Would You Care If You Were Disfellowshipped?

by minimus 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • millie210

    Not in the sense that what they think say or do matters to me in MY opinion of me.

    But yes in the sense that being DFd would restrict my movement amongst family members.

  • cultBgone

    I don't think it would make much difference as I don't socialize with any jdubs anyway. I used to be "scared" of it but the more I've come to realize that it's NOT REAL IN JW LAND, the less I care.

    My important family that is still in will continue to associate with me. My family that is out will most likely remain out, and continue to associate with me. My other jw "family" that I never see anyway will probably shun me, but then....I won't notice.

    So, in summation...nope. It's no more important than losing a game of Twister, and I think Twister might hurt more.

  • minimus

    I don't like the stigma.

  • New Worldly Translation
    New Worldly Translation

    I'm pretty sure i sent a DA letter some years ago but nothing ever happened. My dad was PO or secretary at the time so maybe he intercepted it. I never brought it up and neither has my family. Don't see why i have to play by jw rules anyway so just drifted. Not bothered if I'm DF'ed. It might sound harsh but I'm just waiting for the older ones in the family to die off. It might give a jolt of realisation to the younger ones.

  • SafeAtHome

    Exactly what millie210 said, applies to me.

  • stuckinarut2

    I guess I would only hate the "label" and stigma that it seems to have....remember that we have spent a lifetime being told that it is "worse than evil" to be DF!

    BUT in real terms, there is also truth to the old expression "sticks and stones may break my bones, but NAMES will never hurt me"

    It is only a "hurtful tag or name" within a small, unimportant realm....

    So, NO...I dont care...bring it on. At least it will make matters clear cut, instead of this "stuckinarut" situation I find myself in now!

  • Dagney

    I don't like labels and judgement...JWs are all about classifications.

    On the other hand, as has been mentioned here many times...it would give a person freedom, which I am SO ready for. I have some communication right now that I would miss...but I guess I would get over it like everything else.

    I think about it all the time.

  • monis1

    i think it may be awkward to run into old jdub friends at the store and have to ignore them and be ignored. But, as it is now, when i see them at the store it is a royal pain in the arse because i have to endure them having to "encourage" me, which i find really bothersome. So, it may be a relief to cut the ties completely...

  • losingit

    Minumus-- you say you don't like the stigma. .. does stigma really matter when you're not gonna associate with those ppl anyway?

    It's a question I myself struggle to answer. Every say I come to a different conclusion. But I'm working on letting go. I spoke to my mom (who has never been a jw but studied once a LOOONG time ago) about the stigma attached. She comforted me by saying that what matters is what I make of my life, the rejectionof failure. I know I get super depressed from residual jw crap and the failure of my marriage- - but what's done is done. You probably don't have as heavy a burden to bear ( I'm assuming you're out bc of conscience matters and not a grave sin) but really- - the stigma of being disfellowshipped is as big or as important as you make it.

  • minimus

    If you are inactive for a decade, like me, JWs will still talk to you. My only dealings involved my very old mom. If I were df'd , it would be difficult because you get different treatment from the " brothers and sisters."

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