It dawned on me one day.....

by Flowerpetal 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • Flowerpetal
    Flowerpetal

    There are eight elders in my congregation. All of them have children, except one. One elder has 2 which are both in Bethel. Another elder has a boy (who will probably be his only child) and is about 8 or 9 who has girlish tendencies....so I will have to wait and see how that turns out. Another elder has an only child (girl) who is about 14 and was home schooled. So far, she is OK. Another elder has a daughter who was reproved as of last year, and still is not allowed to comment. She was also a regular pioner.

    The other elders have adult children, some of whom are df'd., one son among them is gay and never got baptized, and his brother is straight and never got baptized. Of these two, their father was not an elder when they were growing up.

    So the majority of elders have had or are having troubles in their families..I find that interesting and curious and makes me wonder that when they "reached out" to become ministerial servants which leads to being an elder, did they put pressure on their kids to be exemplary..but the kids couldn't live up to that..or what? The thing is if there is any dysfunction of any kind in the family, it leaks out some how..in various forms.

    My hubby and I have 2 children: a daughter who will be 24 and still lives at home; and a son who is 17 and will be a senior in HS this year. Neither one is baptized yet--although my son is leaning in that direction more than his sister is. We do not pressure them, because we feel they have to do it for the right reasons...not so that hubby can be an elder or anything like that. I don't like that attitude anyway--or that "exemplary" families should be put up for display for the congregation (such as in demonstrations, etc). because in a lot of instances it comes back to bite you, and takes the family down a couple of notches.

  • Room 215
    Room 215

    Flowerpetal,

    That was one of the main reasons I resigned as an elder about 16 years ago; the situation places undue stress one one's children. There was one old bugger on the elder body who had it in for me, and went poking about the teenagers in the congregation seeking to dig up any possible dirt about my three, so as to throw it in my face. That's when it dawned on me: I've got a great family, a fulfilling job and lots of claims on my time; who needs this?

  • Flowerpetal
    Flowerpetal
    There was one old bugger on the elder body who had it in for me, and went poking about the teenagers in the congregation seeking to dig up any possible dirt about my three, so as to throw it in my face.

    Room, that's terrible!

    I also found it interesting that the elder who had the regular pioneer daughter who was reproved, was the same elder about 2 years ago who talked to my daughter in private after a Sunday meeting. He was reading scriptures to her, and we left the hall with her in tears. She wouldn't tell me what he told her, but it sent her to bed for a couple of hours when we got home.

    I didn't push her to tell me, but to this day, I still have no idea what he said to her. :(

  • crawdad2
    crawdad2

    hi flowerpedal,.......it sounds like a nice description of your elders.........did any of their children commit suicide lately?.......... of course that wouldn't be something you should mention............. and if they did commit suicide, would you feel justified to act like they deserved it, cause they were bad?

    i hope your children don't commit suicide............if they attempted it, would you go along with the elders shunning them????

  • witchywoman
    witchywoman

    Yes you are correct, my youngest daughter says today that she knew something was wrong with this religion because everyone was trying to make her do everything, pushing things on her, give talks, door to door, presenta-tions (which she never did) baptizm. Her father was a MS at the time.
    Please excuse my language flower, but it was to hell with everything (marriage and kids)it was about the facade and how it looked to the brothers that she was not already an active publisher.
    Everthing continues to "look good" for him, he is now an elder.

    witchywoman

  • metatron
    metatron

    Flowerpetal, be careful with this!!!!!!

    It happened to me that way and no one would tell me what happened. It turned out

    they talked my daughter into keeping quiet about being abused - and later, df'd

    her to finish the job.

    You should DEMAND to know what happened!

    metatron

  • Flowerpetal
    Flowerpetal

    crawdad:

    In answer to your questions:

    No

    If they did I would absolutely mention it.

    No

    My children are happy and well adjusted; they have no need to commit suicide. My daughter got over whatever that elder told her that very same day, and has proceeded on with her life.

    If any of my children did attempt suicide (which is highly, highly unlikely) they are my children, and I would give them any aid I could. Plus, my elders would not shun them--they have enough problems of their own with their adult children.

  • Flowerpetal
    Flowerpetal

    Thanks for your concern, Metatron!

    I'm sure it had to do with why my daughter isn't baptized yet. She would have told me otherwise. She was 21 at the time and his daughter was about 16 at the time and they were getting to be good friends.

  • worf
    worf

    Flowerpetal:

    Just out of concern, please listen to Metatron and find out EXACTLY what it was about. Elders can be very sneaky and deceptive. Sometimes you don't realize it until you actually experience it. Believe me. I know. I've been through it from elders all the way to most of the GB members. I'm not saying it is more serious than why she isn't baptized, but you can't put any amount of deception as being impossible with the borg and their elders.

    Just out of concern,

    Worf

  • crawdad2
    crawdad2

    keep living in your dream world flower pedal...................

    your elders have enough problems with their own children???????....they won't bother yours?.......... yup, their ability to raise children in a cult, with cult doctrine is hard, isn't it?............ maybe they won't talk your children into committing suicide,......at least right now................... give it a few months........ maybe an elder will be so frustrated he takes it out on your son,,,,,,,, and reminds him and you it is all confidential....... don't speak out against the body of elders.

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