Do you get disappointed if no one responds?

Larry

Writing should be for our own edification - A personal cleansing, therapeutic at the least. If you write for other people's approval, you will be disappointed, especially when you share your thoughts on the 'Net. I've seen many folks get 'burn-out' from these boards b/c they don't get the expected respond to their post. Seems like when we leave the BORG we still carry that 'looking for approval' mentality.

Which brings me to the point of this thread - It seems like everything we did in the BORG was to please everybody else but ourselves or to make some kind of impression on others. For instance: Field Service, Commenting at Meetings, Giving Talks, Going to Conventions and all the meetings, Reporting time, Reporting wrong doers, Having the CO/DO over for lunch, Giving prayers, etc. (did I miss anything?) Seems that just about every aspect of Dub activities is a 'showy display.' I wonder how many Dubs would be doing the above if no one noticed? To the credit of one JW pioneer I met years ago in the Brighton Beach area in B'klyn, NYC - We were talking about the difficulties of witnessing to the Russians that migrated to that area, so I asked her "Do you have problems getting your time in as a pioneer?" and she replied "Time?!, Who cares about time when lives are involved." Needless to say that was a lasting impression on me. Ok, back to the gist of this post - Sometimes I get the impression that this board is a reflection of that same Dub mentality - Looking for approval. Granted, many folks in here don't care one way of the other. But my questions are:

When you were a Dub, what 'theocratic' activity did you do for yourself, meaning that it didn't matter if anyone knew about it or not?

When you post here, do you get disappointed if no one responds?

Peace - LL

Dizzy Cat

Well, I wasn't going to respond :o)

When I was a DUB (still don't know what that means???) I think for me personally, having pats on the back for ministry certainly helped oil my cogs of activity.

I have always had a low self esteem and have battled through the years to compliment myself, but find it painful. So, to receive compliments from others is easier and feels very nice indeed. Being a JW meant getting lots of nice little ego-massages from brothers and sisters, for being soooooo spiritual.

The approval thing is a strong component of most boards on the net, you're right. But personally, because this is such a distant form of communication, I can afford to be more truthful. For the most part, I don't care what others think of me here. I am truly free to think and say what I want, within reason.

sleepy

Wouldn't it be ironic if no ones responds to this post.

Mister 8iggs

It's sometimes frustrating when you take a lot of time and thought to post something that you feel might be beneficial to others OR when you need (or want) feedback from others, and then it gets read 10 times before getting buried on page 2 and beyond. This board can be sort of like a support group for those going through JW related stuff.

The REALLY frustrating part is when certain "Trolls" start a post and they get hundreds of responses from people on this forum when they respondents (and the Troll) know that the Trolls aren't sincere in their questions. Then, people with a serious or an important post gets buried.

My 2 cents.

sleepy

Oh too late.

Do you get disappointed if no one responds?

Yes.After all the hard work I have to put in to check my spolling , someone better respond.

Windchaser

Your points are well taken. If I ever come back to posting, I will just say whatever the fuck I want and not give a shit about pissing people off or getting approval or responses. I will also be as cold-hearted as I can be and not love people I meet at these places so intensely.

JT

I understand where you are coming from and yes we all look for approval one way or another ain fact it is a fact of life - the only issue is the degree to which we go to seek approval

be it our job kids, wives parents, etc.

but to answer your question i would say that for most we are somewhat disappointed if we raise and issue that we feel has some substance and it is ignored-

the kicker is and i posted on this yesterday is we can have someone raise an issue and no one address it and then A TROLL SAYS: "KISS MY A$$" and we will many times post 150 post to it

i think more in terms of this is form of communication between folks as to writing like in one

dairy to read and reflect on latter

that being the case i know of very few folks who enjoy being in a room full of folks and we they say something NO ONE EVEN ACKNOWELGES that they are even there

try going to work and walk up to folks standing around the watercooler and say:

"So how was everyones weekend" and get no response

"Did anyone see the game this weekend" and get no response

how long will it be for the avg person to feel like a total outcast

you see the WT has got shunning down to a Science- because as humans we have a basic need for the most part to be engaged with others and when folks ingnore us - i think i can speak for many it rarely feels good.

now should it make or break our day if not one post to our thread .-- of course not, but it is good to see that others share your veiws or even oppose your views

, but your point on looking for approval is well taken due to like you mention our wt training ingrained that in us very deeply]

ballistic

Larry, I agree with you to a certain extent. Much of our kingom service was a showy display in effect even if not by cause. However, I think you will find ironically that many who really did serve God out of 'principle' and without 'fear of man' end up on the outside in places like this. They are the same type of people who really do burn out in the organisation or the people that won't fein repentance if they don't fully believe or understand it.

With regard to people here being needy by looking for approval through replies, I have to disagree. This is a 'virtual' community and as such is built on the interchange of words on-screen. There is no body language, no approving nods, shaking heads or yes and no comments made throughout the interchange, but simply an exchange of ideas through the written word, just as would be posting letters to a literal notice board. I think it would be un-natural to post a remark and log off, or not even glance at the number of views or replies in order to fill this "feed-back vacuum".

Xander

Seems like when we leave the BORG we still carry that 'looking for approval' mentality.

I think you are mistaking a common human trait for a bOrg-ism (?borganism?-hmmm)

MOST people have a 'looking for approval' mentality. That's why peer pressure is so powerful in pretty much every level of society. That's why cults like the JWs can get membership so easily - by offering 'their approval' to anybody at all who follows their rules - very attractive to social outcasts who could not get society to 'approve' of them (IE., 'recognize' them, etc) any other way.

Myself?

I hate it when I kill a thread. DAMN, that pisses me off.

ISP

true...Larry!

Some crave the attention! Curse the board and say they are leaving! (yawn) LOL

ISP

Do you get disappointed if no one responds?

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