Assembly today, Survival Tips and Recommendations Please!

by Blackfalcon98 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • WTWizard
    Do you have a Nintendo DS or 3DS? A Pokemon game you would like to do some work on? These sessions are long enough so you can seriously level up Pokemon and advance into the game. Just make sure the battery is fully charged before going. You can use any other video game, but Pokemon is one that lasts a good long time and you can put it down in the event of distraction.
  • rebel8

    I like the tally idea.

    Doodle a very complex, intricate design that has "cult" hidden in it.

    Take notes by writing down only the most crazy things they say. Embellish for fun. Or bring a tiny device that makes the smallest noise on command. Ring it every time they say some rule that's not in the Bible.

    In case someone peeks on your notes, add juicy personal reminders to yourself about masturbation being evil.

    Or make a big title of your notes page in black marker quoting the scripture about the Pharisees making rules that aren't in the bible, then just write your notes like normal underneath.

    Be the loudest clapper and singer in the joint.

    Smile from ear to ear nonstop like the Joker.

    During the breaks, discuss the program with Stepford Wives' positivity and intelligence. Be sure to use the same sing songy voice, vacant stare and forced smile.

    Dress just 1 click past the avg dub. Go all out with the jw dot org stuff or super spiritual clothing.

    Bring a small carry-on bag filled with publications. Hey, bookbags are a mark of spirituality--yours will be biggest--you win!

    Bring a full array of different colors of highlighters and pens. Color code while you take incessant notes.

    Blow your nose constantly.

    Every time they mention demons/Satan, mumble gibberish and gently roll your head and eyes back every time they say it. Then snap out of it and pretend like nothing happened.

    Go to the practical joke store:

    • wear a fake rotten tooth and smile a lot
    • they have these tablets called Pee Pucks--you just put them in the toilet tank and it turns the water yellow--then amuse yourself by listening for how many times the next person flushes
    • fart noise makers and smell makers
  • FayeDunaway

    Oogie, I figured since the convention has a Jesus theme he might be mentioned this time. Of course less than the governing body tho. And I forgot to add JW.Borg to the list. Duh!

    Rebel8 I love the Pharisees and demon suggestions especially!!

  • Brokeback Watchtower
    Brokeback Watchtower

    I recommend ear plugs. It is important that you keep that dumb shit from fouling up your neuronal networks and spitting out garbage; like the old saying garbage in means garbage out. You don't want to listen too closely to what these delusional lying CEOs are offering as spiritual food because it shrinks your brain though lack of use and faulty logic.

    Also practice drawing mandalas they help center the mind.

  • FayeDunaway
    Fantastic idea bw! Go with wax earplugs...extremely effective and not even visible.
  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    Counting all the different colors. How many people wearing each color. How many people with grey, blonde, brown hair, etc.

    Count how many people sitting in end seats get dislodged by attendants seating late arrivals. How many people coughing and sneezing without covering their mouths. How many leave the restroom without washing their hands. How many vain females playing with their hair non-stop, flipping it first on one side of their heads, now on the other side, now fluffing it up with their claw-like fingernails. How many people clicking their pens all day as if they were launching torpedoes. How many sisters awkwardly teetering around the place on high heels.

    There's plenty to do at a jw convention!



    Assembly today, Survival Tips and Recommendations Please!

    .................Image result for walk away

  • rebel8

    Carry a tote bag that says, "Resistance is futile."

    Bring a copy of the 1934 Yearbook, carefully highlighting the anti-Semitic and pro-Nazi statements as you slowly read it during the talks.

  • FayeDunaway
    I used to pass my time counting the lights on the ceiling. I still remember...there were 130!
  • millie210
    I wanna go to an assembly with rebel8!~

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