light-show water parade." Have never been to DisneyWorld since!); Plant City (assembly hall there); Sebring (went to a doc down there for 2 years, what a drive!; the lakes are nice, though!); Tampa (just another big ugly city like Jax./Orlando, imho); Palm Harbor (much NICER!); Clearwater (Nice!); Naples (Very Nice!); Bonita Springs (small and cozy, stayed at the Shangri-La '88 for a 21-day-water-fast); Ft. Myers (loved those Royal Palms - what's that street? McGregor Blvd.? And was fascinated by the Edison Museum and Summer Home); Bradenton (dated my one-and-only official "bible study" who was living there, great "sweet" red grapefruit over there, cute little farmer's market; the town "stinks" due to the orange juice factories); Sarasota (Nice! and always wanted to attend the Ringling School of Art there when I was younger; also nice beaches); Ft. Walton Beach/Panama City/Pensacola when younger (also nice beaches); Cape Canaveral/Kennedy/Canaveral numerous times as a kid to watch the launches -- never camp ON the beach, the SAND GNATS will EAT YOU ALIVE!); Tallahasee during late teens (it WAS nice over there, the hills!); and camped all over the country and the state with my family when we were kids (Florida Caverns, Suwanee River, Lake City/Goldhead, Ocala National Forest, Fernandina Beach's Fort Clinch, etc.).
Another thing I noticed after being out West and coming back: NO LITTER on the highways in California or Colorado like you see in Florida. I couldn't believe the difference when I came back. What "slobs" here in FLA!
Maybe Florida wouldn't be so bad if I was "rich" and had a luxury condo right ON the OCEAN (except during hurricanes! yipes!), or on a nice Bay or Lake or River, or heck! I'd settle for a CANAL! If you're stuck "inland" or on the "mainland," it's just another hot sweaty place, nothing special.
Rainstorms are nice, though, minus the scary lightning! That is one thing I missed in the Rockies -- it hardly EVER rained. No "patter on the roof" to get cozy, snuggle-up, and listen to (melting snow is quiet, you know!)
How did our family end up in Florida? (If you ever go on a honeymoon, make SURE you have enough money to get back HOME. Otherwise...) My grandfather, from Jamaica, Long Island, NY, married my grandmother who was originally from Cynthiana, KY, later Detroit. At 28 years old she had NEVER seen an ocean. So they took a Honeymoon-driving-trip through Florida and on their way back up the state, they RAN OUT OF MONEY somewhere around Jax. and they were STUCK, so they planted themselves in Jax. to get jobs/$$, and they Never Left.
I think Florida is "funner" when you're a kid. The swamps were great to play in, the beaches and large sand dunes were a huge THRILL as a kid, and I darn sure think it just wasn't as HOT back then.
Overall, the WEST Coast of Florida seems much NEATER, CLEANER, NICER, more Well-Manicured. The beaches and waters of the Gulf and the ocean are totally different. It's hotter over on the Gulf, though, or so I'm told. I have a friend who lives in Palm Harbor now. -- Marinas are also really nice to look at, no matter which city they are in... something about all those beautiful boats sitting docked in the water, very inviting.
Thanks for letting me ramble on down memory lane!
See Ya Later Alligator!
After 'While Crocodile!
GRITS (Girl Raised In The South)
Edited by - Grits on 14 September 2002 13:7:25
Y'all are so funny. I'm inland in South Carolina. We used to go to Orlando for business every winter. The humidity is about the same there as here. You're bugs are bigger & meaner though. We affectionately call those big waterbug roaches "Palmetto Bugs" up here. Damn things just thrive in the humidity.
Y'all got them (southern accent) "fire ants" down there? Lol - we spend fortunes on ant killers so that we can walk in our grass. Step in them? I've seen grown ups tear off their clothes to get those ants off them. I've got the scars to prove it.
I think we have the highest auto insurance rates in the nation in SC though. Btw, we also have the lowest SAT scores & highest illigitimate birth & "sexually communicated disease rate? Co-incidence? Of course, the sex disease rate was of several years ago - perhaps it's better now. One can only hope.
Ahhhhhhhhh, but the spring! We have the most beautiful Azaelas, Whisteria & Magnolias. Lol, but they don't quite make up for the people, bugs & humidity!
waiting
LOL! Waiting! I'm so glad you mentioned the Palmetto Bugs! Yes, we call 'em the same down here. They are the absolute GROSS-EST things on the planet! And they can even FLY, which is scarier than Holy H*** when they are flying right at your head like a komakazee (sp?) bomber pilot! I remember running around screaming hysterically more than once over such an occurrence. That was mostly growing up and teen years. Fortunately, in this place where I live now, I hardly ever see any bugs, and I do not let them spray either. (That was another blessing of high-altitude living: No Bugs Whatsoever. Zilch. Nadda).
