More Caption Fun!

by SYN 10 Replies latest social humour

  • SYN

    JWD has been the scene of many heated arguments between the Brothers and Sisters in the last few days. This all just goes to show that YouKnow was actually right, and the end of the world is coming in October, really! Whodathunkit? So, in order to alleviate the negativity and severe karma errors that have occurred on JWD in the past few days, why don't we all gather together, united in true worship, and give nice captions to the images that came up when I did a Google Image Search for "JEHOVAH"? It may not be entirely Bible Based (TM), but we sure as hell will try!

    The towing expedition went fine until the ship reached New York and the Governing Body stepped in.

    Despite his disastrous misusage of the apostrophe, having confused it with a comma, Fluffy still had the Truth.

    Brother JR Brown insisted that the Writing Department take down everything he said with an old-fashioned typewriter. Later that same day, he was lynched by an angry mob of toilet cleaners armed with heavy bound Watchtower volumes as he left his lodgings. The body was never found, although the Watchtower's paper had a noticeably red tint to it for weeks...

    After handing in his resignation to his father, Dr. Evil, Mini-Me became a full-time placard for Brooklyn.

    Jaracz never knew what hit him - one moment he was taking a sly pull from his hand-rolled "Bethel Style" smoke, and the next he was a glowing feotus with a spike for a hand. He always knew THE DEEMINZ!!!! would get him...

    The demonized Bear Angels had a very brief reign of terror over Brooklyn, until Jaracz' sharp shootin' took them down. Later, mugshots were taken to educate the Bethelites on the dangers of attachings wings to demonic teddy bears.

    The demonstration on Family Unity was going well up on the podium, until a Sister armed with a colourful blanket and a hat interrupted the proceedings.

    Brother CT Russel had always had trouble rolling really tight joints, but today was the first time he needed his glasses to do it.

    Brother Flippy "Water Wings" Smith was NOT a success on the Convention circuit.

    Neither was Brother John Brown, especially not after that really strong easterly began blowing the hats off the Sisters.

    The performance artist had vowed to write a book containing no pages, but he had no idea how to do it until Brother Flippy showed up at his door on Saturday morning.

    Brother Flippy's talk went really well until he was attacked by a demonic miniature clock.

    Only after he released his seminal album did Magnum find out that moustaches were banned for Witnesses.

    As a prank, Brother Flippy slipped a Stars & Stripes into the Governing Body's Legal Team logo.

    Sister Jones could never understand why she was disfellowshipped after one of the Elders in her Congregation read her new book!

    As he started the Judicial Meeting, Brother Flippy realized that the stupid urologist had left his catheter in when he left the hospital.

    Brother Flippy's Watchtower front page was rejected by the Writing Department because the font was italic and not bold as had been stated in the requirements.

    In his later years, Brother Rutherford still made predictions, albeit on a smaller scale.

    The diagram explaining the Watchtower's "New Light" on the Blood Policy was well received by the eager Brothers and Sisters, but secretly none of them understood it too well.

    Sister Flappy of the Oompahloompa Congregation was renowned for her Frog A La King, but sadly, the Circuit Overseer never wanted to have dinner at her home.

    The vegetarian tiger was pissed that he had to stare at the blinding colours of the pony-tailed little girl's dress literally forever.

    Carman's new Album, "Christmas with Carman", was the followup to his earlier flop, "Partaking of the Emblems At The Memorial With Carman".

    The Book Study had been going well until the demonized cat seduced half the Congregation into removing their shoes and changing into unChristian clothing.

    Arnold's new movie was instantly banned for all Witnesses.

    The baby was trampled over by the marauding horde of demonized vegetables and fruit.

    Sister Flappy's initial exuberance about her new religion quickly faded when she discovered that the only position allowed was Missionary.

    After the punch bowl at the Witness "Get-Together" was spiked with Ecstasy, the Brothers and Sisters really began to understand the meaning of the phrase "Love your neighbour"!

    Bravely, Brother Flippy tried to shoot down the incoming meteorite, but what he didn't realize was that he had an empty clip.

    WELL, hopefully you're ALL cheered up now! Submit your OWN captions! Come on!

  • SYN

    Is NOBODY going to think up some more captions? *sob*

  • Faraon


    Is this Jehovah GOD or DOG

    Despite his disastrous misusage of the apostrophe, having confused it with a comma, Fluffy still had the Truth.

    Stop making fun of us dyslexics (reading orientation challenged) :)

  • Swan

    OK, I'll give it a go.

