Everybody has their own timetable when it comes to leaving the organization. Some due to family and friends continue indefinetly. Others, when they see all the lies of the "truth", leave right away. How long has it been for you? Are you still around or have you made your exit? Did you know for years the hypocrisy of the Witnesses while still being a member? It seems many here have been aware of the deceit of the organization but stayed for quite some time.
HOW LONG WHILE YOU WERE A JW DID IT TAKE TO LEAVE?
by minimus 32 Replies latest jw friends
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WildHorses
In a total of 6 years. I started my study, got baptized, then left. This girl doesn't waste any time. LOL
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In_between_days
I was brought up a JW for around 20 years before I started fading away. I always had doubts, and detested the man made rules in the org. I decide when I was ready for it, before I got beptised I would really "Make the truth my own", and research this religion outside of WT approved publications.
Well, I started fading away gradually. As soon as I moved out of home, I did'nt have the influence of my parents and stopped attending meetings and witnessing. Months later, I was studying again and I decided to make a decision on this org once and for all. I started researching and stumbled onto this site - found out about the UN issue, this is when I officially left.
I define "officially left" in the sense of when someone asks me "What cong are you in" I say "None, I don't go"
They then say: "oh well, I guess it's hard with your job and everything"
and I say "No, it's not hard, because I don't want to go"
It took me along time to have the courage to say this - about 3 years.
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DakotaRed
From start of study to disassociation, I lasted about 10 years, including about 5 years inactive.
Lew W
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Big Tex
I started studying in 1971. And for 17 years I honestly and truly believed in my heart I was in "the truth". But then, one day I decided to confront my JW parents over my incestous childhood and from there it got ugly. What happened to others, happened to me. I lost my family, all my friends, people I had known for 15 or more years. It wasn't a question that they didn't believe me. Rather, they were cold and angry and I was told more than once, "What do want me to do?" Many people told me I was "bringing reproach on Jehovah's name", and for years afterward (even after I stopped going to meetings) I believed it was my fault and that I was just a bad person. The elders naturally blamed me and one even told me that "Jehovah is far too busy to worry about your petty little problem." The circuit overseer sat in my living room and told me that if I said another word about my father, he would see to it personally that I was disfellowshipped. When I went to meetings I felt bad, physically, emotionally and spiritally. When I stayed away, I felt better. I continued going despite being blackballed but it became more and more difficult. Finally, after about a year and a half of this I quit going altogether. That was 1989.
A few months ago that I came across the Silent Lambs website. I felt so decadent and borderline apostate for reading it, but at the same I was astounded that there were so many people whose experiences echoed mine. Many more were worse. Finally one day I read one posting and it touched me deeply. I still get goosebumps when I think about it. The posting was from a woman whom I knew back in my old congregation (White Rock) when she was little. I knew at that moment, I had to respond to Jesika Thoman's message. I didn't know if she would remmeber me, but I just had to try to say something. After I typed out a short message, I hesitated before hitting enter because I felt if I did this, there would be no going back. Not because I would be DF'd or anything like that, but because I was finally making a choice.
I never thought I would leave. Sometimes I miss what I had growing up. The "truth" offered me comfort and safety from a home that was mean and chaotic. It offered me simple solutions to complex problems and, for a while, it helped me. I think if it was not there, I would have probably committed suicide. So for that, I am grateful to them. But when I got away from my abusive parents, the "truth" stopped working for me and began to work against me. It was primarily responsible for a nervous breakdown and years of depression. I used to think that if I just did everything right, then it would be the way it used to be and I would feel the way I used to feel when I was at the meetings or out in service. Maybe that's how some women feel about the men who beat them. Looking back, I guess I'm pretty stupid for sticking with it for so long. But I'm out now.
"Hey you bastards! I'm still here." -- Steve McQueen, "Papillon"
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RandomTask
I would say that from the time I started having doubts to the time I consciously decided to not go back to meetings was about a year.
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caligirl
I was raised as a witness. I was in my early teens when I realized that something wasn't right. But I kept going because there was no choice. I got baptized at 14 (mostly because other kids my age were doing it). To make a long story short : I was married at 18, and both my husband and I started to slowly skip meetings since we both felt the same way, first the book study, then the service meeting . I started to have panic attacks when it was time to go to a meeting and would end up in tears because of the inner turmoil - not wanting to go but feeling that I "should". This was when we started to skip most Sundays also. But once I gave myself permission to acknowledge how I felt and stopped letting the guilt control me, the panic attacks went away All in all, the fading out process happened over a 6 year period and I have been 100% free for around 6 years. A long process but well worth it!!
Edited by - caligirl on 14 August 2002 0:46:47
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JT
3 yrs
started with the change in the GENERATION DOGMA
left in 1998
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sunshineToo
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Big Tex}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
You'll be in my prayer.
It took me 12 1/2 years: from study to DA.
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Scarlet
It took me about 4-6 years to get out after I started having doubts. I can't really recall when the doubting began but I know I wanted out 4 years before I made the decision to leave.