??? what would you change ??? (page 4)

Windchaser

(((((Deb, with the big heart)))))

I went a little crazy just before my son died and didn't sit by his bedside the way I should have. I regret that. Someone told me that I did the best that I could at the time. I want to say that to you. In the situation of not saying goodbye and telling your dad that you loved him, you did the best you could at the time. Maybe it would have been the worse case scenerio and he wouldn't have remembered you. In your heart you knew that you loved him. Maybe he knew that, too.

I don't know what happens when we die, but if there is life after death, your father already knows that you love him. If there isn't, it doesn't matter any more. Be happy that you are a loving, good-hearted person who feels this pain because you really did care about him.

After Eric died, I was eaten up with guilt. One night I had a very vivid dream and I told him that I was so sorry for not being there as much as I could have been. He said, "That's okay, Mom." And then we hugged, for a very long time, and I knew it was okay. Tera, I wish you could visualize the same thing for you. Think of yourself in a beautiful garden. Tell your dad that you are sorry. Hug him. Feel him hug you back. And really believe that he has forgiven you and knows that you love him. He wouldn't want you to be sad this way, thinking of him with regret. Remember the reasons why you loved him. That is the best tribute you can give anyone who is gone out of your life.

I believe what's been said, that good comes even from bad decisions or mistakes we've made and life is too short to keep kicking ourselves over things that can't be changed. I went through my list of what I would change, but the truth is, if I had to do it again, I would probably still screw up. (((((((Tera)))))))

witchywoman

The thing that I regret the most, would be not persuing the love of my life.(we met at work) We spent many hours talking of each others problems.(both still married) The things we talked about led to my being dsfd. The only people that knew of the contents of our conversations were he and I. Something I told him about myself led him to a reaction that I was not prepared for. I was prepared to leave this man alone and return to the lie. I did not expect a future with him. I tried several times to return to the lie and could not sit through a talk, (Always hearing about dsfd ones) which would be me. We stayed friends for 10 years and shared something that can not be compared to any of my other relationships. About two years ago he was making his way back into my life as more than a friend when his sudden death left me without one of the best people I have ever come to know and love. A day does not pass without thinking of him.
It is my fault that I let a religion dictate to me what I could and couldn`t do, who I could and couldn`t talk to. I know Zev that you said leaving jw doesn`t count. My biggest mistake in life was letting a religion come between myself and someone that I loved. I am grateful for the time we did havee and that he was a part of my life for a little while.

Oh by the way that was best sex I`ve ever had in my life.
Just thought I`d throw that in.

witchywoman

zenpunk

I would have fought like hell to go to college - but I'm sure my parents would have fought like hell for me not to go.

Solace

I sometimes wonder how things may have turned out if I had made different choices. I dont dwell on things I cant change though. I do let my past experience influence the choices I currently make in life.

CC Ryder

I agree with you Heaven...My experiences in life led me to right where I am today...Happily married...and free of suppression.....Thanks

CC Ryder

peachypoof

Ok enough of you are not admitting the truth......Yeah the past has made you what you are today!

But you can not sit there and tell me you have no i mean nothing you want to change in your past?

Nothing?

I think maybe you should really take a look back! We all make mistakes! Be human! Admit One!

Here's one of mine:

I married at 18 years of age to a man that chose me as his (witness wife)! Was not my soul mate!

after years of listening to him say things like I am sorry I am no longer sexually attracted to you because you have gained weight................I dumped him! I can sit here today and admit i made a mistake! So Try It! You might realize something knew about Yourself! Admitting one is not the end of the world! It is a beginning for the pain to heal and you to be a better person!

So I dare everyone who said they have no regrets to stand up and start healing!

sincerely,

Peachypoof

sincerely

Solace

Peachy,

I understand where you are comming from but the things that I would change, are things that were not in my control. I was raised a witness and had basically no control over that part of my life. I was in awful situations when I was younger that I could have avoided I suppose. I never really thought about having regrets. When I turned 18, I left home and wavered between active and inactive, studying and not studying. I had the oppritunity to get baptized but I made the choice not to. If I would have gotten baptized, that would be the first thing on my list. I am currently in control of my own life and it feels damn good. I believe that my adult life is what I make it. No regrets. Thats just me.

CC Ryder

Peachy...I also married at 18 with my first wife....I regret it took 21 years to come to the conclusion that we were too young and using the 1975 thing as an excuse to leave our parents(we married in 1974)...but some of us truly are glad for the experiences....even the unpleasant ones...thanks for your comments....

CC

??? what would you change ???

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