It dawned on me one day.....

by Flowerpetal 26 Replies latest jw friends

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  witchywoman

  You owe it to your daughter to find out what the elder was talking with her about. If your childs life is at stake, you want to know, and you don`t. You could be right, it may be baptizm he was concerned about. Mind control is very subtle and damaging to ones mental health. Have you ever heard anyone say "yeah, oh yeah that person had problems and I`m not surprised that he or she took her own life."? No, always the opposite. It is always one of shock.
  Suicide is high among JWs, even though your daughter is 21, if she is trying to do the "right thing", you must, must, must find out if she has done the right thing for herself.
  Protect your daughter, do not let her become a victim. Their lives are precious, more precious than doctrine.
  Some children can not withstand the mental torture that comes from the elders counsel, meetings, discussions, accusations, yes, accusations,(she was quiet for 2 hours). Do not let this religion take your daughters life. They have done it to others.
  You owe it to yourself and your daughter.
  Your daughter is alive now. DO IT

  witchywoman
• 

  Gopher

  Crawdad2,

  You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

  Ease up on the rhetoric, eh? Flowerpetal is one of the few open-minded thinking JW's we have on this forum, so let's not trounce on her. She is a good parent and is aware of many of the weaknesses in the JW organization. Give her enough time, she'll get to the right conclusions. Unless she abandons us because someone kept after her.

  Let's not make this forum feel like a place where someone who tries their best still is scolded -- we all got enough of that at the Kingdom Hall.
• 

  joannadandy

  in a lot of instances it comes back to bite you

  This is true in most religions, I am sure plenty of us knew the preacher's sons and daughters were the worst behaved ever. It's a lot of pressure for any kid with a family member in high position, and they are held under stronger interogation lamps too. Behavior in un-spiritual families is often dismissed, while we hold children in ANY religious household to a higher standard. Doesn't seem fair to me.

  As for you crawdad...what the hell is your problem?? Lay off! And how utterly crass and rude of you to suggest her children are suicidal!
• 

  joannadandy

  I think some of us on this board are abuse happy. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but sometimes people can become overly cautious.

  I got pulled aside quite a few times, and left in tears everytime by elders, elders wives, etc. And the topic was always on baptism, and being told I wasn't doing enough, and that at my age I should know better, and didn't I "love Jehovah?" etc. It was a lot of pressure. Good for you Flowerpetal that you are letting your kids make their own way. I am SO thankful to my parents they gave me the same freedom. (Granted I know they aren't entirely pleased with my choice, but I think we are pretty happy and well-adjusted family as far as that goes).

  Take heart flowerpetal, my parents used to want to know what was making me cry all the time too. And I didn't want to tell them because I didn't want them to be pissed by what someone said to me. I was also pretty independent and into making up my own mind, and not needing help from anyone.
• 

  starfish422

  I also found it interesting that the elder who had the regular pioneer daughter who was reproved, was the same elder about 2 years ago who talked to my daughter in private after a Sunday meeting. He was reading scriptures to her, and we left the hall with her in tears. She wouldn't tell me what he told her, but it sent her to bed for a couple of hours when we got home.

  Flowerpetal, isn't it the rule that no elder should ever counsel a sister one-on-one? I would seriously challenge that elder for overstepping his bounds!!! Find out what it was about!
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  crawdad2

  hi joanadandy........... you seem to be quite at ease with elders who talk young women into tears!!!!!!!........ how nice of you!!!!!......... go ahead, ignore the warning signs....... and teach others to ignore them too!!!!......... oh you are so wise!!!! ........ hey, maybe nothing will happen, right?....... after all, nothing like that happens very much in the jw cult right?......... shhhhhh!!!!........ don't mention suicide before it happens....
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  joannadandy

  Crawdad it amazes me what an expert you are on every individual case...you sit in on all elder conversations?
• 

  crawdad2

  joanadandy........ it amazes me that you find it ok for a non qualified man with no bonified training to counsel a young lady into to tears........ and you support it, not knowing the facts as well.

  and it illustrates the mental frame of mind that jw parents have............. "we trust our elders"......"they would never cause a suicide"......
• 

  joannadandy

  Crawdad what is your qualification to suggest that flowers children are suicidal?

  You seem to dole out just as much advice as any elder I know, did you go to school for that?

  I never said I support it, I am saying I can relate, do I think it was ok for them to make me cry, of course not, I am just saying you are jumping to conclusions. Is it right they have the power to make people cry no. But you know what lots of people have made me cry in my life, and I don't go ballistic on them either, but that's just me, I know how to deal with anger issues.
• 

  SYN

  Oh boy...this is one of the most surreal threads on JWD...