my first post! (long read sorry in advance)

by Letts Party 46 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • James Jackson
    James Jackson

    You just never know how many are interested in your story!

    Great post, nothing to fear here. With a pioneer wife, I would think that you would been appointed to serve by now.

    Even though I am still in, my mind drifts in and out during all the meetings. I am thankful that they have wifi at the hall so I can check my email, surf the web, etc.

  • Apognophos

    Nice, Ann. Now I'm imagining a "Lett Party" where all the guests wear fake eyebrows and make weird facial expressions while gesticulating wildly.

  • OnTheWayOut

    Hello and welcome.

    In a disturbing way, we have essentially the same message the Westboro Baptist church has. The only difference is they say it to your face BEFORE they recruit you. We slip it in AFTER using much nicer, and less antagonizing language once it’s already too late, and once you’ve been conditioned to accept the Borg’s word as gospel. (oh the humanity).

    I love how you came up with such a thought. I had thought how JW's are just as hateful and pretend they are not, but your thought sums that up so nicely.

    My only question now is what to do??? My wife is a long time pioneer and heavily emotionally invested in the org. ..........
    She’s open to the possibility that the GB isn’t god’s mouthpiece, she’s open to the idea that perhaps we should be able to interpret the bible ourselves (why would god make it so that humans need an organization to interpret it for them???). She said she would leave it in my hands if we ever have a child and that child needs a blood transfusion to save his/her life (thank goodness!!!).

    We here at JWN, of course, do not have all the answers. You are doing great so far with your wife. My JW wife is not at all open to the idea that Watchtower is not the truth. Deep down, I hope she would let me save a child with a blood transfusion, but we just aren't going to have children. There's a whole bunch of other issues that will come up with them- birthdays, holidays, college, sports, yadda yadda.

    It's standard canned advice, but I must give it. Before you figure out which path to take, do your reading. People here highly recommend the following: Steve Hassan's books- Combatting Cult Mind Control, Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves, and Freedom of Mind.

    The first one, CCMC, would be for a personal journey into understanding. That would be helpful for your wonderful wife.
    The third one, FOM, is meant to replace the second and is available online at right away for download. This would be helpful for you to help another person such as your wife or your parents to slowly wake up to the truth.

    Also, directly on the subject are Ray Franz' two books, Crisis of Conscience and In Search of Christian Freedom.

    Beyond the standard recommendations, only you know how much you can tolerate. Some people need to stop all JW activities as quickly as possible and some try to fade out from activity slowly enough to keep their family from freaking out. Having children in or out, having a spouse in or out, family, career with or without JW's- all factors that come into play. I had to fade out, but in less than a year, once I was sure that I wasn't "in the truth." I have maintained a good relationship with my JW wife, her JW family, my JW mother- all despite them clearly knowing I won't go back. I am not disfellowshipped and my wife won't turn me in for doing non-JW stuff like birthdays and holidays with non-JW family. I regularly meet with other ex-JW's via and those I met on this forum.

  • KateWild

    Thanks for your story. I enjoyed reading it. Your journey out can be successful if you take things one step at a time. Alternatively you may choose to stay in for family.

    We are glad you have woken up. Thanks for telling us.

    Kate xx

  • kairos

    Thanks for posting.

    "Lett's Party" is a total crack-up name! Made my day.

    Getting out takes time. I made the mistake in saying too much too soon to my still in wife.

    Reminds me of when we first got the "truth" and said too much too soon and drove all of our "worldly friends" away from us.

    Dial it back. Be patient. Ask for your wife's view on "bible understanding" without using WT publications.

    Have her put it in writing and to take her time. Be willing to hear her out and beware the tendancy to insult her faith or the ORG as this will be taken personally. Give her as much time as she needs. ( a year or longer if that is what it takes ).

    It's taken me four years to get where I am today, don't expect here to wake up overnight.

    Your story has little pieces of all of us in it to some degree. Thanks for taking the time to post it here.

  • dabster

    Welcome Lett's Party, great to read your post(s) and to have you here. May I make a suggestion? If I were you, once I'd read Dawkins' The God Delusion, I'd also read Alister and Joanne McGrath's The Dawkins Delusion: Atheist Fundamentalism and the Denial of the Divine. McGrath was evidently an atheist himself before becoming a Christian theologian and "subjects Dawkin's critique of faith to rigorous scrutiny" (

    I look forward to reading more from you!

  • MrMonroe

    Loved your post -- and welcome to the real life. I'm so glad Wikipedia became part of your window to the truth. I have helped write many of those articles and continue to strive to ensure they are accurate, balanced and based entirely on facts any reader can verify. My wife and I both woke up to the truth about six years ago, left and never returned. It is as if we have reclaimed our lives, and we feel both bitter and embarrassed that we were conned for so long. Life is too short to give it to a deceived and deceitful high-control religion. All the very best with your challenge re your wife. My best advice: take it gently.

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