JWD a Dysfunctional Place?

by Victor_E 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • Victor_E
    Victor_E

    With the recent blood baths we have seen in this forum it got me wondering of how you can objectively understand it and more importantly not let it affect you if you so choose. What I write is not meant to be taken as gospel truth since there is no gospel truth nor is it my intention to get on my soap box since I left it when I walked out of the kingdom hall. Most of what I have to say is subjective based on personal experience and I feel no need or desire to debate anyone about anything I write. If you choose to find value in this post great, if you choose to find nothing but counter examples it is also great, be my guest.

    I will start with a frame upon which we can all agree on. This is a public forum created by Simon for the open discussion of JW related topics, since it is Simons money, time and energies that started it and keeps it operating he has politely asked us as guests to observe certain standards of etiquette. Each and every one of us chose to come here no one forced us against our will to come and play. Just as easily as we chose to come and play we can re-decide and take our toys and go play somewhere else that has different games with different rules as some have done.

    Each and every one of us is at a different place and time in our healing and personal evolution. One way of thinking about this is seasons in our lives. Some are in the middle of winter having recently exited or being thrown out from the JW religion. For these souls life is cold and lifeless with little spiritual food in their reserves so they come here to be fed and to have a warm place that they can interact and ask for help at times or simply find a shoulder to cry on voicing their injustices. Others are stuck in this lifeless winter season feeling dead not having the quality of life they could have if they had never been a part of the JW religion. Others through some set backs through choices they made or due to circumstances outside of their control got kicked into this season and they are ticked off and they scream, attack, and shout. They transfer or project their frustration and anger towards other members, but its all about the cold they are feeling in their heart and soul. Some enjoy or adapted to the cold and they are proud to be cold hearted and insensitive towards other members with their insults and trash talk. Some JWs come here to see a preview of coming seasons and they high tail it back to their comfy pseudo spiritual paradise with no seasons. Some sincere JWs know that they can no longer stay in that candy coated reality that is barren of sincere warmth and love so they return to build up the courage to leave and move on come what may.

    Enter springtime; some people are rebuilding their lives working hard tilling the land and planting different seeds to harvest a different quality of life. These types of people are proactive by going back or starting college or getting specialized training. They dont spend as much time on the forum due to being busy with their reconstruction activities. When they get a chance they drop in to see who is doing what or they measure their own progress seeing all the diversity of people and their place in time. They are still affected by emotional issues that strike close to home since it has not been long that long since they were there.

    Then there is summer time; a time to have fun in the sun. These people dont take issues personally and they can objectively see the silliness of the winter people. Since they have distanced themselves from that station they are seeing their crops grow exponentially by good decisions and proactivity. Success leads them to more success and they look back at their trajectory of life and feel a sense of satisfaction with some sadness or regrets of what could have been. But they are too busy to dwell on the past seeing their crop grow and the certainty of a good harvest.

    As time ebbs and flows like the ocean currents it leads to fall, a time of harvests reap filled with abundance. These people know that following the natural cycles of life leads to a self-fulfilling personal destiny. They are generous with their crops and give to others out of their abundance. Those who listen to these experienced sojourners are benefited by their wisdom. Since they are comfy with their spiritual, emotional, and material needs filled they are inspirational and easily spotted. They have no need to waste time or energies on pointless debates with those who disagree with them.

    Finally comes wintertime for those who have made it down this path through all the seasons of healing personal change and evolution. They are gone from forums due to totally re-building a life apart from JWs and ex JWs. They have healthy friends and have re-integrated with their community. They have so many other interests that satisfy them that they only focus on meaningful things that they can enjoy and share with others. They enjoy figurative and literal Christmases celebrating the spirit of life with gift giving and receiving gifts from friends and loved ones. Their JW experience is far in the back of their minds that is seems like a past life they once lived. Their wounds are totally healed and they wear the scars proudly as spirit beings who lived a painful human experience.

    We are all here for a reason and others for a season, thank you Simon for your gift to all of us.

    Victor Escalante

    He that does not know that he does not know, shun him for he is a fool.

    He who knows but is not knowing, wake him up for he is asleep.

    He who knows that he does not know, teach him.

    He who knows that he knows, learn from him. Arabic Proverb

  • RandomTask
    RandomTask

    Thanks Victor for your post. What group of people isn't dysfunctional? Utopia does not exist. I think thats something we learned in the org when ideals of a perfect society came crashing down around us. But we do get along here, its easy to notice a few who are angry and theres nothing wrong with them being what they are. We communicate with them, we agree, disagree, sooth their feelings or rile them up. Sooner or later everyone finds their way to the "winter" you speak of, or they leave.

    Everyone who comes here for a reason usually finds what they need because of the diversity of personality here, you keep what you like and throw out what you don't.

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    I think all jws and xjws are dyfunctional. Like you said we are all at different stages in our healing and what we are doing with our lives since leaving.

    Did I miss an autumn? That's a nice season too.

    j2bf

  • FreeFallin
    FreeFallin

    Excellent, excellant post. One I'm sure many of us can relate to.

    Free

  • hillary_step
    hillary_step

    A thought provoking post - thank you once again Victor - HS

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    WOw, thanks for the post, Victor. A good thoughtful post to start my day.

    I'm not functioning yet!!

    Cheers, Ozzie

  • jst2laws
    jst2laws

    Victor

    Very good Victor. For those not sure where they are at or where they are going I'm bring this back up to the top.

    Jst2laws

  • Mimilly
    Mimilly

    Victor - again, an incredible post! However, I disagree with the title. I believe everyone is dysfunctional in one way or another.

    I will be printing this one off. I love analogies. Thanks Victor.

    hugs, Mimilly

  • minimus
    minimus

    EVERYBODY THAT'S HERE IS DYSFUNCTIONAL. JWD is the only sane thing here.

  • Victor
    Victor

    18 Years ago JWD was a "Fight Club" I've seen it all over 25 years being a part of exiting JW groups

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