Waiting's Never-ending Joke Thread

by Seven 305 Replies latest social humour

  • Caole
    Caole

    Hi Waiting!

    This is a great thread, but I seem to recall you saying that you're tired of seeing your name(in the title) popping up all the time. The only solution I can think of is to ask Seven to edit the topic title and remove the never-ending part

    By the way, I've been to SC twice in the last 3 years and must say that I was impressed, to say the least! Hope all is well

  • Seven
    Seven

    LOL Caole!! That's the ticket!

  • Caole
    Caole

    Hey Seven...the resemblance is uncanny isn't it?

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    I just wanted to thank everyone for their contributions. I love reading them.

    I especially loved the little boy on the phone one (on pg.8)

  • Seven
    Seven

    *

  • Caole
    Caole

    Nice one Seven...can I kick him first?

  • waiting
    waiting

    Hey Caole,

    Your picture surprised me! I didn't look at your name close enough and assumed it said "carol." Big assumption, eh?

    Nice to meet you as a man........ Like your picture jokes.

    **********************
    Three very devout women died and went to heaven. Saint Peter met them at the gate and told them they would have to answer a question before they could get into heaven.

    To the first one, he asked, "Who was the first man who lived on the earth." She said, "That's an easy one it was Adam." The harps played, the doves flew and gates opened up and she went right into heaven.

    Saint Peter asked the second woman the following question: Who was the first women on earth and she said, "That's any easy one, it was Eve." The harps played, the doves flew, the gates opened up and she went right into heaven.

    The third devout women came up and Saint Peter asked her "What where the first words that Eve said to Adam." She thought and thought and thought and finally she said, "Boy that's a hard one." And the harps played, the doves flew and the gates opened up and she went right into heaven.

    Howdy Seven!

    Like your "." Any significance?

    waiting

  • zev
    zev

    Things That Irritate A Sane Person

    You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.

    The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.

    The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.

    There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.

    You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.

    It's bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you don't realize it till you walk across your living room rug.

    The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works for you.

    There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.

    You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.

    Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.

    You drink from a soda can into which someone has extinguished a cigarette.

    You slice your tongue licking an envelope.

    Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading.

    A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.

    There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray.

    You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.

    The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.

    A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling.

    You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.

    The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.

    You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.

    People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up.

    Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.

    You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.

    You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just browsing.

    You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now you can't find it.

    You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.

    and...

    Yur waiting for that all important delivery from Fedex....and when you answer the door bell....its 2 j-dubs selling watchtowers.


    __
    Zev
    The greatest consistancy of the WTBTS is their INconsistancy.

  • Caole
    Caole

    Hi Waiting, That's not really my picture...I cropped the pic of the man with the big glass of wine, and used his head for my profile pic(sigh...another sad attempt at humor, I suppose) You are right about me being a man. I had a feeling that I was being thought of as a woman by some, but wasn't sure. At any rate...it was a pleasure meeting you both times, and I like your jokes too

  • Cowboy
    Cowboy

    I've been meaning to post some jokes,but I always want to read the whole thread first to make sure I don't repeat one,and I can't seem to get it all read.Which reminds me of this one;

    An inmate is settling down for his first night in prison.Shortly after the lights go out,someone yells out "23" and everyone laughs heartily.Then someone else calls out "52" and again,everyone laughs.
    As this goes on,the new guy asks his cellmate"hey,what's all this about?",the cellmate replys"Well,we just kept telling the same jokes over and over,so we finally just gave them numbers".The new guy decided this was neat and he wanted to join in,so the next time it got quiet he shouted "17",but nothing happened,not even a chuckle.Unsure what his wrong,he asked his cellmate why no one laughed.He replyed "Well,some people just can't tell a joke."

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