You sound like a an intelligent compassionate person that loves his wife.
If I can offer some help to your progress in fading away from this organization, I would go quietly and slowly,
don't be confrontational in drawing up notice from elders and nosy JWS.
If someone starts inquiring as to your lack of belief be brief or ( just say none of your business),
JWS are noted for taking someones comments and using it against them to demean and dishonor that individual,
at the same time showing their own spiritual strength and loyalty.
Seen it many times.
In other words tread lightly.
If you haven't notice this web site has an enormous base of information specifically on just about any subject concerning the JW organization.
It has been up and running for 10 years now so you can image the information it has.
Using the search link at the top can be helpful when looking for topics of interest..