If Your JW Parent Died Would YOU Go To The Kingdom Hall For The Talk? (page 5)

darth frosty

I would and I did (discussed here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/186961/1/My-mother-died-this-morning

Last post talks about how it was handled they did a great job.

Yes... I do go to funerals of old "friends" if Sis Blues wants to go. Personal relationships are important. Of course it is easy for me to say since I am still treated o k by the dubs. What if I were d/f'd ? What if the deceased parent had shunned me ?

I think I would still go. We have to show that we are better than them. To shun back is putting ourselves down at their level. I would go, smile at anyone who caught my eye and do all I could to look successful .

Investigator74

A very heart to heart thread!! I will possibly soon be attending a JW parent funeral. My father has been a elder well over 40 years. I DA'ed many, many moons ago. I have visited and spoken over the phone to my parents over the years with no shunning applied to me or my siblings(who are DFed). But on my last visit , I wasn't allowed to sleep over, though I was allowed to visit, which I found strange due to sleeping over in the past,even just for a night. My mother stated it was my father's decision. I feel at this time he is doing anything he can to make points with Jehovah before he exits this world. I will go to his services even though it would be held at the KH, because my parents and I kept contact for all those years. Fortunely I have a lot of relatives who are not JWs that will attend ,so that will take my mind off the negative feelings I'm sure to experience there. It ashame to be put in a position like this with your own parents, but this is the cult they chose to stay in and that I decided to escape.

FadeToBlack

My wife and I already solved this issue (for our childern) after her mother's funeral talk (infomercial) at the KH. We have both made it known (verbal and legal) that we do not want any type of service, anywhere. Cremation is expected. No talks, least costs, get on with your lives. But, a drink and a toast is expected some time after the fact.

talesin

Everyone has their back story, and I really do feel that going to a memorial service, where *every single person, blood and otherwise* has shunned me since I was 20 years old, would be letting them re-offend me with their abuse. The last time, my grandfather's (maternal), it took me months to recover. And that wasn't in a KH, it was just the visitation at the funeral home. I was the ONLY ONE who visited Grampy at least 5 days a week in the nursing home. But I learned that night, to do my grieving alone.

Also, some parents don't deserve respect. Don't forget how many of us were sexually abused, and nothing was done. We have parents, parents who either knew, covered it up, or participated, so don't judge anyone if you have not walked a mile in his or her shoes.

I encourage anyone who is an Adult Survivor, either male or female, to search old content/threads for people's stories, and some really healing discussions. :))

So when y'all say 'of course', it makes me cringe. There is no 'of course' or so-called 'normal' behaviour in cults.

peace and love

**Edit: Grampy wasn't a JW, he liked Herbert W. Armstrong and the WWCOG, but he wanted to have a JW memorial service. He believed they had 'the Truth', but wouldn't give up tobacco. I miss you, Grampy!

Giordano

My wife and I attended 4 funeral services. Only one brother took the time to learn about the deceased. At the most they used 3 to 5 minutes before the all important commercial. I never heard the Lazarus part without wanting to get up and say...... "just remember the poor guy had to die all over again."

KWJoe

I have attended three funeral services since being df'd twenty years ago......my mother, my nephew and my best friend. I sat with my family and was offered sympathy, usually with a hug, by the majority of JWs in attendance. Even at the funeral of my friend, condolences were offered by many.

Hairyhegoat

No never setting foot in a Kingdom hall ever again. My mom passed away in 2008 and I have not seen or heard off my dad or brother/sisters since.

Dad is a coffin dodger and he can bury himself without me or my family in attendace. I think I hate my dad for been such a moron getting involved with this cult. A waisted childhood and teenage years also that cannot be got back. No I won't be going to his funeral. He is a stubbon selfish man that thinks hes right and I'm an apostate . So fcuk him !

HHG

Honesty

No.

My shadow will never again darken the doorway to satan's den.

JWdaughter

My mom doesn't want any kind of service. I would still go. She has been twisted by "the truth" but is my mom and I love her. No one in the hall will do that for a widow of a non JW who is not a pioneer or even aux pioneer and who forces herself to answer at meetings. She buys most of it, forgives it the rest. Iguess that is what she does with her kids too. Sees the good in us and what she doesn't like, she gets over and loves us anyway. That is what family is for.

OTOH, if one of them starts in on anything to do with their belief system, I will firmly remove myself from the scene. Maybe not in a particularly gracious way (no scenes, just not gonna pretend to be interested just to be polite.)

And next time, if they want to give her blood, I will simply keep my mouth shut. If there is an emergency, I now consider blood a don't ask, don't tell situation. If she states her wishes-fine. If she can't. I'm silent. Her last few surgeries were done w/o the need for blood, butthey scared the pee outa me knowing she wouldn't get any if she needed it. She is nearly 80-its not our biggest worry at this point, but who knows? She shows few signs of aging, actually.

If Your JW Parent Died Would YOU Go To The Kingdom Hall For The Talk?