I realized I've been *hit on alot

by skeeter1 21 Replies latest social family

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Ugh! Those are some toxic relatives that you need to disfellowship from your life.

  • Balaamsass2

    wow Skeeter. You have overcome a lot and should be proud you overcame so much. You can't fix toxic people. Distance is the best armor.

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Skeeter1... You are a brave, thinking, knd hearted soul.

    You have been used and abused and you have been kicked to the curb by people who should love and respect you.

    They are not very nice people to associate with.

    Kudos to you for recognizing who "has your back" and who are the toxic back stabbers.

    It is healthy to vent.

    Thank you for sharing your story.


  • Mum

    Wow! The more I learn about other families, the more I realize how much alike we all are! My story is somewhat similar to yours, but not quite to the level of yours.

    My parents are deceased, and sometimes I feel guilty that I do not miss them at all. I feel evil for even confessing how I feel.

    The rest of my family I left behind and moved to the other end of the country, Here I have my daughter, granddaughter, and great-granddaughter. We feel like the family outcasts, but it's really for the best. My mother's "love" was possession and toxicity. My dad was narcissistic. My brother and sister are both on total disability and hardly able to function in life.

    Like me, you can be proud that you have pulled yourself up by your own bootstraps and left the poison behind.

    Life can be wonderful. We are making a wonderful life, and I believe you are, too. Congratulations!

  • HeyThere

    Skeeter, you sound like an amazing person...you have overcome a toxic upbringing and it seems as though you maintained kindness and humbleness. Stay strong!

  • skeeter1

    Update. Like clockwork, I get a call today from my male DNA donor ("father").

    All is going well, until he starts to brag about how stable he is and crazy my mother was. He decides to have blocked out all the beatings and violence he did, including killing a pet bunny with his bare hands, and to deny that he went for mental health help. I decide that I'm not going to dwell on his violent past, but I'm not going to let him skip over that he did get help. I even went to his psychologist on one visit, and remember it vividly. I was about 14 years old. He went for weeks to this shrink, and afterwards never physcially beat me or my mom again or killed animals. He now states that he only went to get my mom help, and she wouldn't go. He absolutely denies that he went for any help himself. He says that she was the one who was completely messed up. Not true, as it was BOTH of them. She didn't throw the punches or make the black eyes. HE DID! My mom just rode his ass until he blew up. I can only rationalize say that he is very guilty and his mind is blocking it all in order to cope. I tried to tell him how I remembered it all and was proud that he went for help . . . . and ...... he hung up on me. That's a blessing. Now, it's upset my day. I am going out for a walk. I just want to cry. I just want them out of my life.

  • skeeter1

    Ok, went for a walk. Grounded myself in the present by feeling the ground underneath my feet. Going to have to feel the ground for the entire day. The biggest mistake I made was to not get off the phone quickly enough. BIG mistake on my part.

  • jgnat

    I haven't talked to my ex in over fifteen years. He's as much a jerk as he's always been, but my son keeps in contact. So I'm having my daily chat with my son and he says things are going well with his girlfriend, won an RPG game online, and his dad said some pretty nasty things.

    "So everything is the same then?" I ask. My son still yearns for his absent father, but it does nothing for him to keep beating against that wall. I remind him that his father has not changed. All my son can do is change his approach (or walk away altogether).

  • Xanthippe

    Skeeter, thanks for sharing and I admire you. You've done so well despite your toxic family and you have inspired me. Well done! Sorry they have upset you today but they are the losers. They are not worthy of your company.

  • Aunt Fancy
    Aunt Fancy

    You have been through a lot with an abusive father. I agree it is time you stop giving to those that do not appreciate you. You have a loving wife and children and you have made a good life for you and your family. None of us needs toxic people in our life. I too got rid of all the toxic people in my life and it sure does make life more peaceful.

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