No love

by Yerusalyim 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • TR
    TR

    Yeru,

    I hate to see this kind of situation, but you're wife needs a wake-up call. If she doesn't want to go to counceling, you need to boot her out. It sounds like she's more into partying and goofing off than taking care of her responsibilities.

    I'm sorry man, this is a tough situation. I used to have a "party-girl" for a girlfriend before I got married. It was the worse time of my life, next to being a 'hovah.

    TR

    UADNA-WA
    Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America- Washington Division

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    Yadira,

    A flame war? Me? NEVER! [8>]

    TR,

    If it weren't for the three young kids that have joined us I would probably have already shown her the choice between the door and helping more around the house.

    TODAY'S OTHER EXAMPLE While at lunch today she says "Mike, do me a favor and make two pans of corn bread for me to take to work tomorrow" Me. "You're not even going to be at work tomorrow" Her, "I'm on the committee" Me, "What did you do all morning?" Her, "It'll taste better if you make it tonight, it will be fresher."

    All this in spite of the fact that she knows I have to get myself and four kids packed for our trip to Illinois (by way of KY to see Silentlambs on Friday), get another kid packed to a friends house for the weekend, ensure the oldest boy has food for the weekend PLUS making supper and getting the house cleaned.

    ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    YERUSALYIM
    "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
    [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

  • imbue2
    imbue2

    Are you better off with her or without her???

    By the way: My husband is a great guy but we all have our complaints about our spouses. I found that I had to stop "tearing my own house down" with my thinking. I stopped criticizing my husband in my own head I try to look at what he does do for our relationship rather then concentrate on what he doesn't do.

    hehe in ** yrs of marriage I've never had to ask him to take out the garbage. It is just done. Then he does laundry too after he mows the lawn. So why would I complain when he leaves his boots near the kitchen door. I was only "tearing my own house down." Once I accepted him our relationship improved.

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    She's great with Hummers and she generally gives me the pay check so I can pay bills.


    YERUSALYIM
    "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
    [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

  • BugParadise
    BugParadise

    Yerusalyim-->If it weren't for the three young kids that have joined us I would probably have already shown her the choice between the door and helping more around the house.<<

    I would hire a nice hot looking housekeeper and see who shapes up in a hurry. Sometimes to you have to fight dirty .. lol

    ~Bugs

  • ChiChiMama
    ChiChiMama

    Yeru,
    I can tell that you are a very kind person.I think you are feeling taken advantage of.I have felt like this many times only to realize that part of it was my fault.I let them run over me and I didn't say NO and stand my ground when it needed to be said.

    If you make that cornbread I am going to woop you!
    I am joking of course and if you promised to then I understand.
    But this was a perfect example you gave.It is unreasonable of her to expect this with all you have to do.She needed a reminder and a flat out refusal.

    You just have to stand up for yourself because by taking the non-confrontional approach with her it gets worse because you are secretly brewing with all this pent up resentment and she continues to take advantage of you partly because you let her.

    I hope you don't mind me saying these things.I have experience with this and have to work hard to practice what I preach because it goes against my grain. Anyway,Just think about it.

    ChiChi

  • BeautifulGarbage
    BeautifulGarbage

    We teach people how to treat us. Seems she has learned her lessons well. No one can wipe their feet on you if you refuse to be a doormat.

    And...

    Don't you DARE make that cornbread!

    I admire all that you are doing for those kids, Yeru.

    Andee

  • crawdad2
    crawdad2

    hi yeru,

    so far she just sounds a little lazy...and looking for enjoyment away from you.

    you sound like you are handling the situation very well, you must be a nice person.

    i hope you can help her love you a little more.........are you giving her all she needs romantically?........if she were to leave, you would still have to do all the chores........

    i was married to a very energetic "clean freak"......she vacumed the floors every day, and sometimes twice a day,......also scrubbed the kitchen floor one her hands and knees twice a day, and was very active in field service, sometimes pioneering............she was impossible to live with.....

    i guess after that, i would rather have a slightly lazy one,,,,,,,but i havent tried that yet, soo.................good luck, i hope you can work things out.

  • zanex
    zanex

    yeru...only ONE way out that makes her totally gone...show her the door and plant a nice square boot in her arse and dont see her again til court to get the custody worked out. Being walked on builds up after a while until it decides to make like mount vesuvius and blow its top. Short, Sweet and to the point.

    -Z-

  • bitter mango
    bitter mango

    ((((yeru)))))

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