I send an internet hug back to you Onager, and to everyone here. You guys are the best and all I have. The meeting with its puke worthy CBS about how great it was to live under the mosaic law. Do I fake sick? Do I just not go? Do I go and give a snide comment? Weather I stay home, go, anything, my wife will still be angry at me. If I stay home, she will be mad she is dragging 2 kids along by herself. If I go, I will be miserable and she will get fustrated and angry about that. I cant win. I dont mean to bitch.
Circuit Assembly Summary
BU2B, I think what you need to do is Fade. I didn't, I just left but I wasn't married at the time. But I'm sure that there are a people on here with experience of fading while married to a JW so I hope they can give advice. In fact, that's what my father did so I know it can be done.
Personally I think that extreme actions are a bad idea. For a few seconds of venting your frustration you will create conflict and anger, both of which will make achieving your goal less likely (I'm presuming your goal is to stop being a JW but stay with your wife). What is your goal? Feeling anger and hurt is completely understandable but if you can put those feelings in a box and act reasonably and logically you're much more likely to achieve your aims.
I hope you get there because you have exactly as much right to happiness as your wife, everyone in your congregation and in fact everyone in the world. Fact.
BU2B, man you've got a way with words. I hear you man, I hear you. You are what I was a few year back. You've got to work out a way to just do the BARE MINIMUM dude without p*ssing off the missus too much. Just go Sundaysand tell her the stress is too much to go anymore and you're health is crapping out. Buy her some flowers and be extra affectionate at home to make up for it and help her get used to your fade. Take it easy brother.
Bu2b, I know the stress is getting to you. But I should tell you the stress is getting to your wife as well. She may seem completely mind-numbed to you but I can tell you from personal experience that her chest is hurting too.
I knew my DH was not happy and very angry. I was busy trying to hold everything together and take care of two little girls. The Kingdom Hall was the one constant in my life. I knew what to expect there. Even when it didn't make me happy. I felt more at ease if my husband did not go with us. I didn't have to deal with all the vibes coming off him.
Once he stopped going at all and then DA, we just lived in separate planes for a bit but slowly I was able to make my own conclusions and make a decision myself to stop. You may be at that point. I can't say for sure it will work but the way you are going now is not working anymore and I know she feels it as much as you. Take the pressure off yourself. Get some space and do something to be less stressed. If you are more relaxed and seem happier it will take stress off her too.
Drinking won't help. My sister is stuck in that dynamic. I hope you get some help for that. God bless. Take care of yourself.
Bumping this for the poor souls like me that have their assembly this weekend.
Fun fact from our assembly - a whopping total of 3 baptized. A record low for my circuit (narrowly lower than the previous record - 5 baptized this spring). Combining with the baptisms from the other assembly and convention this year, we're on track for growth at 1.4-1.6% for the year.
God is speeding up the work to be sure!
JW's have standards now as set out by the GB to praise God. It won't be any different in the "new world". There will always be standards of conduct, dress and grooming, and where and how to live passed on to the survivors forever through appointed men.
Really creeps me out. Can you imagine a "paradise" with a bunch of little fascists walking around, dictating every matter of personal taste?
When I was about 14, I was visiting my old congregation in Orange California (Orange East). Large bow-ties were in fashion, at the time, along with wide lapels (think Jim Lang's wardrobe from his stint hosting "The Dating Game"). I'm glad I haven't retained any photos of myself from that fashion epoch.
So, I'm wearing my wide lapels, platform sadle-oxfords, and big-bow-tie and the smartass kid of a dorky elder says; "bow-tie huh? Well, that's the fad". I wanted to smack him around a little.
Anyway, I digress. When I was young (sixties), paradise was described (at least in my understanding) as a place where we could approach Jehovah directly and we were on a somewhat level-playing-field. Since then, it has "progressed" in the literature into a place where elders and such that pass through the GT will be living as "Chieftains" and the resurrected worthies will be ruling as "Princes Among Men". The description of this future paradise has grown less and less appetizing with each retelling.
I have come to think of it as a sort of global North Korea with a bigger petting zoo.
While not a direct analogy, this future, totalitarian paradise reminds me of a Twilight Zone with the late Sebastian Cabot titled, "A Nice Place to Visit".
When bad guy Henry Francis Valentine dies in a shootout with police, he wakes up in the next world where his every wish is granted forever, and ever. In this world, he has the nicest appartent/suite, picks out the nicest clothes, cars, etc. Gets all of the best babes, wins all games-of-chance. However, eventually he becomes bored with all of it going perfectly his way. He whines to Sebastian Cabot that it's no fun to win if he can't lose. So, Cabot says that he can arrange it so that he loses from time to time and he responds that this wouldn't be any good because he'd know that it was staged.
Henry Francis 'Rocky' Valentine: If I gotta stay here another day, I'm gonna go nuts! Look, look. I don't belong in heaven - see? I wanna go to the other place.
Pip (Sebastian Cabot): Heaven? Whatever gave you the idea you were in Heaven, Mr. Valentine? This *is* the other place! [laughs malevolently as Valentine tries to get out of the room, to no avail]
Anyone have a recording of this assembly, thanks, Maralee
Good post, b00mslang. I'm not your age but I still remember being told that we would be closer to God in the new system, and I think the understanding was that we wouldn't need Jesus as our intercessor anymore upon reaching perfection. Now the Watchtower's focus is on how there will always be an earthly org. under a heavenly org. (containing the anointed, of course), and in this grand scheme of things, the rank and file are on the bottom rung of it.
I agree with your assessment of this "New Light". However, we can readily recognize that it is unsupportable, Scripturally. Basically, they (the GB) just make it up as they go along.
It was, as you noted, supposed to return us to the conditions that existed prior to the "Fall". The current GB appears to be comprised of retards that wouldn't be able to pass muster as one of my staff aids. How are they expected to run a planet? Is the Holy Spirit going to miraculously imbue them with some intellect?
But there are new heavens and a new earth that we are awaiting according to his promise, and in these righteousness is to dwell.
I don't see anything in Scriptures, referencing the "new earth", that indicates that those dwelling on same will require "bird dogging" by the GB, or anyone else. The GB have painted a portrait of a future where we're told, by them, what to eat, where to live, what to do. They are styling themselves as future task-masters in a world where we're going to be directed in our vocations and all that we do.
If we attain this GB envisioned "new order" we could well find ourselves looking back fondly at what was left behind (just like the Israelites did after their exodus):
How fondly we remember the fish that we used to eat without cost in Egypt, also the cucumbers, the watermelons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic!
I can just imagine a future GB version of the Kama Sutra, it would be the World's Shortest Book (wouldn't get past the preface).
It's the carrot-and-the-stick. You are granted eternal life as a slave and mindless drone.
Of course the problem for the GB is that the cartoon they've drawn doesn't reflect the description recorded in The Scriptures. The WTS used to reference ancient Israel as the model. When the Israelites followed the law, they prospered:
All the drinking vessels of King Sol′o·mon were of gold, and all the utensils of the House of the Forest of Leb′a·non were of pure gold. There was nothing made of silver, for silver was considered as nothing in the days of Sol′o·mon.
"silver was considered as nothing".
This is a far-cry from the GB's eternal "worker's paradise".