HOW LONG WHILE YOU WERE A JW DID IT TAKE TO LEAVE?

by minimus 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • Wolfgirl
    Wolfgirl

    Let's see....

    I was pretty much raised in "the truth." My parents were baptised when I was 2. I was baptised in 1987, when I was 13. I was privately reproved 4 or 5 times, I think...all for dating "worldly" or "inappropriate" people, and the sort of things you do when dating. (Not actual "sex") Finally df'd nearly a year and a half ago, for sexual immorality (living with my "worldly" boyfriend), which I readily admitted and proudly said I would continue doing.

    I had doubts for a while, but never voiced them (wait on Jehovah, we couldn't possibly understand), but finally had enough when the elders ignored my accusations of rape by my husband (they probably didn't think it was possible) because there weren't 2 witnesses (well DUH! he's hardly going to do it in front of someone else), and they said my father who sexually abused me and lied about it for 20+ years could stay an elder.

    Never been happier. So I was in the org for about 26 years.

  • felix a
    felix a

    It was about a 3 year process on a conscience level and even longer when you add up the different stages of my life.

    Dave P

    P.S.

    JT,

    I was doing some clean up on my hard drive and found a copy of this old H2O post from back sometime in 99'. I mentioned you in it and in light of this thread I figure its good for a few shits and giggles...

    Man I can't believe its been that long since I was playing the role of apologist.

    Dave

    ______________________________________

    Rick,

    Regarding your friend who is concerned about some of the posts and their responses that are left here on the board. I'm not sure he realizes what dangerous ground he treads. Maybe reading Fahrenheit 451 would be a good starting point. We benefit not only from the voices of others who agree with us but often from the voices that do not. These voices of dissent can both shore up our beliefs as well as help us find our areas of weakness. At Bethel on my crew and many others what we were taught to ask ourselves regarding any situation was the question, What is Jehovah trying to teach us? JT may need to ask himself this question as a worshipper of Jehovah when it comes to the postings of those he considers to be opposers. Another question he may wish to ask himself is why this bothers me so much? Do I have such little confidence in the faith of my brothers and sisters that I believe they cannot handle this? Or is it that some of these words ring a little to true.

    So JT if you're reading these responses consider this last thought of mine to you if you would.

    Since I'm sure that as you read some posts, you find yourself getting a little angry. You may not want to continue reading them yourself. But you know that you are a mature Christian and so you can handle what is said. Besides, you may think to yourself, how am I going to help my brothers and sisters who do read these words and are not thinking about what they really say about God's people.

    So you wonder what it would be like for them if you didn't come back and read some more. Suppose for a moment that that is exactly what some members of the writing department do themselves. They read what is written by individuals who disagree with their understanding and you wonder why can't I do the same as a mature Christian. Suddenly you feel moved to realize that you can. Then you remember what has been written in the magazine about even reading a little bit of leaven.

    So you determine in your heart that you will try not to read the words you find out there that disagree with what you believe. You really try to do this. Yet you might find that you can notice some things you can agree with. So you allow yourself to come back and you pretend to these people that you are a little more open minded so that they will listen to you. So you wonder what is like if what they say is true and then you try to stop yourself from thinking about these things. When suddenly you realize that the criticism you wanted to go away has helped you to understand the bible better.

    Felix A

    Edited by - felix a on 14 August 2002 3:51:54

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    I started having doubts in July, last year. I decided to leave by September, last year, the weekend before I joined this site. I left in January this year.

    Two months of doubts - Four months of getting my life in order, to escape.

    Now, seven months later, I can truly say it was the best (if not the only decision) I could have made. I hope to retain that belief, in ears to come. Somehow I suspect that I shall

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    I had doubts for about 2 years, before I realised it wasn't "the truth". I faded out over a period of roughly a year after that.

  • Mackin
    Mackin

    Mentally I "left" while i was still in Bethel about '93, but it took a year or 2 after that to actually get out.

    Mackin.

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    I first read Crisis of Conscience in the spring of 1989. When I read it I already had concerns and suspecions. It took until the spring of 1992 before I walked away. It took another 3 years of odd twists and turns in the road before I was formally DA'd.

  • HoChiMin
    HoChiMin

    minimus;

    What's your story?

    HCM

  • Larry
    Larry

    Once I 'open my eyes' it took about two years to complete the process.

    Peace - LL

  • DIAMOND
    DIAMOND

    Last year started having doubts. Read COC then I knew the real deal. Still in it because of my mother and wife. Wife knows how I feel and she hates it. Mom has no idea. Once I get up enough courage to tell her.... I'm out. But I'm already out in my heart mind and soul. Diamond

  • ugg
    ugg

    i am still a jw....no meetings or association for 1 year now...i can
    never go back there....i have had doubts for a long time...way too much
    cruelity in the organization....just way too much...

    i do not know what is going to happen to me...i don't know how to leave
    with out losing every thing...and i wonder how long they will let me
    "be a fence sitter" before they take action....if any...

    one thing is for sure...i have reached a point of "no more"....time
    will give the answers for the rest of it..

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