Fah-er Ants is another thing. Yes, got those, too, and also the teeny-tiny ants. I hear pour bleach into their ant-beds is one way to get rid of them, at least for awhile. Your description of tearing off clothes due to ants was funny! I had to do the same thing once, but it was due to fleas at an apt. I looked at years ago down at the beach in Jax. Didn't know there were fleas imbedded in the carpet until we left and drove a few blocks, and then WHAMO! My legs were ON FIRE! My Mom was with me, I was driving and panicking like crazy. She said, "Drive to the ocean, drive to the ocean!" So we got over to the ocean and parked the car, and I pulled off my jeans right there in the driver's seat, and she took them out and submerged my jeans in the ocean. -- BUGS, WHO NEEDS 'EM!
Also funny was your info about SC's low education scores but high illegitimate birth/STD rate. Doesn't paint a pretty picture, eh? I always thought FLA had the crappiest education system in the country.
What you say about the Spring Flowers, SO TRUE! Gorgeous! My mother is originally from Wilmington, NC, so we used to travel up there all the time to see my grandparents, passing thru SC, of course, and YES! Those Azaela Festivals in the spring! I did truly LOVE that! Mmmmm, the aroma and beauty-to-the-eyes of Spring Flowers.
Grits, you almost make me homesick for Florida, but not quite
When I last lived in Florida, I was able to keep the bugs under control, but it took a lot of work. They love the humidity, brown paper and the old frame houses. Lots of food. Keeping the house really clean helps keep their population down.
What I miss about So. Florida is the old Florida I grew up in, back in the 50's and 60's. There was a lot more open space then and some of those old Florida Crackers actually cared about each other. There were more open and free beaches and we could actually have open fires on the beach at one time.
My last time down to Broward County, I asked one transplant if there was anyone left in New York.
Lew W
Teehee at Dakota! who wrote: "Grits, you almost make me homesick for Florida, but not quite."
I didn't know bugs liked "brown paper"! Hmmmm... wonder if I have any brown paper around here? -- I do know the palmetto bugs come out more when there is heavy rain. And they WERE worse growing up, not sure why. We even had the Sears man come regularly, and they "bombed" the house alot, but there were still roaches. We had central A/C, too, though it broke down ALOT and would "freeze over." I keep the A/C on here ALL the time, nice and cold, so maybe that helps keep the bugs away.
I temporarily forgot the term Florida Cracker! Yup! that'd be the first cousin to Georgia Cracker!
So true about more "open space" growing up in the 50's/60's. Neighborhoods were simple and quiet. Houses were farther apart. Lotsa nice trees. You could ride your bike all over the neighborhood even at night, with ne'er a care in the world! You could also burn your trash in the back yard. I also do remember MANY a "weenie-roast" on the beaches, even at night. Nice memories! And bonfire parties as teenagers at the beach (an invitation for trouble, that's for sure!) Back at the homefront, my parents and the neighbors had many an outdoor oyster-roast, fish-fries, barbecues... lotsa people would come. Geeeez, all the sudden I wish I was a kid again!
Foxey... c'mon over here to Texas, hon.
Edited by - COMF on 14 September 2002 14:39:48
I am from the LA...lower Alabama (Ft Walton). Which is the BEST part of Florida if you ask me, alot less people, alot less damn yankees, the best beaches and fishing....
But Florida as a state is insane. I am so glad I got my kids away from a state that places absolutely no value on diversity and life. I am so sick about the case in Pensacola where the kids were convicted for clubbing their dad with a bat, and they kept referring to the 12-yr old's molestation as a homosexual affair. How can a 12 year old have an affair with a grown man, why wasnt the influence that played in what these boys done even considered? Oh, no, it is a capital crime try 'em as adults. Sick sick sick.
What is up with the primaries? I remember the pres. elections when I was going to school in Tallahassee, and there were so many things that were NOT reported nationally, but they def prevented people of color from voting.
And, isnt it funny that the woman from Shoney's was able to cry witch and hold up an interstate and 3 people based on how they looked? I knew that sounded fishy from the get go.
Crazy Florida, I still miss the gulf more than anything I can tell you. I hate that I have not had cobia in years. I miss dancing on the deck under a big moon. But there are a mess of racist backwards people running that state.
After 14 years of hearing "we don't care how you did that up north" , I packed up and left. The West Palm area had become a zoo. We had widened every road, built all the condos and sucked all the water from the ground so my job was finished.
Did any of you all know this little known fact: it came to my attention the Hustler or Penthouse ( or one of the other finer publications) had rated Lake Worth as one of the top 10 sleaziest towns in America.
From about.com
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A man and his wife were driving their RV across Florida and were nearing a town called Kissimmee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it -- KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME? |
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| Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? Im halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God... I could be eating a slow learner! -Lynda Montgomery |
| A man walked into a Florida bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?" "Sure do," replied the bartender. "Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my 'gator." |
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Dear Florida Lotto, I know I chose the winning numbers for Wednesday's FL Lotto drawing. But upon further review, it appears the incorrect numbers appeared on my ticket. How could this happen? The root cause of this dilemma is the form I filled out to get my ticket. The form is very confusing. I thought I was choosing one set of numbers, (the winning numbers), when in reality I chose a completely different set of numbers. The numbers and boxes on the form are so close together, it's impossible to determine which box to fill in for which number.
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| Travel Agent Stories |
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Sincerely,
District Overbeer
