What triggered your doubts / awakening?

by Tornintwo 64 Replies latest jw experiences

  • fiddler

    I actually had a bit of a melt down...mid life crisis...and ended up doing something that was DF worthy but there was so much that led up to the melt down. Lack of love and gossip within the Congregation was certainly a big factor but so was the Bible itself. The change in generation doctrine in 1995 bugged me but even more than that was listening to the paralells in radical Islam and what I was reading in the Bible. Being a woman I felt very offended by the patriarchal attitudes of the Bible. It is sad that the JWs actually can point the finger at me and say I did do something DF worthy (in their book) but there are so many Jdubs that are accepted back into the congregation after doing the same. The difference was that I didn't go back. They think it is because of 'pride' but that is not the case. My mistakes are my own and I own them and have been forgiven for them by most everyone that mattered (with the exception of my JW daughter).

    I didn't go back because I dug deeper and found the whole belief system AND the Bible to be seriously flawed. My journey out was probably the culmination of a lot of cognitive dissonance but unfortunately, I will not be taken seriously by most Jdubs because of my early mistakes. I'm so glad that there are so many now that left solely because of disbelief. So many of you are sticking with your JW mates while being treated abhorently in the name of this religion.

  • LisaRose

    It was the cumulative effects of a lot of things, being stuck in a bad marriage to a disfellowshipped person. Being treated like a second class citizen because of that. Health and family issues that made it more and more difficult to live the JW life, and being judged for that. Having a better than average job where I was respected and paid the same as a man doing the same work made it odd to be treated as a "lesser vessel" by the brothers.

    Learning to think logically and starting to question things, like the generation change, because i had been around in 1975 and didn't get how "this generation" could be more than one generation. Seeing the question from the readers about the UN and thinking, huummm.

    I finally reached a breaking point and it all just hit me one day that there was no evidence that the Watchtower had any special knowledge or was in any way being directed by God.

  • Tornintwo

    Hi Lisa rose, sorry I pressed dislike instead of like, they're too close together ... I like your post! It's so true that if your struggling, or have 'problems' in your family such as abuse, non believing spouse etc,you are the last to get encouragement, we are just shoved to the side whilst the prominent ones get all the love/hospitality. It's so opposite to how Jesus lived.

    So many stories it's really fascinating, we should all write a book. Interesting how most of us had a buildup of nagging doubts which eventually reached 'critical mass', just shows how much it takes to break into that level of indoctrination.

    It's encouraging to me to see how many feel the need to stay in for family, that's where I am right now, irregular but hanging in there. One child is in and one is out, hence Tornintwo, I don't think my 'in' child can handle me leaving right now, she's fragile. It's tough. I wonder how many more are 'in' around the world but out mentally.

    I Think if the generation teaching changes again, as some have suggested, many more could become disillusioned. Thanks for all the great posts x

  • Tornintwo

    Fiddler. You are so right about radical Islam comparison. I saw a newspaper article recently about ISIS stoning a couple to death for fornication, with photos. It was barbaric.

    I still believe in Jesus but I don't get the OT violence. In meetings we read about these violent acts and just gloss over the gory bits, to find some lesson from someone's obedience or right attitude, no one stops to say, hey, that's sick! It kills your natural compassion.

  • FayeDunaway
    Has anyone read the studs Terkel book 'working'...it is a compilation of basically essays about people's various jobs and how they feel about them. I bet we could do something similar based on our individual experiences of either leaving or bearing with the witnesses.
  • Ucantnome
    There was a Watchtower that altered the understanding I had of a scripture. After a while and discussions with several people and elders I came to the conclusion that my support of the preaching work could not continue unless I felt convinced of the things preached. After more research and final discussion with elders it came to the point that it wasn't of any value attending the hall. I tried a couple of times with a slightly different viewpoint and as new light emerged and with further discussions with an elder to attend the hall again, but it proved to be short lived.
  • KateWild

    Injustice is what woke me and my kids up. We experienced domestic violence and the elders Df'd me because I exposed it and they wanted to shut me up.

    Here is a youtube of my story and the JC meeting with the elders. It's over 30 mins so watch it when you have time.

    Kate xx


  • Slave4_38y
    I was born with doubts! As a three year old toddler I could not fathom the idea of a "loving" god having a disobedient child pelted with stones until death occurs. I tried to believe the lies for forty years. A couple of months back I came across an internet meme that I think was spawned by joe134cd: What's the between jw. org and lds. org? lds. org has a extra letter! I immediately logged on to the lds website and it hit me like a ton of bricks! The "truth" is actually a lie.
  • Alligator Wisdom
    Alligator Wisdom


    And with EVERY active JW that I mentioned about this, not a single one denied that it exists in the organization.

    Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother NOT Exerting Vigorously)

  • Introvert 2
    Introvert 2

    For me it was a brother that I met 15 years ago who dared me to research lingering doubts I have always harbored, such as the GB's own claims of being the only WAY and their crazy self justifying dates. But I must say that my recent awakening has not diminished my love of God nor his son Jesus. If anything Bible truth is getting brighter for me.

    Reading NewBoy's Bethel experiences were great for shock value, but I have since let off researching the negative things and am looking at building myself up on the positives. COC is a must reda also. I'm not quite through it, I go at it gradually as it cam be too much all at once.

Share this