    For the angel teddy bear picture:

    "In the 1980's, these Teddy Angels were secretly kept in the back of every Kingdom Hall to be used in case of another Smurf attack."

    Edited by - UglyDuckling on 17 August 2002 22:59:51

  • SYN

    UglyDuckling: LOL! Good one! Sounds just like something they'd do, doesn't it?

  • berten

    What is the source of the picture of the black man
    and his secretary?Is it from the dutch WTS?
    Translated,its text read as:

    "God let humans write the bible,
    somewhat as if a businessman
    dictates a letter to his secretary."

  • SYN

    Berten: I dunno. I just cut & pasted links to random funny images...but it might be!

    I guess God must have had a really bad secretary, especially for the Old Testament. Those Old Testament secretaries SUCKED!

  • COMF

    "Whoa! This is some potent stuff!"

    I'm getting really good at wanking while appearing pious.

    The friends all adored Sister Bernadette's new tigerskin sofa, much more easily obtained now that tigers were docile vegetarians.

    News of the Presiding Overseer's big jackpot win at Harrad's spread like wildfire. Now they could afford that massive crystal chandelier they'd been praying for! Praise be to Jehovah!

  • SYN

    Brother Flippy "Water Wings" Smith just couldn't understand why they wouldn't let him carry the microphones around or mow the lawn.

    Brother Flippy was very distraught when he learnt that THE DEEMINZ!!!!! had snuck into his bedroom the previous evening and magically made his beard grow, the night before his big Keynote Talk at the Convention.

    Brother Poppy hated Brother Flippy's nervous habit of zipping his fly up and down during talks.

    During his early days at Bethel as a toilet cleaner / writer, Rutherford was well known for scathing headlines, but when the Writing Department got this one, Rutherford was sentenced to dishwashing duty for weeks.

    After the summer of 1998, the hardworking Brothers realized that every single one of the chairs that they had installed were second-hand, and thus probably demonized, so they were forced to remove them, sprinkle Holy Water on them, and reinstall them.

    Pissed that he couldn't devour the koala bear, the tiger opted for nibbling the friendly human's hand instead, with mixed results.

    Carman was instantly disfellowshipped when the Elders learnt about his new career in "Pop Music".

    Brother Flippy had forgotten he was wearing his Heads T-Shirt - until the cat's eyes began to glow and he realized that he had probably invited demons into his home. That was why he asked all the Brothers and Sisters to take their shoes off, hoping that the post-Field Service sweaty foot smell would scare away THE DEEMINZ!!!

    Brother Flippy was well known for his prowess in the world of private investigation, but when Brooklyn asked him to track down Jehovah, he knew the job was going to be a difficult one...

    The Witnesses were always very happy at the end of their 8 day Conventions. At this one, however, Rutherford had announced that all the Conventions were being shortened to 3 days instead.

  • Sunspot

    After decades of tiresome "tacking" and obeying orders from the ship "Jehovah", the tugboat "Apostate" released her towing line, and left the "Jehovah" to drift aimlessly in the Bermuda Triangle.

    But BROTHERS.......I'm simply asking you to show me SCRIPTURALLY where the Governing Body "sees" that blood "components" are now allowed!

    To eliminate the long lines at the Sister's rest rooms, Brother Sharp lovingly ordered the extra toilets so that the sisters wouldn't have to miss so much of the lifesaving information being given in the main auditorium.......

    Assigned to a remote Caribbean Island, two unnamed Brothers are following local custom where (only) the guests sit on the floor and drink wine while the householders relate their childhood experiences.

    The rarely seen ultra-ultra-secret WTS publication issued only to Branch Overseers who have been loyal for more than 25 years. Clear and precise directions are given on keeping the "real truth" about the organization hidden from recruits, and three chapters are devoted to "how to explain New Light" and make it sound plausible, and more.

    I've been sitting here studying this darn chapter since March......I'm so tired......are there faces on this wallpaper?

    New Order News: (left) Dorcas and Daniel are meeting their new surprise siblings, Tamar and Timothy, as their Father Ken I. Trythat introduces them to the new arrivals.

    The babies' mother, Sister May I. Trythat, was stunned at the birth of her infant koalas, but declined any further comment to our reporter. (right) Sister Trythat engaging in light banter with Baruch, a Bengal Tiger she befriended, residing on her property. (Photo from files, two years old)

    Photo taken Sunday morning, August 18, 2002 by Sister Ima ********, just after the PO announced that the speaker for the Public Talk had to unexpectedly cancel due to a family emergency. All in attendance were disappointed, and sent the brother and his family their love.

    Fun post, SYN!!!!!



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