Hammy, that was such a sweet post. I can tell you're a kind person! The names were hilarious and descriptive.
Jesus Christ! I've always thought you lacked a sense of humor from all your saccharine parables. But, at last your true twisted sense of humor is bubbling forth! Bravo!
Ash, good (?) suggestion . . . er, ahem, . . . we'll see . . .
Here's a picture of a topaz (today's tryout) that is perfectly descriptive of her colors: