My jw mum threw us out.
My brother (non-jw but became a Christian 6 months ago) and I nursed my aged jw mother back to a semblance of strength over the last three weeks.
The elders were happy to pass the buck on to me, her DA'd daughter and my bro.
He has been living with her for 3 months and has transformed her ill-kept home and garden and literally nursed her like a professional alone
before I stepped in to help him care for her. He repeatedly told her how much he loved her and was so caring, it brought a lump to my throat.
He has been going to Church Sunday mornings, telling her he 'was meeting up with friends' so as not to cause friction.But she knew where he had been.
We noticed a shift in her demeanour towards us (she knows I'm a church-goer) over the week-end and she started to
make derisory comments about false religion. I swear we did not provoke her unduly, but just tried to defend our faith with one-sentence replies.
She was very demanding of my bro expecting 24 hour care, going into a rage if he was one hour late back from shopping etc, but he just put up with it all.
Monday morning he phoned me absolutely distraught. She had told him to 'get out of my house and tell her (me) never to set foot inside ever again' as she was now
feeling 'stronger'. She didn't want satanic influences in her house any more and we are basically evil. The poor lad had no money until Wednesday and
nowhere to go. (Of course I told him to come to ours.) I went round to help him pack his stuff up - a mate of his has kindly offered him a room - and to witness
my mother's attitude was scary. "JUST GET OUT" she kept screaming at us. I think also the fact that he has lots of tattoos, piercings and bright red
hair had something to do with it. She used to pull faces at him behind his back and I tried to tell her appearances don't matter - he has a wonderful heart.
I managed to get her to give him some of the Attendance allowance money she had received thanks to him putting in for it, and to sign a letter
stating she was throwing him out on religious difference grounds and that he was now homeless.
My bro phoned an elder to say the cong must care for her now, and that 'you call yourself
a Christian organisation? My mum is throwing me out like a dog to 'grovel' - her very words. You don't have an ounce of Christian faith in you.' Nice one.
It's Wednesday now and he is thankfully fine. I believe today (shopping day -
she is alcohol dependent) at the latest, she may realise what she has lost in her son,
who says he will never go back to be so abused physically (she beat him
with her walking stick on Monday morning) or verbally by her ever again. We said 'we forgive you mum' - no reply - and handed our keys back.
I'm still glad I got to see her before she dies, which cannot be far away now.
Oh the sad, mad, sick screwed up minds and lives of jws.
Heart-breaking experience, my sympathy goes to you and your brother.
I've experienced very similar treatment from both my parents, one with bad dementia (non-JW) and the other a deluded, fanatical die-hard and judgmental JW to the end. Basically I'm now parentless though both parents are still alive and have just decided to view it philosophically.
It's best not to be too sentimental and emotional in such situations, as painful as it is.
Focus your energies and love on those who appreciate it.
Yadda: Thanks for your kind and wise words.
You can't help mentally ill people. They can't face reality. It sounds like your mother has alot of issues. She is blaming you, because you are the scapegoat. She is an angry person inside, and is throwing that anger at you two becuase you are the closest ones around.
You two need to get away from her. She is toxic. The Jehovah's Witnesses are a symptom of her toxicity. Remember her for any (if any) good times you had. You two did your best, and have to remember that her behavior isn't your fault. The congregation ain't going to do crap for her.
The next time she gets into issues, call elder care and have her committed to a psychiatric institution, even if its' for a few day watch. Keep & document anything she says that's not normal, and anything that is remotely threatening to herself or others. Your best bet is to get her into a nursing home.
Luke 23:34 likely applies to her as well as millions of other deluded Witnesses!
At least you and your brother can look at yourselves in the mirror and not be ashamed. Well done to you both!
You can't change a person from the religion they are stuck in. It's not that they are being bad, no, they believe they are doing what God wants. If God wants them, he will get them out. If not, there is nothing you can do. Let this be a lession. It is easy to find yourself in a false religion. Check your own religion. If it is false you will see it. Make a list of things against the Bible.
Let me start you off with one:
Hell Fire: bad people go to a hell of fire when they die. What condition does the Bible say they are in? Ecelesiastes 9:5
All sounds to familiar. Sad. Still Totallly ADD
I wonder what spin the eldughs will put on this when they try to get the witnesses to look after her: "those mean "Christian" kids want nothing to do with her. It is a sign Satan's System is nearly finished."
Pulling faces at him behind his back! Evil. At least his church accepts him tattoos and all. I always thought God judged on he heart, not the ink and piercings.
Wow. How very sad. Well, at least you can walk away and know you did everything possible for your mother, she made her bed and now she can lie in it. What a sad commentary on a religion, that it would cause someone to act in such a way. For a supposedly Christian religion they sure are not expressing the fruitage of the spirit, your mother shows no love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness or self control and her "faith" is only in the governing body, not in Christ.
greta---you mention attendance allowance---do i take it youre in the UK ?