Tiring of Anti-JW causes?

by ashitaka 48 Replies latest jw friends

  • cellomould

    Hey Ashi, Larc, et al,

    I am not sure how you may relate to this, but everytime I find myself in a new or unfamiliar situation, I have a small epiphany. I have to remember all over again just how far I have come and how my thinking has changed.

    I walked 5 miles to come home last night, which was a much needed pensive ambulation.

    Suddenly, I was struck by the novelty of the idea: 'I think for myself!' But this same epiphany has happened many times already, always in a different time or place.

    I do think that our minds are very sensitive to physical boundaries. I think that, like computers we use different algorithms to solve different problems; let's call it that way. So it is good, even if you have left 'God and religion far behind' to have something to remind you of where you have meandered since then.

    One of my disfellowshipped brothers always resists when I invite him to think about something JW related. He always insists that people should be allowed to think for themselves. But it is well known that in many ways, they do not. I think it is the responsible and respectful thing to talk about even our differences with JWs. If they can have a civil discussion without feeling their beliefs are compromised, then they just might be thinking for themselves. By opening communication (and the ex JWs will usually have to be the initiators), we grant them that freedom.

    So my stance is not anti-JW, but I certainly will insist on being honest, open, and free.

    Isn't my worldview perfectly acceptable?


  • Scully


    Are you kidding???? You were there for your parents while they were exiting the JWs. And for your wife too, if I recall correctly.

    Those loved ones of yours are probably the most important contribution you'll ever make to the ex-JW community. Please be proud of that accomplishment.

    Love, Scully

  • larc

    Ashi, my thoughts run along the lines that Double Edge posted above. Perhaps, you and I don't count for much individually, but collectively we make a big difference. Have you noticed how a new, suffering person is welcomed? Many people express a warm response. It is the effect of all those people that makes the new person feel welcome and comfortable, and that is a good thing.

  • anewlife

    Ash: I understand what you are saying and how you are feeling. Some days I question myself and ask, "When am I going to be able to let it all go? When will I no longer feel like a JW or an exJW?" I've decided that as long as I'm "fighting against being a JW" I will always be trapped in a sense. I need to learn how to just be me, whoever that is. I've only been out for two years and I think the hardest part is family and some former friends who I considered family. I guess I truly NEVER really thought I'd be an outcast...that when it came right down to it, they'd still love me as family....I was wrong. I'm getting better about it all and am moving forward into making a complete stand such as, "If you can't accept that I am and will no longer be a JW anymore, then there is absolutely no need to even call me to try and see my kids. If you choose to follow the JW rules then our family ties must be completely severed as I cannot keep getting my hopes up every few months when you call to 'just ask me something' that perhaps it's a start of a relationship again. It's just not fair to me and I deserve more."

    In the meantime this board helps me to see I'm not alone in my "battle"....that someday I WILL move on and have a normal life. For now, this is where I choose to be.


  • Bgurltryal

    The smallest things can be rewarding. Some days just smiling at someone and seeing them smile back makes my day. Not everything you do needs to be a crusade againsts the JWs. It's draining. sometimes giving of your self in the smallest way, even, or perhaps especially, to someone that doesn't deserve it can hold great reward. And sometimes being selfish is needed too. It's a survival mechanism. It may sound hokie and naive but that's mah two cents. I think doing what feels right without an after death reward is in some ways a more valid and heart felt action. Again my two cents. I'm not trying to start a spiritual argument.

  • larc

    Ashi, look at this thread as an example of what I said. If I was the only one who commented, it would not mean much. But, look at how much support and thoughtful comments you received. That is what I mean. As individuals we can do something. As a group, we can make a difference. God bless you, my friend.

  • ashitaka

    I know what you mean, too. My soon to be Bro-In-Law is 'worldly' too. Even though he know all about my views and actions, he doesn't care, and always professs love for my wife and I. He know the JWs are corrupt, but doesn't care. He likes going...he says it makes him feel good. Weird, isn't it? I'm hoping he find the truth about the 'troof' the same way I did. then maybe he'll take some action.

    So this place is a kind of post marker on the highway. Never thought of it that way, but it makes sense.

    Yes, I helped my fam out, but the more I talk to them, the more I feel that I really didn't have too big an impact on their decision. Perhaps they would have left anyway. My wife wouldn't have left without my help,though, and I know how much she appreciates my sticking by her. She tells me every day.

    I would like to help other people, but am afraid to hurt an unstable person, even though I may have the best of intentions.

    I am proud, Scully, but I feel like I'm standing still, but I can't shake the feeling that I need to help people get out of the JWs. I wanted to die when I was a JW. My childhood and teenage years were the worst time of my life. I would be bothered if I didn't at least try to help.


  • Swan

    I think it does help. I started having big doubts when I heard about Ray Franz in the 80's. Also, I saw the hidden pictures in the Wt illustrations. Those gave me big doubts. I started to listen more to my own feelings rather than the steady stream of JW propaganda.

    But really, regardless of who it helps, you need to do it for you. Don't do it if it is going to be a great burden. That's just like having to go out in the Field Ministry in the pouring rain. Do it because it makes you feel good to help others. If it doesn't feel healthy any longer, then cut down or back out.

    All to often we push ourselves to the limit because that's what we were taught as JWs. It wasn't healthy then, and it isn't healthy now. It is just hard to unlearn some of those behaviors. But take care of yourself first. That's something you can learn.

    Anyway, for what it's worth, whatever part you played in getting me out and recovered, I truly thank you.


  • ashitaka

    Thanks to everybody for the comments.

    I'm still thinking about things, but I think I just needed some perspective tonight.

    BG, ANL,

    Thanks for the comments.


    As individuals we can do something. As a group, we can make a difference. God bless you, my friend.

    I agree. And the same to you.


  • A Paduan
    A Paduan

    Consider a well written book - did it work for ray franz?

    What do the org use? That works even if it's lies.


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