JW's Are People Just Like You and Me

Sentinel

Hello All My New Friends Here,

When I disassociated myself back in 1981, there were only just a couple instances afterwards, where the Jdubs came to my door in the service of their ministry. During those times, I would never ever answer the door. I don't want to use the word "hate" here, but I could not distinguish between my feelings for the org and the individual. Just their presence made me well up with feelings of great anger. On the one hand, I wanted to yank open the door and landblast them. On the other hand, I just didn't want to ever have to engage in any type of discussion with them ever again.

A couple months ago, their service activity really picked up here in the new neighborhood where we live. (There for awhile, in several areas we lived, I hadn't noticed them at all. ??) I was feeling especially wonderful one bright sunny day. The doorbell rang, and I had already determined they were on our street. This was it. I was ready.

I opened the door to find a pleasant looking middle aged Black lady, with a young female friend with her. I smiled and greeted them with such exuberance. They seemed to be taken aback for a minute. I let them do their introduction, and then stopped them. I began to "witness" to them, if you will. I told them that I appreciated them having to come out on such a very hot day. I asked her if she worked and she said yes, and then I said that working and having to go to five meetings a week and try to meet the ten hour a month minimum for service was rough wasn't it. She appeared quizical at my expressions.

I told her that I had been involved many years ago seriously. I even pioneered. When I couldn't meet the demands of being an "official" pioneer, I still worked only part time to be able to serve as much as I could. I told her that I knew what she was doing, but that I had learned that I would rather be free to make my own decisions about life than to be involved in a religion that dictates my every move. I explained that I was totally happy and fulll of joy--something I never had while being a JW.

She then inquired about my status. She wanted to know if I was df'd. When I said no, she began to express some of her own thoughts. She told me that the minute I opened the door and she saw me, there was a deffinite aura about my person. She felt happy to be with me and around me, and wanted to listen to what I had to say. For many months she had been having these thoughts about why certain things happen in the org, and why they are so strict about so many things. Rules forl this and rules for that. And, still it is never enough.

Suddenly, I could tell that she was beginning to feel guilty, because she had spoken in front of this other young sister. She asked me if she could come back and see me, just herself. She said she had many questions. One fact she said as she left, she would like to be as happy as me.

I felt so much empathy for her, as one human being to another. I could see myself in her, and when I came back inside, I was overflowing with great joy and satisfaction for having finally answered the door. It had been over 20 years! I felt no anger at all. That was all gone from me.

That was a turning point for me. It brough back to mind, something that had happened to me many years ago when I was at a strangers door. A sweet older woman greeted me. She let me give my little speech. Then she kindly declined any literature and said that she wanted to give me something to remember. She said: "you believe with all your heart that you are doing the right thing. One day, you will be released of this great burden and you will remember me."

I have never forgotten her words. ...for those words came true.

I'd love to hear your responses.

Karen/Sentinel

DanTheMan

Karen:

Enjoyed your post.

Yesterday a car pulled up at my next door neighbor's house. It was a four door sedan. I only had a partial view, but a man in a suit and a lady in a dress got out. I thought to myself "here they come!" My heart raced. So...I shut my front door and closed my blinds in order to give an appearance of not being at home. I know it sounds somewhat cowardly, but I only have been out 3 months, and dealing w/Watchtowerists is way too emotional for me right now. I know what you mean about it being hard to separate feelings for the rank and file Watchtowerists with feelings toward the Crooklyn borg. Turns out they weren't Watchtowerists, it was my neighbor's son and his wife visiting for father's day.

I hope the lady you wrote of comes back. She sounds like she might have some doubts. I'm surprised that she said the things she did. She's probably experiencing what many middle aged Watchtowerist women go through: seeing her own kids or her long-time friend's kids getting DF'd or fading away, marital problems, questioning whether or not the years she has spent as a JW have been truly worthwhile, depression, etc.

