No love

by Yerusalyim 23 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Yerusalyim

  Ok,
  Now I'm wondering about Mango's hug. Was it a friendly sympathetic hug, or was there more to it? Dare I cop a feel while she's hugging me? Does she want me to? Does she EXPECT me to?

  OK guys, the long and short of it is I'm a wimp. As long as we have the extra three kids I'll keep bitchin about her not help, about her dropping her soiled clothes all over the house on her way to the shower, or the water that she trails behind her out of the shower. I'll keep complaining about the drawers left open, the dirty clothes thrown on top of clean, the bed left unmade, the sheets unchanged until I do it, the basket of clothes that need put away for a week

  PET PEEVE: I hate doing laundry, and still I'm washing 90% of the laundry (the oldest three kids do their own thank God). I even fold it, I just ask HER to put away our clothes. I took a basket of laundry upstairs and asked her to put them away. Two days later I put mine away. Five days after that I had to rewash the basket of clothes becuase she had proceeded to put dirty clothes on top of clean clothes til they all smelled dirty. Yeah, I could just put away MY clothes, but I can't live in a dirty house, my mom kept a clean house with eight kids, I'm a military guy, PLUS a bit Obsessive Compulsive (not bad though).

  Funny, when I'm getting a hummer I forget most of my complaints though.

  
  YERUSALYIM
  "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
  [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]
• 

  circe2

  Yeru,

  Stop doing HER clothes. If you can't stand them being all over the house, then buy a seperate hamper and toss hers in that one alone.

  Do your clothes and the kids' clothes, but leave hers alone. When she runs out of underwear, maybe it will be a wake-up call.

  Sounds simplistic, but it worked for my sister and for an old friend.

  circe
• 

  Solace

  I believe everyone deserves to be happy.
  So many people stay together even though they are both miserable.
  If we dont think of our own happiness and well being, nobody will.
  You sound like you are being a good father to those children. That is so rare these days, I admire you. They are lucky to have you in their lives. Dont forget to take care of yourself too, K?..
• 

  ChiChiMama

  Circe,
  Good idea.That's what I had to do to my teenage daughter.
  She threw freshly folded clean clothes in the dirty clothes because she was too lazy to just open her drawers and put them up after I did all the hard work and she would sometimes stuff dirty underwear and socks in her drawers of clean clothes.I couldn't get this to stop until I just quit doing her laundry.I told her that she would learn how hard the work was and she would think twice about doubling my workload anymore.After she learned her leason I started doing it again and every time she backslides I go on strike again.

  Yeru,
  I just had another thought. Scary isn't it?

  It looks like you may have spoiled your wife when the family was smaller and more managable and you tried to continue being superman when the family grew.Anyway it sounds like you just need figure out what support you need and then communicate.
  I was such a pushover that it took more than communication for them to believe me.It may be this way for you too.

  ChiChi