My Wife Now Questions God
Ok fucking great! Me wife is exempt from both angles! HA! ive lesrned i have to leave it to her
Paul wrote that even the people of the nations had the Law written within them [edit: JWdaughter beat me to this point]. This was his way of explaining why people are innately disposed to follow certain basic moral laws. Our sense of empathy is maybe 75% of what prevents us from doing bad things, and fear of punishment is the other 25%. Or maybe it's 50% empathy, 25% fear of punishment, and 25% fear of disapproval by society or loved ones. A few people are lacking enough in all three areas that they are sociopaths or they become career criminals. But your wife already knows that people like that exist. The question is just what prevents her from being a bad person.
Someone here recently posted the breakdown of prisoners by religion, and only something like 2-4% were atheist. If not believing in God removed one's moral restraints then why aren't there more atheists in prison? Ultimately religion is just a veneer, essentially a vestige of one's upbringing, that contributes little to our actual moral fiber.
But people are taught that they need it, like (to repeat a recent analogy of mine) a kid needs training wheels on his bike. Maybe that's true at first, but once the kid gets old enough, he doesn't need the extra wheels anymore (that is, adults telling him what's right and wrong); he's got his own inner sense of balance built up and can ditch the wheels. He might be afraid to at first, but that doesn't change the fact that he doesn't need them anymore.
Don't try to convince her that there's a God that cares about her. There's no evidence for such a thing, and I think she knows it already. It's like encouraging an adult to go back to believing in Santa Claus because it will make them feel better. You should simply point out to your wife that the very fact that she's worried about what will happen to her morality shows that she has nothing to be worried about. If she were naturally amoral, she would look forward to her impending loss of faith as a good opportunity to start doing bad stuff. Or at least she wouldn't worry about what kind of person she'd become.
She was drawn to the religion's sense of morality in the first place, wasn't she? That is enough evidence that she already had within her the desire to be moral. It's true that the association at the Hall, while sometimes toxic, also tends to help keep people on the straight and narrow. So certainly encourage her to make some "worldly" friends who are good association, if she hasn't already.
It can be a bit scary taking off the training wheels, and it's natural to wobble a bit at first, but once you realize you don't need them anymore, it's an enlightening experience. I consider it maybe the only true epiphany I've had in my life: the day when I realized that I could continue to follow as many of my religion's teachings that I wanted to, even if I was to leave the religion.
Across religious groups and cultures, the moral standards are all very similar, because it is not God but humans that define morals. This is because morals are in the best interest of humans.
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is a common theme, as is karma, because the way you treat others affects how you will be treated. A person does not need a religion to tell them not to smoke, it is a sensible choice if you value you health and looks. Each common moral standard usually has reasoning behind it.
Interestingly, premarital sex is no longer considered immoral by many people, whereas once it was. That is because the consequences are no longer as great. Contraception and medicine means that you can have premarital sex without the high risk of illegitimate pregnancy and disease. That is why it is silly to follow the morals of ancient holy books that were written for a different set of circumstances.
She's a big girl now...let her off the harness, look her in her sweet eyes and say:
"Honey, I'll leave it over to you whether you believe there's a god, but in the meantime, we've got a life to live together; what a shame that we would ever ever think of wasting it speculating about stuff we will never ever know for sure."
It is a journey to realize you no longer believe in God. For me was.searchinh why Gay is a.choice according to.JW TEACHINGS but sitting and trying to ubderstand why this young group would make.this choice. In my listening to tbeir life stories it came clear none would have made such a misunderstood hard choice but would have chosen an easier way of life. This was my start of questioning Gods existence
Good for her, when the blinders come off, then people can really think. This happened to me first woke up to the JW sham then became a christian, then researched the bible and older religions and became an agnostic. I thinks it the natural conclusion of things when you allow yourself to continue your thought proccess.