I also can relate to your experience with the lady who told you you'd remember her. I remember being a newbie Watchtowerist going door-to-door in an affluent neighborhood. We came to one door, a very beautiful middle-aged woman answered. But there was something more to her that just prettiness. She seemed to have a complete peace about her. She said that she admired our "zest", but that she believed that you are saved by grace. I never forgot her.

crawdad2

hi sentinel,

what if it would have been a nice haughty elder, and his minesterial servant buddy?..... and they gave you their 'look down their nose' presentation?........ how would you have handled that?

Nikita

Karen,

What a great way to approach the whole matter! Maybe, too, she got to see that those who have left aren't these awful people doomed to destruction at Armmageddon! Maybe some good will come of it all and perhaps both of these women will be "released of this great burden".

Nikita

SYN

Great job Sentinel!

hillary_step

What a wonderful post Karen - thanks - HS

Lady Lee

It is so wonderful when people stop being afraid of the power of the slaves. From my recent witnessing to the JWs at my door I have clearly seen they are indeed the slaves. Hopefully a kind and loving witness to them will open their minds and help set them free.

Even if she doesn't come back a seed is planted. Now it needs time for it to grow

Bravo

beckyboop

((((((((((((((((((((((Karen))))))))))))))))))))))))))

What a beautiful and loving person you've become! I too have had such feelings of anger when I see jw's, and it's very hard to separate individuals from the entity. You did that very well--I hope that I too will be able to give a calm description of my unhappy jw life to a witness someday. You most certainly planted more seeds in her, as well as gave her a reason to come back and vent more. Being able to talk is one of the biggest and hardest steps we make when we doubt! Please keep us posted if possible.

Love,

Becky

RedhorseWoman

Sentinel, what a great opportunity you had. Oddly enough, if you were still active you would have said that Jehovah guided you to express the attitude you did that day. Who knows, maybe He did.

I sometimes wonder how I would react if JWs came to my door. During the nine years I've lived in my current house, the only time a JW has come by was to leave the "special tract" last year, and that was a quick ring of the bell, stuff the tract in the door, and sprint down the walk before I could even get to the door.

I've run into JWs several times in the supermarket, and we've had pleasant conversations (to be honest, I hadn't seen one sister for so long that I didn't remember she was a JW until I connected the polyester-suited husband with modestly dressed wife wearing discreet pumps on a Saturday afternoon at the supermarket).

I've recently tried to reconnect with several former JW friends, hoping that perhaps we could openly discuss things, but so far, I've found only those who are still VERY active and who question nothing. Needless to say, as soon as I don't eagerly respond with "Oh boy! I can't wait to get back to the Hall!" they fade away.

I guess our reactions need to be based on the situation. Many years ago, I invited several sisters into my home and mentioned to them that I was inactive and wanted help to get back to the Hall. They simply stared at me with horrified looks and rushed out the door, never to return....even though I invited them to.

Sentinel

Crawldad,

On that particular day, I don't believe it would have mattered. I was ready! I didn't wait to see who was coming to my door, as to whether or not I would answer it. No doubt their attitude mighy have affected my response somewhat, but I would have tried not give them the satisfaction of seeing me shiver in my shoes. These people do not intimidate me because they have no hold on me whatsoever anymore. Normally, I wouldn't give them the time of day. But, this was a point of closure for me, and a long time coming.

As far as Elders, etc., not too much bothers me now as far as one person being any better than another. I work with Judges and I deal with offenders. They both have to urinate and brush their teeth, and eat food, and all the other human things we all do. When you think of them that way, it kinda takes the edge off.

I think I would greet them the exact same way I greeted her. If they became haughty, I might feel that rage more than anything else, but I would try to keep calm. Remember, I didn't invite them onto my property or my porch, and I certainly didn't ask them to ring my doorbell. If they acted haughty, I would probably have told them to "get a life" and leave me alone.

I may give off the impression that I'm a whimpy female, but I can assure you...I don't take too much crap from anybody any more. I might be "over the hill", but I had to make it to the top to see the other side".

...And of course, all things in love.

Karen/Sentinel

JW's Are People Just Like You and Me

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